Tag Archives: fantasy

The Curse of The Indie Author, and the Cure

BIF Blog Print ScreenYou all know I write, and you all know I read.  You may not know that I read 2 to 6 books a week and I blog about the ones I really like on a book review blog called Best in Fantasy. I try to write a new post for every Friday.

I began that blog two years ago, with an eye to promoting the books I loved, books that moved me.  As it progressed, I began seeking out and promoting the books of indie authors. I do not accept free manuscripts, as I want to feel NO pressure to say nice things about a book. I always buy the downloads for this blog.

DR 3 Prism Ross M KitsonI have read some incredible, amazing work over the last 2 years–work I would never have been exposed to if not for the Kindle and the fact most indie downloads range in price from .99 to 4.99 and many can be found for free during promotional days.

This amazing access to great, innovative writing has created an entire sub-culture in the writing industry.  People like me, bloggers who regularly read and love to discuss what they read are springing up everywhere and they are talking about what they read. And let me tell you, I have read some truly well-crafted books that stayed with me.

Authors are also springing up everywhere.  Nearly everyone I meet is either a self-published author or a close relative of one. How humorous it is to find that we once-exalted tellers of tales are no longer special–everyone has a book in them or at least thinks they do, and they are publishing them.

This rapid expansion of the self-publishing industry has come with a price, however, and it is a huge one.

The ease with which anyone possessing the ability to read, access  a computer and use the internet can publish their work independently has sparked a revolution. If you have read your American history, revolutions are NOT easy nor are they bloodless and pain-free.

For every book by an indie (or indeed by a traditionally published author) that I can feel good about recommending on Best in Fantasy, I see on average 6 that are just plain awful. These are books that would never make past the intake editor or an agent.

Some indie books are so abysmally edited it is apparent the author is the only person who has ever seen the manuscript. Some are moderately edited but not very well or professionally, and the author (as in my case with The Last Good Knight) gives way too much back-story up front and in huge info-dumps. This loses the attention of all but the most determined reader immediately, people who would ignore most typos and slight inconsistencies for a really good tale. This is where the unbiased eye of the editor can make a great novel out of a promising tale.

There are an incredible number of people writing books who have absolutely no concept of how to tell a coherent story. Not only is the book over-the top with descriptions (which take all the fun out the book) the whole thing can sometime feel like one long ego-stroking, autobiographical trip through the personal fantasies of the author, with him as the main character.  Those books have what I think of as the ‘creepy-voyeur’ factor built into them, and I just can’t get too far into them before barfing.

the Book of Ruth - jane HamiltonOthers start with a great idea, but the author leaves you wondering what happened to that kernel of brilliance, as the story sort of dies at the end and you are left wishing you had quit reading at page fifty.   This happens with just as MANY traditionally published books as with the indies, folks! Take “The Book of Ruth” for example.  How it made the Oprah Book Club I will never know, but it is one of the most depressing and abysmal books I have ever read, and I have read quite a few bad books. It totally turned me off of The Oprah Book Club.

The big 6 traditional publishers pretend that much of the crap they publish is all sheer magic, while loudly pointing out the faults inherent in self-publishing.  And, while it makes me angry that they decry us as worthless but leap to publish us the minute we show any sign of real success, there are hard truths here we indies who are committed to the CRAFT of writing must face.

What this ability to publish any piece of garbage that falls out of your head does for us as indies is to tar us all with the same brush. THIS is the curse of the indie author.

The cure for this curse is as follows:

1. Learn how to write in your native language. Grammar and Punctuation are essential, even in modern literature.

2. Join a writing group and meet other authors, either in your local area or on-line. This will help you with steps 3 and 4. Enter writing contests such as Amazon’s Breakthrough Novel Awards and participate in the boards and threads. Ignore the trolls, they pop-up everywhere (usually with badly written ego-stroking crap to their publishing credit.)

