Category Archives: Humor

HUW the BARD Launch

HTB New Front Cover with gold frameToday is the official launch of HUW THE BARD, a novel set in the alternate medieval world of Waldeyn.

I am doing something quite unique, for me–I am hosting a Virtual Launch Party via Facebook, complete with virtual canapes, champagne, and caviar. The link for this event is here: Huw The Bard Launch Party. Any and all are welcome to stop by and share in the revelry.

This is the hard part of going the indie route–I wrote, had it edited, got it published, and now I have to sell it. There is an art to this, I ‘m sure! Some people with moderately good books are quite successful, and others with truly great books, not so much.  Even Charles Dickens had trouble selling his work, back in the early days of publishing. In fact, most of the early authors of books we now consider classics were unheard of in their own time, except by a few intrepid readers.

So now, in this modern era of social media, I am trying to let the world know I wrote a book. I want folks who might be interested in it to be able to find it.

But I want to do this in such a way that I am not spamming my Facebook friends — because they get enough of that already without me adding to it. Hence, my launch party, open to the public and of course, my friends. How this will go, I don’t know, but I have been looking at other avenues of exposure, and now begins the (tasteful) twitter campaign. Also, many of my friends are supporting me by posting reviews, excerpts and cover reveals on their blogs, which is a huge help.

Carlie M.A. Cullen posted a lovely review.

Maria V.A. Johnson also posted a great review.

Fresh Pot of Tea, Alison DeLuca hosted the cover reveal, and posted an excerpt of the book.

So if you are available, feel free to stop on by  the Launch Party, have a virtual canape and swap a joke or two with me and my friends. I will be posting medieval music that I have come across on YouTube, and of course, we will talk about the book.

HUW THE BARD on Amazon.com

YouTube video book trailer featuring the music of Tom Cusack

 

Lute onBlack Background

 

 

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HUW the BARD launch date set

Map of Eynier Valley © Connie J. Jasperson 2014

Map of Eynier Valley © Connie J. Jasperson 2014

I am pretty excited about things right now!  HUW THE BARD will be officially launched on March 31, 2014. I’m having a virtual launch party and everything–with virtual canapes and margaritas.

On Friday, March 28, 2014 we will be revealing the cover, on both Carlie M.A. Cullen’s blog and on this place, right here.  I can hardly wait!

It has been a long journey, to get Huw to this point. I began writing him in November 2011, and had the first draft complete by November of 2012.

I have the good fortune to have a friend, Irene Roth Luvaul, who is a professional author and a fine dedicated editor, go over it, helping me to make the manuscript submission ready. (That process is an entire blogpost in and of itself!)

Inset Bekenberg Trail to Castleton

Bekenberg Trail to Castleton © Connie J. Jasperson 2014

At that point, Huw was sent to the fine ladies at Eagle Eye Editors, where he was thoroughly scrutinized and we went through the editing process. Because of the sometimes difficult things Huw must deal with, that was frequently an emotional ordeal, but Carlie, Maria, and Irene nursed me through it.

In the end, the final product is a book we can all be proud of.

In the meantime–here is the blurb that is on the back of the book:

*

Huw Owyn is the last true bard in Waldeyn.

Fleeing a burning city,

Everything he ever loved in ashes behind him,

Penniless and hunted, no place is safe.

Abandoned and alone, eighteen-year old Huw the Bard must somehow survive.

 It’s two-hundred leagues to safety,

And then two-hundred more.

A lot can happen to a man on a journey like that.

Map of Waldeyn © Connie J. Jasperson 2014

Map of Waldeyn © Connie J. Jasperson 2014

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Karaoke Noveling

science of relationships dot comGoodness knows I have read my share of badly written books over the last three years. There is no way to describe the agony of seeing a perfectly good novel devoured by excessive descriptions and overblown characters whose moves and emotions are described to the last detail.

So I don’t.

children of the elementi ceri clarkInstead I focus on the really awesome books I have enjoyed, many of twhich will never be best sellers because they are just one drop in an ocean of books.  But that too will change, I think.

Right now, there is this sort of Karaoke Culture going in regard to writing genre-novels. It’s an “anything you can do, I can do better” sort of philosophy, and while it’s not necessarily terrible, it’s flooding the market with less than stellar works by people who really only have one book in them, and not a great one at that.  At some point, this flood of indies will peak and then level out and those who are in it for the long haul will gain better visibility.

