#FineArtFriday: revisiting Indian Summer by William Trost Richards 1875

Indian_Summer_MET_DT276257Title: Indian Summer by William Trost Richards

Genre: landscape art

Date: 1875

Medium: oil on canvas

Dimensions: 24 1/8 x 20 in. (61.3 x 50.8 cm)

Collection: Metropolitan Museum of Art

What I love about this painting:

Autumn is upon us once again. I was looking through the vault at Wikimedia Commons, and my eye kept being drawn to this painting by William Trost Richards. I featured this painting two years ago, and still love the feeling of “zen” that Trost Richards managed to instill into this scene.

He captured a singular moment of tranquility. A light breeze barely ruffles the surface of our pond. At the bottom right, two girls play beside a large boulder at the water’s edge.

Across the pond, in the center and nearly hidden in the shadows, a teamster and his oxen wade across the shallows.

Autumn’s haze lends a feeling of mystery to the scene, muting the reds, yellows, and oranges of leaves about to fall. This last burst of grandeur can’t hold back winter, though it tries. Soon, the forest will sleep, snow and ice will decorate barren limbs, and ice will stop the waters’ gentle motions.

But beneath the grasp of winter, new life will bide its time, and winter will fade into spring. The seasons will follow their course, but today is autumn’s day to shine, to go down in a blaze of golden glory.

A century ago, William Trost Richards painted a scene of peace and serenity, perfectly capturing it. He preserved the glory of the scenery, but more than that, he captured the mood and the atmosphere of a perfect autumn day. When we view this scene, we can sit back and admire the beauty of our world.

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About William Trost Richards via Wikipedia:

William Trost Richards (November 14, 1833 – November 8, 1905) was an American landscape artist. He was associated with both the Hudson River School and the American Pre-Raphaelite movement. [1]

In 1856, he married Anna Matlack Richards (1834–1900), a 19th-century American children’s author, poet and translator best known for her fantasy novel, A New Alice in the Old Wonderland. The couple had eight children, only five of whom lived past infancy. Anna educated the children at home to a pre-college level in the arts and sciences. [2]

One of the couple’s sons, Theodore William Richards, would later win the 1914 Nobel Prize in Chemistry. Anna Richards Brewster, their sixth child, went on to become an important painter in her own right, having received an early arts education from her father as well. [2]

Richards rejected the romanticized and stylized approach of other Hudson River painters and instead insisted on meticulous factual renderings. His views of the White Mountains are almost photographic in their realism. In later years, Richards painted almost exclusively marine watercolors. [1]


Credits and Attributions:

Indian Summer by William Trost Richards, Wikimedia Commons contributors, “File:Indian Summer MET DT276257.jpg,” Wikimedia Commons, the free media repository, https://commons.wikimedia.org/w/index.php?title=File:Indian_Summer_MET_DT276257.jpg&oldid=678817431 (accessed November 3, 2022). Public Domain.

[1] Wikipedia contributors, “William Trost Richards,” Wikipedia, The Free Encyclopedia, https://en.wikipedia.org/w/index.php?title=William_Trost_Richards&oldid=1089835304 (accessed November 3, 2022).

[2] Wikipedia contributors, “Anna Matlack Richards,” Wikipedia, The Free Encyclopedia, https://en.wikipedia.org/w/index.php?title=Anna_Matlack_Richards&oldid=1055684363 (accessed November 3, 2022).

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The Second Draft: Logic, Objectives, and Circumstances #writing

We are still working on the second draft of our manuscript. We have searched for our code words and examined our character arcs for agency and consequences.

The Second Draft: Decoding My Mental Shorthand #writing

The Second Draft: agency and consequences #writing

MyWritingLife2021BToday, we’re looking at the arc of the plot.  This is a good opportunity to open a new document and answer a few questions about your story. The list of questions and their answers will inform you of the areas that need more work before you send the manuscript to a beta reader.

First, let’s take a second look at the overarching objective. This is the reason the story exists, and we made a stab at identifying it in the first draft. But now we want to make that problem clear.

  1. Is the quest worthy of a story? What does the hero need, and would they risk everything to acquire it?
  2. Have we shown how badly they want it and, most importantly, why they are so desperate for it?
  3. Why do they feel entitled to it?
  4. How far are they willing to go to acquire it?

Second, we examine the antagonist. Have we shown the opposition as clearly as we have the protagonist? The whole story hinges on whether or not our protagonist faces a real threat. A weak enemy is no threat at all, so

  1. VillainWho is the antagonist?
  2. Do they have a personality that shows them as rounded and multidimensional rather than as a two-dimensional cartoon villain?
  3. Do they change and evolve as a person throughout the story, for good or for evil? A character arc must encompass several stages of personal growth. What those stages are is up to you and depends on the story you are telling.
  4. What do they want?
  5. Why do they feel entitled to it?
  6. How far are they willing to go to get it?

Third, how convincing is the inciting incident? I learned this the hard way—long lead-ins don’t hook the reader. Long lead-ins offer too much opportunity for the inclusion of insidious info dumps.

  1. Whether we show it in the prologue or the opening chapter, the first event, the inciting incident, changes everything and launches the story. The universe that is our story begins expanding at that moment.
  2. The first incident has a domino effect. More events occur, pushing the protagonist out of his comfortable life and into danger. Fear of death, fear of loss, fear of financial disaster, fear of losing a loved one—terror is subjective and deeply personal.
  3. The threat and looming disaster must be made clear to the reader at the outset. Nebulous threats mean nothing in real life, although they cause a lot of subconscious stress.
  4. Those vague threats might be the harbinger of what is to come in a book, but they only work if the danger materializes quickly and the roadblocks to happiness soon become apparent.

