Sometimes, writing is more about inspiration than anything else; other times, it is all about perspiration. We must work at it even when we are inspired, and our work is flowing.
We all know the best stories have an arc of rising action flowing smoothly from scene to scene. Those changes are called transitions and are little connecting scenes. Conversations and indirect speech (thoughts, ruminations, contemplations) often make good transitions when a hard break, such as a new chapter, doesn’t feel right.
A properly placed argument or a moment of internal dialogue gives the reader the context to process the action and understand why it happened. The reader and the characters receive information simultaneously, but only when they need it.
Action – reaction -action – reaction. This kind of pacing isn’t obvious, but a narrative can easily become chaotic without it.
We know dialogue must have a purpose and move toward a conclusion of some sort. This means conversations or ruminations should provide a sense of moving the story forward. These are moments of regrouping and processing what has just occurred. Dialogue and introspection are also where the protagonist and the reader learn more about the mysterious backstory.
Sometimes, we end a scene and don’t know how to transition to the next. We can end it with a hard break or write a short transition scene. I always look at the overall length of what has gone before, and if it’s too short, say 500 or so words, I write a transition scene.
I ask myself three questions: Who needs to know what? Why must they know it? How many words do I intend to devote to it?
I try to keep the conversations and ruminations short and intersperse them with scenes of actions that advance the plot.
Author James Scott Bell says dialogue has five functions:
- To reveal story information
- To reveal character
- To set the tone
- To set the scene
- To reveal theme
So now that we know what must be conveyed and why, we find ourselves walking through the Minefield of Too Much Exposition.
Some authors give their characters long paragraphs with lines and lines and lines of uninterrupted dialogue. This is known as bloated exposition and is something readers will skip over, trying to “get to the good part.”
Information can be dispersed via indirect speech,
Let’s look at a scene that opens upon a place where the reader and the protagonists must receive information. The way the characters speak to us can take several forms:
- Direct dialogue: Nattan said, “I was going to give it to Benn in Fell Creek, but he wasn’t home, and I had to get on the road.”
- Italicized thoughts: Nattan stood looking out the window. Benn’s not home. What now?
- Free indirect speech: Nattan stood looking out the window. Benn wasn’t home, so who should he give it to?
Wikipedia describes free indirect speech as a style of third-person narration which uses some of the characteristics of third person along with the essence of first-person direct speech.
The following is an example of sentences using direct, indirect and free indirect speech:
- Quoted or direct speech: He laid down his bundle and thought of his misfortune. “And just what pleasure have I found, since I came into this world?” he asked.
- Reported or normal indirect speech: He laid down his bundle and thought of his misfortune. He asked himself what pleasure he had found since he came into the world.
- Free indirect speech: He laid down his bundle and thought of his misfortune. And just what pleasure had he found, since he came into this world?
According to British philologist Roy Pascal, Goethe and Jane Austen were the first novelists to use this style consistently and nineteenth century French novelist Flaubert was the first to be consciously aware of it as a style. [1]
When I began writing seriously, I was in the habit of using italicized thoughts and characters talking to themselves to express what was happening inside them.
That isn’t necessarily wrong. When used sparingly, italicized thoughts and internal dialogue have their place. When they are used as a means for dumping information, they can become a wall of italicized words.
In the last few years, as I’ve evolved in my writing habits, I am increasingly drawn to using the various forms of free indirect speech to show who my characters think they are and how they see their world.
The main thing to watch for when employing indirect speech in a scene is to stay only in one person’s head. You can show different characters’ internal workings provided you have hard scene or chapter breaks between each character’s dialogue.
If you aren’t careful, you can slip into “head-hopping,” which is incredibly confusing for the reader. First, you’re in one person’s thoughts, and then another—like watching a tennis match.
Readers like it when we find ways to get the story across with a minimum of words.
Showing important ruminations as an organic part of the unfolding plot is one way to give information and reveal aspect of a character. I love it when an author writes lean, powerful prose, but delivers the bits of information just frequently enough to keep me reading.
I hope your writing week has been going as well as mine has. I have made headway on my abandoned novel and feel good about what I’ve written. And that is the important thing—enjoying the act of creating a story out of thin air and thinner plot ideas.
Credits and Attributions:
[1] Wikipedia contributors, “Free indirect speech,” Wikipedia, The Free Encyclopedia, https://en.wikipedia.org/w/index.php?title=Free_indirect_speech&oldid=817276599 (accessed Nov 14, 2023).
Life in the Realm of Fantasy 