3. Develop a thick hide, and find an unbiased eye among your trusted acquaintances to read your work as you are writing it, so you can make changes more effectively and not be overwhelmed at the prospect of rewriting an entire manuscript from scratch.

4. Lose your ego. Your ego gets in the way of your writing.  Are you writing for yourself or for others to read and enjoy your work?

5. Find a good professional editor. Check their references, and when you do engage their services, do not take their criticisms personally. This editor must be someone you can work closely with, who makes suggestions and lets YOU make the changes on your masterpiece yourself. They must understand it is your work and you have the right to disagree with any suggested changes. If you have this symbiotic relationship, you will turn out a good final product.

This blog-post today has been inspired by the fact that over the last three weeks, I cracked open a total of 19 books, both indie AND mainstream, and was only able to find one book that I enjoyed and gave four stars to because of editing issues, and one AWESOME, amazing book that will get 5 stars from me.

Traditional publishers are failing us as readers by pushing their successful authors to spew a book or even two a year,  beating dead horses and creating long-winded series that go nowhere and have no entertainment value.

Some of the worst books I read over the last two years were written by two authors who have also written books I really enjoyed, but their best books were written in the early days, when these authors were not book-producing machines.

I expect more from a traditionally published book than a boring info-dump at the beginning, and lackluster characters you don’t give a hoot about.  I hold every book I read to that standard, and I am willing to forego some editing bloopers, which with the rush to publish nowadays, they ALL have, traditional or non-traditional.

A Lesson for the Cyclops Jeffrey Getzin

I just want to read a good story!

I want to be swept away to new lands and people I want to know and meet.

I want to be challenged and entertained.

Books are my drug and my addiction, and I am compelled to talk about them, to share them and re-read them.  That is why I blog every Friday on what I enjoyed reading that week.  Stop by this coming Friday afternoon and see what I am reviewing this week on Best in Fantasy. There will be a new review posted by 7:00 a.m. PDT.

In the meantime you can checkout the review for A Lesson for the Cyclops, a wonderful novella written by indie Author Jeffrey Getzin.

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Filed under Adventure, Books, Fantasy, Literature, Uncategorized, writer, writing

Fabulous Fibs

The BoyAs I write this, my grandson–The Boy–is holding an action figure of Mr. Freeze and a whole scenario is being played out:

Mr. Freeze and Spider-Man have teamed up.  They’re off to rescue Darth Vader, who has been kidnapped. Much screaming, and the sounds of bullets ring through the dining room.  The Boy leaps onto his scooter and races to the play-room, desperate to save Luke’s father.

My daughter’s house is being remodeled, and once the new floors are in, there will be no more scooter or skateboard in the house.  Frankly, I can live with that, but on the other hand, scootering about the place does keep him busy when it’s too cold and rainy to play outside.  June in Snohomish can be quite chilly and damp.

Early_razor_scooterEven so, I just find myself cringing as The Boy flies by the cherry-wood dining room table perfectly avoiding nailing a chair, cutting the angle fine. He narrowly misses every obstacle in as professional a manner as any pro athlete.

You would think the furniture would be a scarred and wretched mess, but it’s not. The Boy has talent.  I’ve gotten to the point it only bothers me when he sails too close to the dog. Neko glares at him, but for the most part she tolerates it too.

Darth_VaderThe whole point of this mental meandering on my part is how amazing I think his imagination is.  The Boy’s creativity is non-stop, and it never ceases to amaze me. He tells me fabulous fibs and swears they’re the truth, then admits it’s a story he would like to write. “Or maybe I’ll make it a movie. Like Star Wars or something.”

That makes Grandma happy!

If only Grandma had that sort of imagination!

Here I am, with four heroes about to embark into the snowy north, and I’ve no idea what to do with them.  They’re too smart to get frostbite, and that’s really not so glamorous to write about.

Handsome Hero limped, wincing with each step. His frost-bitten toes were swollen and painful. He worried that gangrene would set in, and he’d have to amputate his own foot. 

Meh.

Although…an occasional amputation could liven things up a bit.