Fourth, let’s look at logic and the pinch points. Pinch points (events that threaten the quest) are the cogs that keep the wheels of your story turning. How strong are the pinch points in this story?

  1. Was this failure the logical outcome of the characters’ decisions? Or does this event feel random, like spaghetti tossed at a wall to see what sticks?
  2. Does the first pinch point feel strong enough to hook a reader?

The internet says that pinch points frequently occur between moving objects or parts of a machine.

cogsConsider cogs: they are engineered to interlock with each other, and when they move close enough that one cog interlocks and turns another, they move other parts of the mechanism.

When a machine is powered by mechanical or electrical means, the places where the cogs meet other cogs or other parts of the machinery are the danger zones, the places where people can be injured or even killed.

So, our narrative is our machine, and the events (pinch points) are the cogs that move it along.

Logic is the oil that keeps our gears turning.

Fifth: midpoint: What are the circumstances in which we find each character at the midpoint?

From the midpoint to the final plot point, pacing is critical, and the reader must be able to see how the positive and negative consequences affect the emotions of ALL the characters. We must show their emotional and physical condition and the circumstances in which they now find themselves.

The antagonist will be pleased, perhaps elated.

The protagonist will be worried, perhaps depressed.

  1. Did we fully explore how the events emotionally destroy them?
  2. Did we shed enough light on how their personal weaknesses are responsible for the bad outcome?
  3. Did we show how this failure causes the protagonist to question everything they once believed in?
  4. Did we offer them hope? What did we offer them that gave them the courage to persevere and face the final battle?
  5. Finally, did we explore how this emotional death and rebirth event makes them stronger?

storyArcLIRF10032021Each hiccup on the road to glory must tear the heroes down. Events and failures must break them emotionally and physically so that in the book’s final quarter, they can be rebuilt, stronger, and ready to face the enemy on equal terms.

Why does the antagonist have the upper hand? What happens at the midpoint to change everything for the worse?

Sixth: we look closely at the last act, which is the final quarter of the story.

  1. At the ¾ point, your protagonist and antagonist should have gathered their resources and companions.
  2. Each should believe they are as ready to face each other as they can be under the circumstances.

The final pages of the story are the reader’s reward for sticking with it to that point.

  1. Did we hold the solution just out of reach for the first ¾ of the narrative? Did we lure the reader to stay with us by giving them the promise of a solution?
  2. Did we show clearly that every time our characters nearly resolved their situation, they didn’t, and things got worse?
  3. Did we bring the protagonist and antagonist together for a face-to-face meeting?
  4. Was that meeting an epic conflict that deserved to be included in that story?
  5. Did that meeting bring the story to a solid conclusion?
  6. How well did we choreograph that final meeting?

a storyboard is your friendConfrontations are chaotic. It’s our job to control that chaos and create a narrative with an ending that is as intense as our imaginations and logic can make it.

Once we have examined the plot arc and are satisfied with its outcome, we may think it’s ready for a beta reader.

But it might not be, as we still have a few steps to complete. The beta reader’s comments will inform how we approach our third draft, so we want the manuscript we give them to be as free of easily resolved bloopers and distractions as possible. That way they will be better able to see the strengths of the story as well as the weaknesses.

Next week, we’ll examine the next steps to making a manuscript ready for a trusted beta reader. I’ll also discuss how I find readers who can accept that my story still has flaws and who understand what I am asking them to look for.

Plot-exists-to-reveal-character

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#FineArtFriday: Undergrowth with Two Figures, Vincent van Gogh 1890, a second look

Vincent_van_Gogh_-_Undergrowth_with_Two_Figures_(F773)Artist: Vincent van Gogh (1853–1890)

Title: Undergrowth with Two Figures

Date: late June 1890

Medium: oil on canvas

Dimensions: height: 50 cm (19.6 in); width: 100.5 cm (39.5 in)

Collection: Cincinnati Art Museum

Two years ago, in April of 2022, I was privileged to attend an immersive exhibit of Vincent van Gogh’s life through his work. Viewers roamed freely inside an everchanging exhibit that flowed through many of his most famous works and zoomed in on bits one wouldn’t ordinarily notice.

I managed a few shots with my cell phone that offered some idea of what the exhibition was like, but sadly, the camera on that phone wasn’t the best. Here is the one that nearly shows what we experienced, a glimpse into van Gogh’s Starry Night:

Van Gogh immersive 1 connie j jasperson LIRF04072022

The exhibit was such a moving, emotional experience. It really brought you into touch with the man and his art. I became a Vincent van Gogh fangirl that day.

We were in, above, and surrounded by his work. The powerful soundtrack of classical music paired perfectly with the images, complementing them like fine wine does good food.

The link to what we saw at that exhibit is here: Van Gogh, The Immersive Experience.

What I love about Undergrowth with Two Figures:

This very late work was painted at the end of June 1890, a few weeks before Van Gogh’s death. It was one of several paintings in Auvers-sur-Oise, a commune on the northwestern outskirts of Paris, France. This was also the place where Vincent van Gogh died from injuries suffered in an attempted suicide.

This painting is one of several he made in the last weeks of his life using a double-square format. The double-square paintings were made on uncommonly large canvases, rectangular, twice as wide as they were tall. Vincent’s need to express his art couldn’t be contained on an ordinary canvas—he saw the world with a panoramic view.

One of the things I love about this painting is the use of violet and blue in the trunks of the poplars. They are tall, immense, like bars in a window framing the courting pair. The trees stand out against the black backdrop. They have power and are the soul of the painting, even more so than the flowers and undergrowth through which the couple walks.

