The Zombie Apocalypse–and so it begins…

Halloween is just a day or two away. Wednesday night will see the streets of my town filled with the walking dead, the could-be-dead and the just plain skeletal remains of the dead. Should I plan poorly and run out of Reese’s Peanut Butter Cups or Hershey’s Chocolate Bars before 9:00 P.M. or so, I will most likely wish I was dead! After all, my deeds that night are all that stands between the undead apocalypse and the good people of the world.

What is this fascination we have with death?  So many books are being written about the undead, vampires and zombies.  In my town Zombies are very popular, being quite athletic and charitably minded, with many turning out this last week for the Zombie Dash 5k run.

According to Zynga executive, Travis  Boatman, who has been making games for two decades,  “People want to smash and maim and kill people,” Travis says. “But people don’t  alway like smashing and maiming and killing real people because, well, there’s  something unsettling about that. Zombies are people,” Travis continues, “so they fulfill people’s desire to  smash and maim and kill people. But they’re also already dead. So there’s  nothing unsettling about smashing and maiming and killing them.”

Read more of Travis’s Interview at : Zynga

Vampires are of course very romantic, and frequently are the most popular books on the store racks. Anne Rice made the vampire quite romantic and disturbingly sexy in her 1976 novel, Interview With the Vampire. Stephanie Meyers made them not only romantic, she made them mainstream with her mega-popular  Twilight.  Heck, she even managed to make damp, dreary Forks, Washington seem somehow  more mysterious, much more glamorous and a LOT less rainy than it actually is. After all, Forks averages 212 days per year with measurable precipitation — and trust me, that is a LOT of dark, rainy days.

I am a superhero, and  October 31st is a most important night in the calendar of this superhero. It is the one night of the year when the veil between the worlds is most thin and the undead wait, literally DYING to invade our streets. Without my efforts to stave off the annual apocalypse which each year is poised to take place on November 1st, who knows what mayhem would abound?

How do I do this?  I have certain skills… and I’ve much arcane and mystical knowledge. Dressed in my ritual garb, I will personally perform the annual sacrifice which appeases those uneasy dead who roam the streets.

The vampires and zombies who will be knocking at my door on Wednesday will be, for the most part, less than four feet tall, wearing rain coats over their rags and capes, and carrying plastic bags for the annual sacred offering of chocolate.  I will be wearing my lucky witch’s hat and  flying-cape as I ritualistically drop chocolate into the offering-bags, hoping against hope that the annual tribute will keep my neighborhood safe from the walking dead for one more year.

I take my work seriously, when it comes to protecting my town. If it wasn’t for me and fifty dollars worth of chocolate, who knows what evil these undead marauders could unleash for the next year? It’s a terribly lonely thing, knowing that one fat grandma in a witch’s hat armed only with a bucket of chocolate is all that stands between human-kind and the zombie apocalypse.

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6 Comments

Filed under Adventure, Dragons, Fantasy, Humor, mythology, Romance, Uncategorized, vampires, writer, writing

6 responses to “The Zombie Apocalypse–and so it begins…

  1. Love the ‘one fat grandma’ line! 😀

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  2. No pics of the Zombie run? I might have to come up next year just to see it 🙂

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  3. Love it!! Good luck superhero grandma – your corner of the world owes you a huge debt of gratitude for keeping them safe! 😀

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