Sharpen your sword, Handsome.

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Filed under Adventure, Humor, Literature, Uncategorized, writing

Java and Imaginary Heroes

EspressoOnce again I am preparing to get in the car and trundle up the highway. Going north to Snohomish.  Gotta love that town!  They have a great new coffee shop, Rock City Cafe, where the owner roasts the day’s coffee every morning. I like to go there and write in the evenings.

As a true northwesterner, I love the artisan coffees we have available all up and down the Puget Sound.  When I am in Olympia, I go to Batdorf and Bronson coffee roasters for the ambiance and the brew.

The hard part of all this traveling is being away from my home and my husband. But, as with everything, we are committed to helping our kids as well as we can.

We have a Blended Family, three from my previous marriages and two from his. Together we have three daughters and two sons. Daughter 1 is 39, Daughter 2 is also 39, Son 3 is 37, Son 4 is 35, and Daughter 5 is 29. All but Son 4 have provided us with lovely grandchildren, two of whom are providing us with great-grandchildren.

Spike-wavesOur kids don’t need monetary help, but, as I have written before, two of them have epilepsy. The oldest by 3 months, Daughter 1, has seizures that have only once progressed to the Tonic Clonic stage.  Hers are more a matter of her going away for 3 to 4 minutes and then picking up right where she left off.  Her new meds are working perfectly with no allergic reactions, and if her EEG continues to look good, she will be able to resume driving in August. But right now, she needs help getting around as public transit does work well for where she needs to go. I go north every other week for 3 days and babysit her 6yr old and try not to be the pain-in-the-arse mother-in-law.

Son 4 is unmarried. He has seizures that manifest themselves in the Tonic Clonic form. Since his last episode he is doing really well.  The fact is, he doesn’t have them if he simply takes his meds. He has them if he doesn’t.

He is on board with his neurologist and is taking his meds.  His EEG looks good too! He has excellent public transportation where he lives, and is well enough employed he could take a cab to work if he chose to. I only need to drive him when it is something complicated.

We are fortunate to live in a time when the medical community has achieved some progress in both understanding this array of conditions we call epilepsy. My family is fortunate that there are effective medicines they can take that don’t turn them stupid, and that they aren’t allergic to.

We know this condition that two of my children share is from their father’s side, as our other 3 children don’t show any symptoms. Their father’s side of the family was quite secretive about some things, and with good reason. As a society we are only now emerging from the Dark Ages when it comes to epilepsy, just within the last 20 years.

Even though I hate the drive, I love being needed. Daughters 2 and 5 and Son 3 don’t need help, so my participation in their lives is by invitation only. I respect that, and encourage it, as I have my own life, and know what it is like. Nevertheless, when your children are well-grown and living productive adult lives it is easy to lose that feeling of being connected to them. That can devolve into a feeling of loneliness and self-pity.

I am so NOT that mama.

In my early twenties I dealt with in-laws who couldn’t let go, and who made my life a misery, so I could never do that to my sons-in-law.

My Coffee Cup © cjjasp 2013Fortunately for them, I have my imaginary friends, and my fantasy life so I don’t really have time to hang around moping and feeling neglected.  The minute someone comes home to take The Boy off grandma’s hands, I am out the door!

Grandma has a coffee bar to go to, and four hunky, although quite imaginary, men who need to be told what to do! Leave the door unlocked, she’ll be staggering in about the time they shut the place down for the night.

Yes.

I’m THAT kind of grandma.

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Filed under Adventure, Books, Dragon Age, Epilepsy, Fantasy, Humor, Literature, writing

Stephen Hawking, Morgan Freeman and the Randomness of Squirrels

Stephen_Hawking.StarChildHere in the wild world of blogging, we spend many hours writing posts, only to find when we read them a day later that our personal editing skills are somewhat deficient, especially if one wings it, as I frequently do.