I think it’s a wonderful composition, with strong brush strokes and deep, dark colors. He saw the beauty in life and painted it.

[1] About this painting, via Google Arts and Culture:

In a letter to his younger brother, Theo, dated June 30, 1890, van Gogh explained the structure and brilliant colors of “Undergrowth with Two Figures”: “The trunks of the violet poplars cross the landscape perpendicularly like columns,” adding “the depth of Sous Bois is blue, and under the big trunks the grass blooms with flowers in white, rose, yellow, and green.”

“Undergrowth with Two Figures” has a silvery tonality characteristic of van Gogh’s works from Auvers. His brushwork may be swift and visceral, his colors strong and biting, his emotion raw and visible, but the composition reveals no hint of psychological torment.

It is painted on a double square canvas, twice as wide as it is high. Van Gogh explored the artistic possibilities of this panoramic format in several of his last paintings. [1]


Credits and Attributions:

[1] Google Arts and Culture Contributors, Undergrowth with two Figures, Vincent van Gogh 1890, Accessed April 7, 2022.

Wikimedia Commons contributors, “File:Vincent van Gogh – Undergrowth with Two Figures (F773).jpg,” Wikimedia Commons, the free media repository, https://commons.wikimedia.org/w/index.php?title=File:Vincent_van_Gogh_-_Undergrowth_with_Two_Figures_(F773).jpg&oldid=618842665 (accessed April 8, 2022).

View of Vincent’s Starry Night, © 2022 Connie J. Jasperson, own work,

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The second draft: agency and consequences #writing

I plot my stories in advance, but once I begin writing, the characters sometimes take over. The plot veers far from what I had intended when I began writing it. Each time that happens, the code words we use to tell the story find their way into my manuscript, marking the places I need to revisit and rewrite to show the action. (See last week’s post, The Second Draft: Decoding My Mental Shorthand #writing | Life in the Realm of Fantasy (conniejjasperson.com).

WritingCraftSeriesAgencyLIRF01302022This happens because my characters have agency and sometimes run amok. Thus, in the second draft, I examine the freedom I give my characters to introduce their own actions and reactions within the story.

Usually, the ending remains the same as proposed, no matter what the characters do. However, the path to that place can diverge, making the middle quite different from what was initially intended.

This is called giving your characters “agency.” Agency is an integral aspect of the creative process. It allows the written characters to become real, the way Pinocchio wanted to be a real boy and not a puppet.

I want their uniqueness to remain central to the story, even when their motives and actions diverge from the original plot outline.

In literary terms, “agency” is the ability of a character to surprise the author and, ultimately, the reader. If you plan every action and response when you are writing them, the experience of writing might feel canned and boring.

Plotting, for me, means setting out an arc of events for a story that I hope to write. I do this in advance, creating it in the form of a list in a new Excel workbook that is the bible for that universe. My outline workbook will contain several spreadsheets. On one page, I create the characters and give them personality traits. On another, I list the order of events that I think will form the arc of the story. Another page will have a glossary of words and names that are unique to that story. There will be maps and calendars to help keep things logical.

tabs of a stylesheet

Some authors use whiteboards and sticky notes, and still others use Scrivener—a program my style of thinking doesn’t mesh with. Google Sheets works well, too, and it’s free. The way you plot your stories is up to you.

When my characters begin doing things that weren’t planned, the outline evolves. That way, I don’t lose control of the plot and go off on a side quest to nowhere. That is when I get to know my characters as people.

Author-thoughtsWhen the writing commences, the characters make choices and say things that surprise me. They can do this because I allow them agency.

Each character will be left with several consequential choices to make in every situation that arises along the timeline. I consider the personality and allow the characters’ reactions to fit who they are.

No matter how they respond, they will be placed in situations where they have no choice but to go forward. After all, I am their creator, the deity of their universe. I have an outline that predestines them to specific fates, and nothing they can do will stop that train.

The consequences my characters face for their choices affect the atmosphere and mood of the story as it emerges. Think about it—if there are no consequences for a character’s bad decisions, everyone goes home unscathed. What sort of story is that? Why bother writing at all?

Let’s look at both the meanings and synonyms for the word consequences.

ConsequencesLIRF09142024

So now, let’s consider agency and the importance of choice. How will the consequences of their decisions affect our characters’ lives? After all, a story isn’t interesting without a few self-inflicted complications.

A story most fantasy authors are familiar with is J.R.R. Tolkien’s The Hobbit. Let’s have a closer look at Bilbo’s choices and his path to becoming the eccentric, eleventy-one-year-old hobbit who vanishes (literally), leaving everything, including the One Ring, to Frodo.

In the morning, after the unexpected (and unwanted) guests leave, he has two choices. He can stay in the safety of Bag End or hare off on a journey into the unknown. He chooses to run after the dwarves, and so begins the story of how a respectable hobbit embarked on a new career as a burglar and became a hero in the process.

Bilbo comes to the huts of the raftelves by J.R.R. Tolkien

Bilbo comes to the huts of the raft elves by J.R.R. Tolkien

The consequences of Bilbo’s decision will shape his entire life afterward. Where he was once a staid country squire, the pillar of respectability who had inherited a comfortable income and existence, he is now expected to steal an important treasure from a dragon.

At the outset, that particular job doesn’t seem real, and he can’t imagine doing it. More immediate problems beset him. First of all, he has no clue about how a successful burglar works. He knows better than anyone that he is completely unfit for the task.

Second, he’s always been well-fed, highly respected, and not inclined to physical labor. Now, he is a novice on the expedition, so his opinions carry no weight. Not only that, meals are scant by his standards, and they must do way too much walking.