George R.R.Martin formatting issue 1 via book blog page views, margaret ebyIn actuality, every indie author is a Karaoke Star–at first we begin as amateurs who dream big, standing up in front of a crowd and putting our talents (or lack thereof) on the line.  We find out that the more you drink, the better we sound, and when you applaud our efforts, it only encourages us.

Young Woman Sitting Looking at Laptop ScreenSome of us become so encouraged, we quit our day jobs and go pro–to our families’ shock and horror.

Regardless of how badly written a book is, the author had passion for it, and just like the guy who mutilated “Billie Jean” with all his drunken heart in the Karaoke Bar the other night, the author did their best against huge odds.

I have some hard-earned advice for new authors, those of you who want to leave the ranks of the Karaoke novelists. If you are really serious about your work,  get your work professionally edited. Yes, it will cost you, but that experience will enable you to put a book out there that you can be proud of, one that will stand up to any put out by the big publishers.

George R.R.Martin formatting issue 2 via book blog page views, margaret ebyYou might wonder what prompted this little rant–I have just spent the week looking through five reasonably priced, beautifully covered indie books–only to discover they were poorly formatted, rife with newbie errors–beginning the book with a big info dump (been there done that)–thick, lush descriptions of “creamy blue eyes” (pardon, must barf now)–and threads to nowhere, obviously intended to entice the reader to get the sequel, which is now on my “No way in hell” list.  My response? “If you went to the trouble to find expensive art for the cover, you could have had the freaking mess professionally edited. Don’t tell me your friends edited it for you, because the way it looks now, your best chums aren’t doing you any favors.”

on writing

Indies–aren’t you glad I only review the books I like? I don’t want to be known for being a bitch, which is what I feel like when I read some of these travesties.  You see–I have been there.  I started out that way and I didn’t get it either. But experience is a real teacher, and more than anything, I love this craft, and want to be the best I can be at it, whether I sell a book or not.

Thus, after grousing and yelling for two days this week, I decided to reread an old favorite, and will be blogging on my review blog about a book that was published in 1997. I have read it twice, and each time I am swept away by it. Tomorrow, I will be talking about it on Best in Fantasy. My posts go up by 8:00 in the morning US west coast Pacific time. If you are curious as to what book I am talking about, stop by tomorrow!

EDIT:

Review of “Fall of Angels” by L.E. Modesitt Jr.

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Wringing inspiration from a stone

Wrong-Way-Traffic-Sign-K-101-1Writing is sometimes a bit of a struggle. Some days you just have to force it, and if you get a thousand words, you’ve scored! It isn’t that I have lost my fire for this tale–on the contrary–I love these characters and their story incredibly.  I’m just at a spot where I am not sure how to proceed.

I’m building up to an important moment in the tale. I know what has to happen. I know who must be there and what they will do–I just can’t set the scene in my head. Gradually, one conversation at a time, it is taking shape.

When I see it in my head it is one thing.  When I see it on the screen, it’s another. Pulling this out of my head is worse than cleaning the refrigerator.

It’s amazing, the stuff that you find.

800px-Singapore_Road_Signs_-_Temporary_Sign_-_Detour.svgSo–I’ve come up with a plan.  I made the plan so that I would have something to do when I was not writing what I was trying to write. Making plans is really a good diversionary tactic for when you are avoiding doing something that you should be doing.

Like writing.

traffic-sign-reflective-10683So I work on business until my head hurts. Then I write a little. Then I do some things around the house but not too much–I don’t want my husband to think I’ve turned into a domestic diva or something. And then I write a little more.

Then I blog.

Then I write a little.  Then I read, which is a lot more fun than any of the above.

Then I get my behind back in the chair and force myself to write, even though I know whatever falls out of my head won’t remain in the book in this incarnation. It will be filtered through me, the betas and then the editors, so the point is to just get that idea out there onto the paper.

6a0120a85dcdae970b0120a86d6130970b-piWhy is it so stinking hard?.

It’s like having to work on Saturday, and hoping that when you get home your spouse or the kids will have done the dishes.