I’ve been told it’s a technical problem with my keyboard–something about operator error–but I disagree. The incidents of inappropriate self-editing are usually accompanied by the sightings of random squirrels and shiny objects. I’m sure it’s something to do with extra-dimensional  doppelgängers and particle physics as it seems to happen on a sub-atomic level, so I blame Stephen Hawking, Morgan Freeman and Michio Kaku. After all, if their documentaries weren’t so darned interesting and educational I would never be assailed by these thought of “what if….”

As I was writing this post, I was suddenly bowled over by a passing squirrel who casually reminded me that even worse than a badly edited post is the number of times I forget to properly tag my posts.

If you have a blog, and you are not having much luck attracting people to it, it could be as simple as you haven’t discovered the importance of ‘tagging’ your posts.

Many of us have WordPress blogs and many of us have Blogger Blogs. I have both, so I have a basic understanding of how some things work in both formats. Each one has its positive points.  One thing they have in common is that blog posts must be tagged in a way that attracts the eye if you want to attract readers from various search engines such as Google, Yahoo or Bing.

Tagging is an art I’ve not quite gotten the hang of in regard to twitter, but I’ve figured out what works for my blogs.prnt scrn bif

Blogger is simple. The right side of the dashboard has a section that refers to tags as ‘labels’. On my Best in Fantasy book review blog which is blogger, I label each post with the Author of the book I am reviewing, the series the book is a part of if that is a factor, and the other labels say book view, epic fantasy, and anything else that pertains to the book. This could be a ‘Dungeons & Dragons theme,’ or even ‘Society for Creative Anachronism,’.  I will use even just the label ‘humor’ if appropriate. You don’t want to use more than 9 labels. Because it is a book review blog, I just post once a week, whatever book I read that week that I really liked, and then tweet the post and sit back and let it perk along on its own. That blog is pretty much a self-maintainer, as long as I remember to assign ‘labels’ to each individual post.  Then I tweet the post and my work is done on that blog for the week.

prn scrn tag and dragThe blog you are currently reading is a bit different because it is WordPress. It is a two-step process but it is simple once you figure it out. First go to the right hand side of your dashboard. Underneath the “Publish” button is a drop-down menu labeled “Categories.” Decide what categories most clearly represent your post and assign them.

Posts for Life in the Realm of Fantasy usually fall under one or more of these categories:  Adventure, Fantasy, Humor, Writing and Vegan Lifestyle.  DON’T FORGET TO DO THIS OR IT WILL DEFAULT TO “UNCATEGORIZED.”

That is bad, because then your blog will fall into a giant heap of uncategorized blogs with nothing to show what they are about. If you are writing about the potato famine, you want to make sure your category is Irish History, and so on.

Just as important as the categories in a WordPress blog are the TAGS.  The drop-down menu for the tags is located just below the categories. THIS IS CRITICAL! Select keywords AND themes that are mentioned prominently in the post, or that people who are Googling a subject might use in their search. This post’s tags will be:

fantasy, humor, literature, 
tagging and labeling blogs, 
writing, 
Stephen Hawking, Morgan Freeman, Michio Kaku,
Squirrels

According to what I read on the internet (so it must be true) the best rule-of-thumb is to not use more than nine or ten tags for a blog, and never more than three tags in a tweet.

So back to squirrels and particle physics.

According to Particle Physics for Dummies, we still do not understand 95% of the universe.

220px-Michio_Kaku_in_2012It comforts me to know that Morgan Freeman, Michio Kaku, and Stephen Hawking are just as confused as I am.

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Filed under Adventure, Books, Fantasy, Humor, Literature, writing

Creativity

MH900314016

Creativity. Making something good and wonderful from something ordinary.

Sometimes writing is more about inspiration than it is anything else, and other times it is all about the perspiration.

Even when we are inspired and our work is flowing, there is a lot of work involved.

Research. The internet is an awesome resource and I highly recommend you do not rely solely on Wikipedia, The Fount of All Knowledge, fine repository of sometimes mythic information that it is.