Bilbo’s long-suppressed desire for adventure emerges early when the company encounters a group of trolls. He is supposed to be a thief, so he is sent to investigate a strange fire in a forest. Reluctantly, he agrees. Upon reaching the blaze, he observes that it is a cookfire for a group of trolls.

Bilbo must make a choice. The smart thing would be to turn around at that point and warn the dwarves that they are in mortal danger. However, Bilbo’s bruised ego takes over, and he chooses to do something to prove his worth.

“He was very much alarmed as well as disgusted; he wished himself a hundred miles away—yet somehow he could not go straight back to Thorin and Company empty-handed.” [1]

Bilbo’s desire to impress the Dwarves causes him to make regrettable decisions. His choice leads to everyone nearly getting eaten, which is a negative consequence.

the hobbitFortunately, they are rescued by Gandalf. While he is hiding, Bilbo discovers several historically important weapons. One of them is Sting, a blade that fits Bilbo perfectly as a sword. This is a positive consequence, as the blade is crucial to Bilbo’s story and later to Frodo’s story.

It does not acquire its name until later in the adventure, after Bilbo, lost in the forest of Mirkwood, uses it to kill a giant spider and rescue the Dwarves. This is when Bilbo’s decisions become more thoughtful, and his courageous side begins to emerge.

Choices and consequences, both negative and positive, shape Bilbo’s character.

Sometimes, the decisions our characters make as we write surprise us. But if those choices make the story too easy, they should be discarded.

The best, most exciting moments I’ve had as an author are when my characters surprise me and take over the story. I can’t describe the feeling of exultation I experience when my characters choose to take the story in a different, much better direction than I had planned.

Ultimately, they end at the place I intended for them at the outset, but they always do it their own way and with their own style.

ConsequencesLIRF07122020


Credits and Attributions:

[1] Quote from The Hobbitor There and Back Again, by J.R.R. Tolkien, published 1937 by George Allen & Unwin, Ltd.

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#FineArtFriday: The Peasant and the Nest Robber by Pieter Bruegel the Elder 1568

The_Peasant_and_the_Birdnester_Pieter_Bruegel_the_Elder_1568Artist: Pieter Brueghel the Elder (1526/1530–1569)

Title:  “The Peasant and the Nest Robber”

Date: 1568

Medium: oil on oak wood

Dimensions: 59.3 × 68.3 cm (23.3 × 26.8 in)

Collection: Kunsthistorisches Museum

What I love about this painting

Pieter Brugel the Elder was a man with a sharp eye for the humorous and the ability to wield allegory and symbolism like a knife. He cuts to the heart of things, pointing out the hubris and vanities of people from all walks of life.

Pieter Brugel the Elder was earthy and honest in his depictions of village life in his time. He painted what he saw and celebrated the ups and downs of the human condition. Today, his art is an important source of evidence about the social mores and values governing 16th-century life.

This painting details his favorite subject of human frailty, but he’s taken a different approach, narrowing his usual cast of thousands to just two.

In this case, he is pointing out that people are opportunists. We either have the knowledge and nerve to take what we need or the knowledge and sly desire to point out the failings of others.

Both men in this scene are taking the opportunity to advance themselves. One gains eggs and a good meal, and the other gains a sense of moral superiority.

Neither man feels guilty.

About this painting, via Wikipedia:

This unusual subject apparently illustrates a Netherlandish proverb:

Dije den nest Weet dijen weeten, dijen Roft dij heeten
He who knows where the nest is, has the knowledge, he who robs, has the nest.

The painting presents a moralising contrast between the active, wicked individual and the passive man who is virtuous in spite of adversity (a similar theme appears in his drawing The Beekeepers)] And lastly it could be suggested that the pointing man is making judgement on the robber whilst not aware that he is nearly stepping into the water in front of him.

It has been suggested that, with his knowledge of Italian art, Bruegel intended the peasant’s gesture as a profane parody of the gesture of Leonardo‘s St John. [1]

About the Artist, via Wikipedia:

Pieter Bruegel (also Brueghel or Breughelthe Elder c. 1525–1530 – 9 September 1569) was the most significant artist of Dutch and Flemish Renaissance painting, a painter and printmaker from Brabant, known for his landscapes and peasant scenes (so-called genre painting); he was a pioneer in making both types of subject the focus in large paintings.

He was a formative influence on Dutch Golden Age painting and later painting in general in his innovative choices of subject matter, as one of the first generation of artists to grow up when religious subjects had ceased to be the natural subject matter of painting. He also painted no portraits, the other mainstay of Netherlandish art. After his training and travels to Italy, he returned in 1555 to settle in Antwerp, where he worked mainly as a prolific designer of prints for the leading publisher of the day. Only towards the end of the decade did he switch to make painting his main medium, and all his famous paintings come from the following period of little more than a decade before his early death, when he was probably in his early forties, and at the height of his powers.

Around 1563, Bruegel moved from Antwerp to Brussels, where he married Mayken Coecke, the daughter of the painter Pieter Coecke van Aelst and Mayken Verhulst. As registered in the archives of the Cathedral of Antwerp, their deposition for marriage was registered 25 July 1563. The marriage itself was concluded in the Chapel Church, Brussels in 1563.

Pieter the Elder had two sons: Pieter Brueghel the Younger and Jan Brueghel the Elder (both kept their name as Brueghel). Their grandmother, Mayken Verhulst, trained the sons because “the Elder” died when both were very small children. The older brother, Pieter Brueghel copied his father’s style and compositions with competence and considerable commercial success. Jan was much more original, and very versatile. He was an important figure in the transition to the Baroque style in Flemish Baroque painting and Dutch Golden Age painting in a number of its genres. He was often a collaborator with other leading artists, including with Peter Paul Rubens on many works including the Allegory of Sight.