You know the house will be trashed, and the darlings will be starving despite the mountain of cereal bowls in the sink–and you know it will be your job to rush around like a freak solving the problem.

But when it’s done, and the first draft of your manuscript is finished, it’s so worth the effort.

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Spanking L. E. Modesitt Jr.

magii of cyadorI’m just going to say at the outset, I love L. E. Modesitt Jr. and his work.  But my very FAVORITE series of books has a huge failing–the MAPS SUCK!  In Fall of Angels,  The Chaos Balance, Magii of Cyador and Scion of Cyador, and all of which take place BEFORE the world of Recluce is dramatically altered, the main characters are traveling all over the continent to places that DON’T EXIST on the maps provided in the front of the books! (I’d add another exclamation point or two, but it would look like I’m hyperventilating.) (Gasp.)

798px-Diego-homem-black-sea-ancient-map-1559However, I do understand how such a thing happens.  Being an indie, I am responsible for providing some sort of mappy-thing in the front of my own books and that is where it actually gets a bit dicey.

The thing is–maps, unless they are drawn by satellite GPS, are inherently WRONG in regard to actual distances and such. All they can do is provide a general idea of where the cartographer thought things were.

map of Waldeyn 2014As a tool, I draw my own maps, when I am writing the tale so I will have some idea of where the heck they are going, but I am not a cartographer. All maps drawn by me are only a picture of where one town might lay in relationship to another, a general idea of things.

Being an avid map checker, it frustrates me when there is no way to see what the author is talking about when he takes his characters from one place to another. I’m not asking for accuracy here, just a general scribble on the back of a napkin would be awesome–some indication of the direction and the lay of the land, such as mountains, forests and harbors.

BUT FOR THE LOVE OF TOLSTOY DON’T PUT MAPS IN THE FRONT OF THE BOOK THAT HAVE NO RELATIONSHIP TO THE TALE.

Cyador's HeirsL.E. Modesitt Jr. has a new Cyador book coming out in May, Cyador’s Heirs,  and I have already preordered it. I can hardly wait–it’s almost like waiting for Harry Potter!  Oh, mighty publishing giant who prints these wondrous creations PLEASE — make the bloody maps pertain to the actual book! Don’t make me stop this car!

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Hyphen help us–

hyphenated wordsYou thought hell was getting that manuscript written and ready for submission. You thought the rest was going to be easy.

Oh, no, my friend.

True hell is discovered in the editing process of your manuscript. This is when you realize that (among other failings) your knowledge of  how hyphenated words really work is somewhat lacking.

Oh sure, everyone agrees that a compound word is a combination of two or more words that function as a single unit of meaning. Most of us even know that there are two types of compounds: those written as single words, with no hyphenation and which are called “closed compounds”– such as the word “bedspread,”  AND  the “hyphenated compounds,” such as “jack-in-the-box” and “self-worth.”

But there is a third group, and they are the bane of my life–those mysterious, ephemeral denizens of the deepest corner of writer’s hell, called open compounds. These seemingly innocent instruments of torture are written as separate words–the nouns “school bus” and “decision making,” for example.

But how do I tell if  it’s one word, two words or a hyphenated word?  

1. Do not use a hyphen unless it serves a purpose. If a compound adjective cannot be misread or, as with many psychological terms, its meaning is established, a hyphen is not necessary.

For example:

covert learning techniques, health care reform, day treatment program, sex role differences, grade point average

2. Do use one in a temporary compound that is used as an adjective before a nounuse a hyphen if the term can be misread or if the term expresses a single thought:

For example:

“the children resided in two parent homes” means that two homes served as residences, whereas if the children resided in “two-parent homes,” they each would live in a household headed by two parents.  In that case, a properly placed hyphen helps the reader understand the intended meaning.

IMG7663. We also use hyphens for compound words that fall into these catagories:

a. the base word is capitalized: pro-African

b. numbers: post-1910, twenty-two

c. an abbreviation: pre-ABNA manuscript

d. more than one word: non-achievement-oriented students

d. All “self-” compounds whether they are adjectives or nouns such as self-report, self-esteem,  self-paced.