Stitching the plot holes together. Finding them is the trick, because everything looks perfect to me, until Irene gets hold of it!

*doh*

Meeting and greeting the characters who people your tales. I write descriptions and biographies of them as they appear in the first raw draft of the tale so that I know them and how they will react in a given situation.

The day 14 writing prompt for the short story a day  in the month of May from  StoryADay.org for today was (and I quote:)

“Simple task today (ha!): The Prompt Write a story that opens, “On the edge of the mountain, silhouetted against the setting sun, there is a small ramshackle cottage made of wood.” Tips This sounds, at first blush, as if it has to be set in a fantasy or fairy-tale world, but I bet you can […]”

SOOOOO this is what MY somewhat less than fertile mind came up with today:

On the edge of the mountain, silhouetted against the setting sun, there is a small ramshackle cottage made of wood. The wind blows through the cracks and crevices, and the glass that once graced the windows has long since fallen prey to the winter storms.

Once it was full of laughter, love and merriment. Children played in the now wild garden. Raccoons now raise their young beneath the floor boards, and owls nest in the rafters.

The cottage and the mountain are one; both have always been and only time will tear them down. Nature always takes back her own.

This is in keeping with my commitment to writing my shorts in 100 word bursts, even though I’m not that impressed with it.  It’s an exercise, and just doing it is good for the writing muscles.

Am I any closer to being able to write a decent pitch for my forthcoming novels?  I don’t know, but I’m having fun.  One day I wrote my 100 words as a love poem, too frank and soul-baring to post here.

It’s cathartic in a way – 100 words that fall out of me for no one’s amusement but my own. Some are good enough to share, some are just mental crap. But it’s a good exercise, and it stirs the creative juices.

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Filed under Books, Fantasy, Literature, writing

The Knight Returns

220px-Sir_Galahad_(Watts)

As always, I have five or six projects going at  once.  I’m in  the editing process on Mountains of the Moon, a Tower of Bones prequel. I’m getting a sci-fi short-story ready for submission to Analog. If they reject it, I will publish it as a novella.

And now I am doing revisions on Huw The Bard, and writing Billy Ninefingers, I find myself writing a new opening vignette for The Last Good Knight. The revised edition will have several new chapters, one of which was completed only a few days ago. It will not have the prologue, nor will it have the chapter that is a long info-dump.  They tell a lot, but they are mistakes made by a new author, and they do the book no good.

I know I’ve said it before, but I’m in love with my characters. And of all my characters, Julian Lackland holds a special place.  He was my first real hero, my first slightly-flawed-but-nonetheless-still-perfect hero.

This is the issue:  we as authors want readers to see our literary vision with the same clarity as we see it.  The problem with that is our readers will NEVER see our vision as we do. They will see it through their own eyes.  This means our task is to enable them to visualize the story and the characters in the way that is most pleasing to the reader.

Folks don’t want info–they want action.

So I’m going to give it to them. Heh-heh.  Good Luck, Lackland!

Fortunately, I am an indie and I have the ability to unpublish a book that isn’t working as it currently stands, and do it as it should have been done in the first place had I not been so new at this business.

Today I hit the road north again, this time to Seattle. I will be working in a Starbucks in the South Lake Union part of town, in a building that houses Amazon. Afterward I will meet my son there and we’ll go to a vegan restaurant, where he’ll pretend to enjoy the food (because he loves his mother) and we’ll have a good time. All the while, all three tales, Huw the Bard, Billy Ninefingers, and Julian Lackland will be rolling around in my head, and I will attempt to carry a conversation on as if I weren’t a raving lunatic, obsessed with my imaginary friends.

He’s used to it.

Tomorrow, while my son is having oral surgery, I will be in the waiting room, devising new tortures for old friends. If it goes long enough, I might finish another vignette!

Sorry son, Mama’s a writer. Reality isn’t her best thing.

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Filed under Adventure, Epilepsy, Fantasy, Humor, Literature, Romance, Swashbuckling, Vegan, writing

Sell me that book in 100 words or less!