Other members of the family include Jan van Kessel the Elder (grandson of Jan Brueghel the Elder) and Jan van Kessel the Younger. Through David Teniers the Younger, son-in-law of Jan Brueghel the Elder, the family is also related to the whole Teniers family of painters and the Quellinus family of painters and sculptors, through the marriage of Jan-Erasmus Quellinus to Cornelia, daughter of David Teniers the Younger. [2]


Credits and Attributions:

[1] IMAGE and Quote about this picture: Wikipedia contributors, “The Peasant and the Nest Robber,” Wikipedia, The Free Encyclopedia, https://en.wikipedia.org/w/index.php?title=The_Peasant_and_the_Nest_Robber&oldid=1160869804 (accessed September 12, 2024).

[2] Wikipedia contributors, “Pieter Bruegel the Elder,” Wikipedia, The Free Encyclopedia, https://en.wikipedia.org/w/index.php?title=Pieter_Bruegel_the_Elder&oldid=1218696694 (accessed September 12, 2024).

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The Second Draft: Decoding My Mental Shorthand #writing

Before we set the first words on a blank page, our minds have formed images of scenes we want to describe. Steven Pinker is a professor of psychology at Harvard University who specializes in visual cognition and developmental linguistics. He reminds us that we are not born with language, so we are NOT engineered to think in words alone. We also think in images.

depthPart1revisionsLIRF05252021It follows that certain words become a kind of mental shorthand, small packets of letters that contain a world of images and meaning for us. Code words are the author’s multi-tool—a compact tool that combines several individual functions in a single unit. One word, one packet of letters will serve many purposes and convey a myriad of mental images.

These words are sometimes used too often in the first draft as they are efficient. We write as fast as we can when we have the inspiration. Code words convey a wide range of information concisely, and because we use them, we can write the first draft of a story from beginning to end before we lose the fire for it.

In my current writing, I hope to portray my protagonists as I see them without bashing my readers with how I see their appearance. The big temptation is to go into detail about each person’s specific characteristics.

This is not necessary. We think in images, and so do our readers, who will fill in the details in a way that is pleasing to them. I want to convey their characteristics naturally and without beating the reader over the head.

A few years ago, I read a novel featuring a caterer who solves mysteries. She is continuously described as Junoesque, ample, vast, chubby, size eighteen, fat, large … and on and on. In every chapter, at least once and usually twice, we were given a visual description of her, along with indications of how she aroused the males around her.

Those constant descriptions were meant to emphasize the author’s perception of her protagonist as plump but irresistible to the males. However, as the book wore on, it became jarring and unnecessary. I skipped to the end and then set it aside, never to be read again.

powerwordsWordCloudLIRF06192021I want to avoid that sin in my work, but what are my code words? What words are being inadvertently overused as descriptors? A good way to discover this is to make a word cloud. The words that see the most screen time will be the largest. Free online word cloud generator and tag cloud creator – WordClouds.com.

A word frequency search is also a good tool. Word Frequency Counter – Counts frequency of words in text, free online tool (charactercounter.com)

In my current work, a prominent side character is an important mentor. He is tall with dark skin and dark eyes. His hair is a wiry halo shot with white and trimmed close to his head. This is a mixed-race society, a world where “race” means “species.” One is a human born in the world of Neveyah, a large minotaur from the Bull God’s world, or a small person with rat-like features from the Mountain God’s world. Those are the only racial differences people notice.

So, when showing my people, I use general descriptors, and thanks to my use of word frequency search, the code words are now used only a few times. My hope is that a reader will make appropriate visualizations as needed.

Every author thinks a little differently, so your code words will be different from mine. Another way to find your secret code words is to have the Read Aloud tool read each section. I find many inadvertent crutch words that way.

One of the code words I subconsciously overuse is “felt.” My thesaurus says I could exchange felt for:

  • ozford-american-writers-thesaurusendured
  • experienced
  • knew
  • saw
  • suffered
  • tasted
  • underwent,
  • witnessed

The thesaurus offers some other words related to felt:

  • regarded
  • viewed
  • accepted
  • depended
  • trusted
  • assumed
  • presumed
  • presupposed
  • surmised

It’s natural to overuse certain words without realizing it, but that is where revisions come in.

As you go along, you’ll discover that some words have very few synonyms that work.

Consider the word “smile.” It’s a common code word, a five-letter packet of visualization. Synonyms for “smile” are few and don’t show what I mean:

  • beam
  • grin
  • leer
  • smirk

Each occurrence of the word “smile” in my work must be considered individually. Sometimes, this requires a complete re-visualization of the scene. It hurts my heart to murder my darlings, but I look for a different way to convey my intention.

We don’t have to drag the reader through a long list of ever-moving facial expressions, such as lips turning up, down, drawing to one side, etc.

When done sparingly and combined with a conversation, this kind of visual display can work.

By sparingly, I mean no more than one facial change per interaction, please.

oxford_synonym_antonymSometimes, the only thing that works is the brief image of a smile. Nothing is more boring than reading a story where a person’s facial expressions take center stage. As a reader, I want to know what is happening inside our characters and can be put off by an exaggerated outward display.

Once you become aware of your first draft code words, go to the thesaurus, find all the synonyms you can, and list them in a document for easy access. If it is a word such as smile or shrug, you have your work cut out, but it will speed things up if you make a small list of visuals that you can use and change up as needed.