4. We hyphenate words that could be misunderstood when there are diverse meanings if they’re unhyphenated:

re-pair (to pair again) as opposed to repair (to mend)

re-form  (to form again) as opposed to reform (to improve)

5. We hyphenate words in which the prefix ends and the base word begins with the same vowel:

metaanalysis, antiintellectual

But really, unless you are a technical writer, how often are we going to use these terms? Hence, the confusion when we DO use them.

Getting it write online dot com says, “One way to decide if a hyphen is necessary is to see if the phrase might be ambiguous without it. For example, “large-print paper” might be unclear written as “large print paper” because the reader might combine “print” and “paper” as a single idea rather than combining “large” and “print.” Another such example is “English-language learners.” Without the hyphen, a reader might think we are talking about English people who are learning any language rather than people who are learners of the English language.”

Write most words formed with prefixes and suffixes as one word with NO hyphen.

Prefixes: Afterglow, extracurricular, multiphase, socioeconomic

Sufixes: Arachnophobia, wavelike, angiogram

dictionaryxHooray for Merriam-Webster! One can also look the word up in an online dictionary, to see the various different ways it can be combined. Just go to:

http://www.merriam-webster.com

Now the real point of all this is that no matter how much I know when I am editing for another author, I always manage to screw up my own work amazingly well–it’s like my finger has a twitch that absolutely MUST add a hyphen! (Or a semi-colon, but that’s another post.)

Curses on the hyphen!

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Words as Swords

shakespeare-word-cloudGrammar is such a pain. We all speak naturally in a dialect that is indicative of where we live, and there are certain peculiarities that will emerge in our scribbles.

*doh*

I was raised by a set of parents who adored words.  Long words, short words, rhyming words– my siblings and I learned words at a young age and we know how to use them and in what context.

Of course, many of the words I was taught were unique to my family, apparently, but words were important and they were celebrated.

the_last_good_knight_cover-createspace.jpgPeriodically Dad would “lose his words” and what came out of his mouth at that point we were not to repeat….

I have this wealth of words in my head, and yet when I get to cruising on a tale, I inadvertently use the same words rather frequently, as if my head is stuck in a rut.

Words have power. Words can build nations and words can tear them down. “When, in the course of human events, it becomes necessary for one people to dissolve the political bands which have connected them with another, and to assume among the powers of the earth the separate and equal station to which the laws of nature and of nature’s God entitle them, a decent respect to the opinions of mankind requires that they should declare the causes which impel them to the separation.”

51VAA93NY4LWilliam Shakespeare adored words too, and is credited with inventing over 1700 of the words we use today. He did this by changing nouns into verbs, and connecting words together that had never been used before. Some of these words include ‘bedroom’ and ‘courtship.’

Words can win a persons love, and words can destroy a relationship forever. “Where love is great, the littlest doubts are fear….”

To have the chance to wallow in words all day long, and get paid for it is more than amazing, it is what I always dreamed of. I live for words, to write them, to read them — to play with them. I get to quote Shakespeare! “Cry ‘havoc,’ and let slip the dogs of war….”

Long words, short words, life is built around words.

“Without the which we are pictures, or mere beasts…..”

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Fantasy–It’s a Mystery

MSClipArt MP900390083.JPG RF PDMy favorite books to read are, of course, fantasy. But I love mysteries too, and guess what? The best fantasy books involve a deep mystery.

In the best fantasy tales, at the outset quests are undertaken to achieve a goal against terrible odds, and the basis of that goal could be an object with a mysterious history, or it could be to kill a despot with immense power, the source of which is–a mystery.

And then, once the heroes are made aware of the whereabouts of the object (or person) they seek, the mystery deepens. Obstructions appear in their path, things that both block and enlighten them as they overcome them. With each small victory they learn something new, some random thing that might ultimately be the final clue to removing the source of power from the evil dude’s grasp, thus ending his reign of terror.

480px-Schmalz_galahadDuring the process of this, the heroes grow as people. Where they were comfortable in their secure, middle-class existence, or naive but worldly street-urchins, the experience of solving the mystery and enduring the hardships to arrive at the final scene changes them, some for the better, and some–maybe not.

This also happens in a great murder mystery, or a gripping political thriller.  In writing classes and groups this is called the story arc, but in my opinion, it’s just the basis of good story.  For authors just starting out, StoryStarter.com has a great page.