Aquarell_gemalt_von_August_Menken-1875 By Creator - August Menken [Public domain] via Wikimedia CommonsI’ve been participating in a month-long exercise where you get a prompt and you write the story. I have set the bar a bit high, as I am giving myself only 100 words to tell that story.  It’s a bit difficult, but I have a reason for this, beyond my usual insanity.

The back of a book has something we writers call blurbs (I know. I shouldn’t use author-speak in company, it’s not polite.)  Technically it is called “the pitch” because you are pitching your product to prospective buyers.  This little thing is critical.  Your cover must make them pick up the book or click on the icon and your pitch must sell it. But hello – you have only about 30 seconds to capture the prospective buyer’s interest enough for them to crack it open, or use the look inside feature for eBooks.

I’m not real good at writing pitches. Neither are the Big Six Publishers, oddly enough!  Even the big companies have found ways of avoiding pitching a novel simply by putting glowing reviews of other works by that author on the back cover.

Back Cover of Mage-Guard of Hamor by L. E. Modesitt Jr.

Back Cover of Mage-Guard of Hamor by L. E. Modesitt Jr.

Bleah.  That doesn’t sell me a book, Tor-Forge, publishing giant that you are. As you can see, on the back cover of this book there is no blurb, only glowing comments about the author’s other series of books.  This may work for a well-known author like L.E.Modesitt Jr., or Brandon Sanderson, but it doesn’t work for me as a reader.

I have observed many indies taking the same route, and skipping the blurbs entirely.

Indie authors take note: I (and millions like me) don’t buy books without blurbs of some sort, somewhere, unless I am already familiar with that author’s work. I want to know what I am buying, so even a bad blurb will interest me more than a quote from a glowing review by one of your Beta Readers.

Just sayin’!

So here I am, suffering the curse of the indie author, trying to not only be my own publicist, but also my own advertising agency.

Thus, I am going to learn how to write a blurb, if it kills me. Writing a 100 word piece of flash-fiction is called a “drabble”.  I figure if I can get this down to a fine art, I can write a decent blurb.

The original prompt went as follows:

Write A 100 Word Story (“Drabble”) . . . although a 100 word story will probably take longer than expected, it’s still going to take a manageable amount of time.

To make a drabble work,
-Choose one or two characters
-Take one single moment/action/choice and show us how it unfolds
-Give us one or two vibrant details in as few words as possible
-Show us (hint) how this moment/action/choice is more significant than the characters probably realize in the moment

I decided to use these parameters for the entire month of flash fiction.  Here is my first one, written May 1st.

Ted  (5-1-2013)

Edna stirred her coffee and looked out the window toward the shed.

“Did you feed the chickens?” Marion always asked, though she knew Edna had.

Edna looked away from the shed. “Of course I did.” Her eyes turned back to the shed. “We won’t be able to keep him in there much longer. He’s growing too big. We should have a barn built for him.”

“Ted was always a greedy boy.” Marion stirred her coffee. “I warned him he behaved like a beast.”

A rumbling bellow shook the shed. A long green tail snaked out of the shed door.

I will keep practicing until I get the hang of creating something interesting in 100 words. Blurbs  don’t have to tell the whole story, that is what the inside of the book is for! All they have to do is sell the book–be that tantalizing bit of interest that hooks the reader into buying your book. 

Yesterday’s drabble went like this:

Quaglio_KipfenbergDrake – 5-3-2013

He stood on the parapet, silhouetted against the starry sky, his wings wrapped tightly about him against the chill wind. The sounds of the darkened world below drifted up to him. The nightbird’s song. The servants in the castle below. The lowing of cattle in the distance.

Hunger, intense and overwhelming clouded his vision.

Spreading his wings Drake fell forward, the wind catching and lifting him; soaring. A scent on the wind alerted him to his quarry.

On a corner she stood, ripe and full lipped—the tamale vendor.

Silently, he dropped beside her, whispering seductively, “Two tamales, please Senora.”