A list of mood indicators can keep you from losing your momentum and will readily give you the words you need to convey all the vivid imagery you see in your mind. I saved my list to my desktop, so I don’t have to waste time searching for it.

Here are some instances of body language an observer would see if a character was wary.

  • Crossed arms.
  • A stiff posture.
  • Narrowed eyes.

emotion-thesaurus-et-alIf you don’t have it already, a book you might want to invest in is The Emotion Thesaurus by Angela Ackerman and Becca Puglisi. Some of the visuals they list aren’t my cup of tea, but they understand how to use words that show what people are thinking.

This aspect of the revision process is sometimes the most difficult. It takes time to examine each instance of our code words. They don’t always need changing—sometimes, a smile is a smile, and that is okay.

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#FineArtFriday: Morning at Grand Manan by Alfred Thompson Bricher 1878

Morning_at_Grand_Manan_by_Alfred_Thompson_BricherArtist: Alfred Thompson Bricher (1837–1908)

Title: Morning at Grand Manan

Date: 1878

Medium: oil on canvas

Dimensions: height: 25 in (63.5 cm); width: 50 in (127 cm).

Collection: Indianapolis Museum of Art

Current location: Paine Early American Painting Gallery

What I Love about this painting:

This is a satisfying scene capturing the best moments of a morning at the shore. The light falls on the water with an almost photographic sheen. Fishing vessels leave the harbor, heading out to sea. The sea is calm, and the waves roll up to embrace the shore. One could wade in the shallows and search the tidal pools for starfish or crabs and other creatures in safety.

The sun is up and the few clouds in the sky are dissipating. This will be a good day, perhaps the best day of the summer.

About this painting via Wikipedia:

Morning at Grand Manan is an 1878 oil painting by Alfred Thompson Bricher. It is part of the permanent collection at the Indianapolis Museum of Art, and is currently on view in the Paine Early American Painting Gallery.

Painted along Grand Manan Island, a favorite vacation spot of the artist in New Brunswick, Canada, Bricher painted the sunrise coming above the Atlantic Ocean in a tiny inlet on the coast. Four sailing ships are clearly visible against the pink sky. On the left of the canvas, a sharp, rocky cliff face is seen, breaking up the composition. Bricher clearly depicts each wave rolling onto the beach in minute detail. The sun is positioned a little left of center of the canvas, but is the major focal point, drawing the eye in. Just like other Hudson River School painters, Bricher hides his brushstrokes as if to make the canvas disappear.

Alfred Thompson Bricher was part of the American Luminist movement, coming out of the Hudson River School. Much like the Impressionists, they were interested in the play of light in landscapes, with Bricher himself being particularly interested in how light played against the ocean. Bricher, in particular, became famous for his seascapes and depicting the North Atlantic seaboard. Bricher is considered the last important luminist painter. Morning at Grand Manan came at the height of his career, and displayed Bricher’s acquisition of European aesthetics into his own paintings.

About the Artist via Wikipedia:

Alfred Thompson Bricher (April 10, 1837 – September 30, 1908) was an American painter associated with White Mountain art and the Hudson River School.

Bricher was born in Portsmouth, New Hampshire. He was educated in an academy at Newburyport, Massachusetts. He began his career as a businessman in Boston, Massachusetts. When not working, he studied at the Lowell Institute. He also studied with Albert BierstadtWilliam Morris Hunt, and others. He attained noteworthy skill in making landscape studies from nature, and after 1858 devoted himself to the art as a profession. He opened a studio in Boston, and met with some success there. In 1868 he moved to New York City, and at the National Academy of Design that year he exhibited “Mill-Stream at Newburyport.” Soon afterward he began to use watercolors in preference to oils, and in 1873 was chosen a member of the American Watercolor Society. In the 1870s, he primarily did maritime themed paintings, with attention to watercolor paintings of landscape, marine, and coastwise scenery. He often spent summers in Grand Manan, where he produced such notable works as Morning at Grand Manan (1878). In 1879, Bricher was elected into the National Academy of Design as an Associate member.


Credits and Attributions

IMAGE: Wikimedia Commons contributors, “File:Morning at Grand Manan by Alfred Thompson Bricher.jpg,” Wikimedia Commons, https://commons.wikimedia.org/w/index.php?title=File:Morning_at_Grand_Manan_by_Alfred_Thompson_Bricher.jpg&oldid=872660352 (accessed September 5, 2024).

[1] ABOUT THE  IMAGE: Wikipedia contributors, “Morning at Grand Manan,” Wikipedia, The Free Encyclopedia, https://en.wikipedia.org/w/index.php?title=Morning_at_Grand_Manan&oldid=1192844232 (accessed September 5, 2024).

[2] BIO: Wikipedia contributors, “Alfred Thompson Bricher,” Wikipedia, The Free Encyclopedia, https://en.wikipedia.org/w/index.php?title=Alfred_Thompson_Bricher&oldid=1229486559 (accessed September 5, 2024).

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Today is Labor Day in the US #writerlife

The first Monday in September is Labor Day in the US, a holiday marking the end of summer. This is the day we honor those whose labor keeps this country running. Over the years, I have worked in a wide variety of menial jobs. All were low-paying and didn’t garner much respect from those in higher-status positions or from management. But I liked my work and never did less than my best.

MyWritingLife2021BChildcare was always an issue. Sometimes, during the Carter years, I qualified for government-subsidized childcare vouchers, which was the only reason I could work such low-paying entry-level jobs. Later, my uncle cared for my youngest daughter after school until she was about ten.  Because I had that childcare subsidy when my youngest was not yet of school age, I was able to support my family relatively well.