Along the way, the questers may encounter things that don’t appear in the real world we currently live in, and for me that’s part of the fun.

I grew up in a very rural area, surrounded by deep woods. We left Seattle and moved there when I was nine. Beyond the perimeter of our property lay terrifying things–bears, wildcats–things a nine-year old city-girl has no idea of how to deal with.

Dragon_rearing_up_to_reach_medieval_knight_on_ledgeDaily, my sister and I walked up a 1/4 mile long dirt driveway through the forest to the school bus. A large hill was in the center, and for the first year I lived there, I hated the place more than anything. I hated the school, I hated the bus, I hated my parents for destroying my life.

Sometimes our father would have to drive us to school, if bears were in the horse pasture that bordered our property. We would drive past, and he would point out the wonders and explain that with a mother bear and her cub in the horse pasture, we had to be very careful that morning. “They’re rare, and we’re fortunate to be able to see them once in a while. It’s just the mother will see you as a danger to her cub, so no bus for you today.”

All I knew was the woods were full of danger, and my parents apparently didn’t care, because they made me walk through them daily. I did walk through them and gradually, as summer vacation loomed, I began to see the possibilities of living in a lake-house, where there was no restriction on how many days you swam.

That first summer I discovered waterskiing, and my whole point of view about living all year round in a vacation-house was changed. Over the first few months I learned to love the deep woods around us, and to know and recognize the birds and animals who grudgingly endured our noisy, selfish presence.

This personal journey from ignorance to understanding the characters go through while solving the underlying mystery is one of the most important elements of a story. It is hard to know how a character will react to a given situation, and that is the best part of writing them.

DR 3 Prism Ross M KitsonRoss Kitson’s epic Darkness Rising series is one of my favorites, because the circumstances force the characters to  evolve in unexpected ways. Jeffrey Getzin’s fabulous Prince of Bryonae and his novellas featuring D’Arbignal are also good examples of how circumstances shape characters.

I highly recommend both these indie authors, if you are looking for high quality indie fantasy.

A Lesson for the Cyclops Jeffrey Getzin

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Name that Kid

fist_names_generatorA Facebook friend of mine whose given name is ‘Tad’ remarked that he had never liked his name, that he had always felt more like a Christopher. I can totally relate!  I was stuck with a not-too-goofy first name, Connie, which I never really liked,  but my middle name…. To this day I can’t spell it with out concentrating really hard: Lieuettice.

In a way I understand my mother’s dilemma. Good names are hard to think up! My friend, Irene, is always hammering at me to give my characters names that don’t all start with the same letters…which I wish I had thought about earlier on in the Tower of Bones series (doh).

_72982736_vikings courtesy of BBCSo lately I’ve had to resort to my handy  list of Saxon Names. Or my list of Popular Viking Baby Names.   “Come here, BRÖKK, my fine, strapping hero…put on this armor and at least look like you want to go out and wrestle a dragon….you and DAGFINNR can pillage the village when you’re done.”

Runes001So, my dilemma in my current work in progress is that two of the female characters have names that begin with the same letter. When I began writing the series, I didn’t realize the second character would become so important in the story–and now, three books into the series, I CAN’T CHANGE HER NAME!  (bangs head on desk.)

But, instead of sitting here, wailing “Why, why why?” I suppose I should just get on with writing the story.

Note to self:  Always name your character names that begin with different letters–there are twenty-six letters in the English alphabet, for the love of Tolstoy…and if we get into the Elder Futhark we can use all those lovely runes….

names

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Ode to Writer’s Block

Ode to Writers Block 

What beauty is this, that lies sleeping near my heart?

‘Tis word—and word should tumble from my pen,

Not lie locked within the chamber dark and inky.

Where hides the key to free thee from thy prison?

Oh, lovely word, spring forth from the trap that is my mind,

Set thee down upon this paper, word.

Let me hold thee, and from thee let me form the dreams,

The hopes and fantasies that fill my eyes and blind me to all but thee,

Oh word! Fill my paper with thy bounteous delight,

As you fill my head with longing,  and my wastebasket with scrap.

©2014 Connie J. Jasperson, All Rights Reserved

Arts and the Muses by Pierre Puvis de Chavannes, 1884-1889

Arts and the Muses by Pierre Puvis de Chavannes, 1884-1889

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