I’ve had a lot of fun with this, and I may have some ideas for longer short stories here, so it’s certainly not a waste of time, even if I never get the hang of selling my own work!

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Filed under Books, Dragon Age, Fantasy, Humor, Literature, Uncategorized, writing

It’s all Greek to me

Blender3D_Dragonfight_03 Sascha Kozacenko, with kind permission for GFDL.Dragons.

Two tons (or more) of muscle, scales and, frequently, fire.

What’s not to love?

They are rumored to be as devious and crafty as your mother-in-law.

Don’t bandy words with a dragon or you may lose more than the argument.

Again, not unlike your mother-in-law.

St._George_and_the_Dragon_-_Briton_Riviere Briton Rivière [Public domain], via Wikimedia CommonsMy dragons are not really the kind who bandy words about, however some do breathe fire. That heats things up a bit!

Heh heh.  Oops.

Darn it. Now we need a new hero.

I hate that when that happens.

In English, the word dragon is directly derived from Old French – dragon, which in turn comes from Latin draconem (or draco) meaning “huge serpent, dragon,” AND also from the Greek word drakon meaning “serpent, or giant sea fish”.  Both the Greek and Latin term referred to any great serpent, not necessarily mythological, and this usage was also current in English up to the 18th century. So in that sense, dragons REALLY did exist.

Which came first Latin or Greek? Greek – it’s a living language and has been spoken for over 3000 years.  Many Greek words found their way into Latin, and other proto European languages. Thus English has some roots in Ancient Greek.

Tiepolo,_Giambattista_-_Die_Unbefleckte_Empfängnis_-_1767_-_1768_-_Drachen Giovanni Battista Tiepolo [Public domain], via Wikimedia CommonsNow as far as dragons go, in my two worlds they are quite different from each other.  In Waldeyn, (Billy’s Revenge) there are two kinds. The smaller wingless variety often has a second breath that allows them to breathe fire–quite an effective weapon, as Huw the Bard will discover. The bigger ones fly and prefer to eat people, so they are considered a nuisance.

No, my dragons are NOT vegans. But that would be an interesting twist….

In Neveyah, (Tower of Bones) they tend to be immense creatures of both magic and the element water. This puts the mage at a disadvantage, as the element that heals the beast is the element of water and you must never use it against them. Water is also their best magic weapon, and they are relentless. They have high reserves of chi and strong magic at their disposal, along with excellent shielding ability, so using any magic at all against them is a no-no.

Good luck, boys.

There are ways to fight them, and all my heroes will find ways to do so with varying degrees of success.  Writing those scenes is a real adventure, as I get to put myself in the battle, and choreograph it so that it flows, is believable, exciting, and hopefully no one crucial to the story dies.

St._George_and_the_Dragon John Ruskin [Public domain], via Wikimedia Commons

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Filed under Adventure, Battles, Books, Dragons, Humor, mythology, Vegan, writer, writing

Inspiration

© connie j jasperson 2013

© connie j jasperson 2013

The town I grew up in, Olympia Washington, has a reputation for being just a bit, how shall I put this? Weird. Wild. Wacky.

The city is the state capitol, so there is that political side of things, that energy that drives the local economy.

Then there are two colleges, one of which is The Evergreen State College, a school that attracts some amazing people. There is a fine community college, and across town in the city of  Lacey, there is Saint Martin’s University.

Many students who come here from out-of-town choose to stay in the area, and so we’ve become a place known for our high-energy arts and music scene, and our…interesting…downtown life.

Olympia is one of the most Vegan-Friendly cities you could ever want to go to, as nearly every small restaurant and cafe has at least one vegan offering and many have an entire SECTION of their menu that is devoted to vegan options.

We are also the home of Riot Grrrl punk rock, with bands like Sleater Kinney and Bikini Kill to our credit.