They should bring that childcare subsidy back. Once they reached ten years of age, my kids were latchkey kids, which wasn’t uncommon in those days.

In the 1970s-80s, I worked as a bookkeeper, an automobile detailer, a field hand for a (now defunct) multi-national Christmas tree company, a photo lab tech, a waitress in a bakery, and worked in a delicatessen.

During those years, my favorite job was as a field hand for the J. Hofert Company. They grew Christmas trees of all varieties, and I absolutely loved the work. It was outdoors, paid $3.25 an hour, and was seasonal, so I usually had a month off three times a year.  I was able to work all the overtime hours I wanted during certain seasons, as field hands were as hard to get then as they are now.

coins

Coins, Microsoft content creators

Sometimes, especially during the Reagan years and up to 1996, wages were low, and jobs were scarce.  I held two, and sometimes three, part-time jobs to keep the roof over my children’s heads and food on their table. Trickledown economics never quite trickled down to my town.

In the late 1980s and through the 1990s, I worked as a hotel maid, a photographer’s assistant and darkroom technician, and as a bookkeeper/office manager for a charter bus company.

Life became easier in the 1990s. As a bookkeeper/office manager, I earned $7.50 an hour (two dollars over minimum at the time) and worked less than 30 hours a week with no benefits whatsoever. I drove for an hour each way, morning and afternoon, for that job.

As a hotel housekeeper in a union shop, on the days I wasn’t a bookkeeper, I made $8.50 (three dollars over minimum) and worked about 20 hours a week, giving me enough from the two jobs to live on and provide well for my children. I was still legally married to my 3rd husband, but he was seldom in the picture. The marriage was a shield between me and my well-meaning matchmaker friends.

fireworks via wikipedaI was divorced from hubby number three in 1997, and oddly enough, things became much easier financially. I was able to get by with only one job, even while raising my last teenager. (See? Everyone has a soap opera life, even famously unknown authors.)

For all the years I was married to my 3rd husband, no matter what other job I had, I kept my weekend job at the hotel. I kept it because I always had that to fall back on. I had risen in seniority and could work full-time whenever the other jobs went away.

My hotel was affiliated with a good union. We who did the dirty work earned far more than maids, housemen, and laundresses at other hotels. We also had benefits such as paid sick leave, up to two weeks a year of paid vacations, good health insurance, and a 401k, to which our employer matched our contributions.

In any hotel, housekeepers are considered the lowest of the low by the other employees. No one is of less social value than the person who cleans up after other people. Without the union, we would have had nothing more than the bare minimum wage and a cartload of insincere condescension from management.

Not every union is good or reasonable. But while I don’t agree with everything every union does and stands for, I am grateful that a good, reasonable organization protected my family and me during those years of struggle.

After 2000, I worked as a temp employee at Verisign, a tax preparer for H&R Block, and did data entry for LPB Energy Management. By 2010, I was thoroughly sick of corporate America and had returned to bookkeeping, this time for a local landscape company.

That job was a joy.

In my younger days, I worked every weekend and every holiday, and yes, it was not easy, but it was what it was. My kids were good and supportive, and they knew I was doing my best for them.

Every worker deserves an employer who treats them with respect and offers a fair wage in return for their labor.

The world is a different place now in many ways. Even so, someone must do the dirty jobs, the work that no one else wants. I have nothing but respect for those who work long, hard hours in all areas of the service industry, struggling to support their families.

My experiences working in the lower echelons of the labor force inform my writing. Look around you and see the people who make your life easier by being there every day doing their jobs.

330px-Works_Progress_Administration_maid_poster_cropped

Stylized drawing of a maid on a Works Progress Administration poster via Wikipedia

Every waitress/waiter, housekeeper, laundry worker, caregiver, bartender, welder, mechanic—everyone in the service industry is a living, caring human being with hopes, ambitions, triumphs, and tragedies. Every one of them has a story and a reason to be where they are, doing the task they have been given.

Say a little thank you to all those who endure verbal abuse when a customer is stressed out and “doesn’t have time to wait” or is upset by things they have no control over and vent their anxiety at someone who can’t (or won’t) fight back.

Give a little thanks to those whose labor enables you to live a little easier.

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#FineArtFriday: Newhaven Harbour on the Firth of Forth by Samuel Bough

Samuel_Bough_-_Newhaven_harbour_on_the_Firth_of_ForthArtist: Samuel Bough  (1822–1878)

Title: Newhaven Harbour on the Firth of Forth

Date: Unknown date

Medium: pencil and watercolor, heightened with white

Dimensions: height: 25.4 cm (10 in); width: 35.6 cm (14 in)

Inscriptions: Signature bottom left: Sam Bough

What I love about this painting:

This is a faithful record of a sunny summer day at a busy harbor on Scotland’s Firth of Forth, painted before the port of Newhaven was industrialized. When this painting is viewed from a distance, there is a crispness to the scene, to the women and men purchasing fresh-caught fish, conveyed by the choice of colors, the use of pencils with the watercolors, and the impressionist’s technique.

I like this scene. It’s an active scene, bustling and full of mid-nineteenth-century life.

About the Artist, via Lyon and Turnbull:

Considered to be one of the most influential and prolific Scottish landscape painters of the 19th century, Sam Bough RSA was a self-taught artist who spent much of his career working in Scotland. Born in 1822 in Carlisle, Bough settled in Manchester where he worked as a scene painter in the Theatre Royal.

After moving to Glasgow he continued to paint in the evenings whilst working at the New Princes Theatre, eventually building enough success to move to painting full-time. Bough’s reputation as a topographical and landscape painter grew during the 1850s, and by the time he resettled in Edinburgh he had established himself as a successful landscape artist. Whilst living in the capital he created some of his most important paintings.

Bough was as successful a painter in both oils and watercolours, and was committed to depicting a wide variety of landscape views and effects, urban and rural, bright days and dark storms. However, there are specific locations and landscapes that Bough returns to regularly in his work; the hustle and bustle of harbours and coastal towns, with the distinctive Newhaven harbour a particular favourite, and the hunting forest of Cadzow, near Hamilton. Generally associated with views of Scotland, he did also create a series of Italian views. In general, his spontaneity, loose technique and interest in capturing fleeting atmospheric effects, particularly cloud formations and weather, establishes him as an important predecessor of the Scottish Impressionists, paving the way for the development towards a freer, plein air style. [1]


Credits and Attributions:

[1] Bio Quote: Sam Bough | Scottish 1822 – 1878 (lyonandturnbull.com) accessed August 28, 2024.

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Revisiting the double circular story arc #writing

The story arc can take several forms. It can be linear, a straight shot from the inciting incident to the conclusion. This kind of story takes our protagonist through a series of events that all lead to one ending, a point well away from where it began. The protagonist has left his roots behind and is transformed into a hero.

WritingCraft_short-storyAnother arc takes the protagonist on a journey that can end several different ways, all of them taking our characters down a winding path with many choices, roads not taken. They also are altered by their experiences for good or ill.

Yet another arc takes the protagonist back to their beginnings, transformed and ready to face their future.

My favorite arc to play with is the double circular arc, also known as the infinity arc. The majority of this post appeared here in November 2023, so if you have read it already, thank you for stopping by. The infinity arc is on my mind as it’s a method I am employing in a current short work-in-progress.

When I plan a story, I divide the outline into 3 acts. In a 2,000-word story, act 1 has 500 words, act 2 has 1,000, and act 3 has 500 more words to wind up the events. No matter the length of any story, if you know the intended word count, you can divide the plot outline that way.

The Infinty Story ArcKnowing my intended word count helps me create a story, from drabbles to novels. For me, it works in stories with a traditional arc as well as those with a circular arc.

In any story, the words we use to show the setting, combined with a strong theme, will convey atmosphere and mood, so fewer words are needed.

The story I’m using for today’s example is the Iron Dragon, a 1,025-word story I wrote during NaNoWriMo 2015. That was the year I focused on experimental writing, putting out at least one short story every day and sometimes two.

This is a story of the web of time glitching and the perceptions of the characters who experienced it.

Some speculative fiction stories work well as a double circular arc—something like an infinity sign, a figure-eight lying on its side:

dragonIn a circular narrative, the story begins at point A, takes the protagonist through life-changing events, and brings them home, ending where it started. The starting and ending points are the same, and the characters return home, but they are fundamentally changed by the story’s events.

The infinity arc presents one story from two different viewpoints. The story begins with character 1, takes them through the events, and brings them back. At that point, the story takes up character 2 and retells the events through their point of view, bringing them back to where they began. (Two circular story arcs joined by one event.)

Both characters begin at the same place, experience the event(s) concurrently but separately, and arrive back at the same place. The worldview of both is challenged by what they have lived through.

The two characters may not meet. In the Iron Dragon, my characters physically don’t meet in person. However, they briefly occupy the same patch of ground during a glitch in the space-time continuum.

This story ends where it began but with the two sets of characters having seemingly experienced two different events. Their perception of the meeting is colored by the knowledge and superstitions of their respective eras.

The Infinty Story Arc

The first paragraph of the Iron Dragon begins in the middle of a story—the center of the infinity sign. Those opening sentences establish the world, set the scene, and introduce the first protagonist. The following three paragraphs show the situation and establish the mood. They also introduce the antagonist—what appears to be an immense dragon made of iron.

At this point, our first protagonist knows that he must resolve the problem and protect his people, which he does. There is more to his side of the story, of course. But this is a story with two sides. Aeddan’s point of view is not the entire story.

Again, I had to set the scene and establish the mood and characters. Here, we meet the second protagonist, an engine driver named Owen. He has the same needs as Aeddan and also resolves the problem. Neither character would have understood the strange physics of what just occurred had Michio Kaku been around to explain it to them. Both do what they must to protect their people.

The final paragraphs wind it up. They also contribute to the overall atmosphere and setting of the second part of the story. As a practice piece, this story has good bones. I didn’t feel it was the right kind of story for submission to a magazine or contest, as it’s not a commercially viable piece. So, I posted it here on this blog on November 4th, 2016. #flashfictionfriday: The Iron Dragon

Flag_of_Wales.svgWord choices are essential in showing a world and creating a believable atmosphere when limited to only a small word count. I had challenged myself to write a story that told both sides of a frightening encounter in 1000 words, give or take a few. I wanted to expand on the theme of dragons and use it to show two aspects of a place whose national symbol is the Red Dragon (Welsh: Y Ddraig Goch).

But I also wanted to use the double circular story arc, seeing it as a way to tell one story as lived by two protagonists separated by twelve centuries and a multitude of legends. That meant I had 1000 words to tell two stories.

Short fiction allows us to experiment with both style and genre. It challenges us to build a world in only a few words and still tell a story with a beginning, a middle, and an end.

The act of writing something different, a little outside my comfort zone, forces me to be more imaginative in how I tell my stories. It makes me a better reader as well as a better writer.


Credits and Attributions:

Wikimedia Commons contributors, “File:Flag of Wales.svg,” Wikimedia Commons, https://commons.wikimedia.org/w/index.php?title=File:Flag_of_Wales.svg&oldid=808619174 (accessed November 19, 2023).

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