© connie j jasperson 2013

© connie j jasperson 2013

Downtown is fun, crazy and most definitely a walk on the wild side, even on a Monday afternoon. When I am not on the road, I frequently drive up to Olympia and go to a local coffee-house called Batdorf and Bronson on Capitol way just to spend the day there, writing. I do this especially when I have come to a dead-end, because something about being in downtown Olympia inspires me when nothing else will.

The best parade of the year is called the Procession of The Species, and it is not just a parade, it is an event. In a time-honored tradition, people put their lawn chairs and camp stools out on the curb two days ahead of time, staking out their viewing places. The chairs will sit there, lining the curb like so many abandoned soldiers for two days prior to the parade and no one will steal them.

The parade itself is awesome.

From Wikipedia, the Fount of all Knowledge:

© connie j jasperson 2013

© connie j jasperson 2013

“Taking place during Olympia’s annual Spring Arts Walk, the Procession regularly draws 30,000 spectators and 2,000-3,000 participants.[2]The celebration, now in its 17th year, is completely noncommercial, made possible by community contributions of money, materials, time, and skills.[3] The Procession is produced by Earthbound Productions, a 501 C-3 organization, and currently does not benefit from any public funding from the city of Olympia. Seven weeks before the Procession, a community art studio is established. This studio is open to the public and a minimal donation is requested, but no one is ever turned away for lack of funds. As there is no permanent studio space available for the Procession, each year Earthbound Productions locates and rents a space to serve as the community art studio; ultimately, the group hopes to find a permanent location.[4] The studio, staffed solely by volunteers, becomes a central location for art & music workshops and costume design. Participants use a wide range of artistic approaches, such as BatikPapier Mache, and Luminaria. They use mostly donated or scavenged materials to express appreciation for the natural world and create their costumes, banners, floats, puppets, drumming, community bands, and more. During the event itself, bedecked in their costumes featuring the elements and various species of plants and animals, people of all ages join in the procession. The event itself has three ground rules: no live pets, no motorized vehicles, and no written words.[5]

I have to say though, while the giraffe and the whales were awesome, the giant clam costume (the geoduck) at this year’s procession drew many…surprised…comments.

© connie j jasperson 2013

© connie j jasperson 2013

One of the fun activities happens 30 minutes ahead of the procession. Two wagons loaded with side-walk chalk  pulled by volunteers make the journey along the entire parade route handing out chalk and the spectators then decorate the streets. Some amazing art happens. The wagons return to collect the chalk, leading the procession.

I don’t get direct inspiration from downtown as in “Oohh, write about this…” I just find it stirs my own already quite out-there mind and when the old brain can’t seem to pull up anything worth writing, the change of scenery does me good.

Alas, today I must hit the road once again, but inspiration travels with me this time. I think it will be a productive trip.

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Filed under Adventure, Books, Fantasy, Humor, Literature, Uncategorized, Vegan, writer, writing

Transporting Dead Dinosaurs

The Joy of Childhood  © Leah Reindl 2012

The Joy of Childhood
© Leah Reindl 2012

So I went on an outing with one of my grandsons and his Kindergarten class. You may remember this child–The Boy whose antics keep Grandma hopping.

I honestly thought he was going to be the difficult child on the trip, but it turns out that he has an image to maintain (already) and his little mates believe he is the soul of reason. His teachers adore him.

(See Grandma’s look of shocked disbelief.)

However, I did have the pleasure of riding on the school bus in the seat directly in front of the ‘interesting child’ in the class, a little firecracker we’ll call Mercy. Her voice was beyond piercing–my ears are still ringing.

MH900001542First though, you have to picture the school bus packed with 6-year olds, each one in varying stages of that mania only a 6 year old child can bring to such an event. The adult volunteers were given groups of 3 children each to monitor. We lined up outside the school at the curb, and got on the bus, keeping our groups in order. My daughter and I shared our group, which worked out well.

MH900422812The first thing I noticed was the amazing lack of leg-room in Grandma’s seat. That and the fact that nowadays Grandma seems to take up more than half of the bench.

Oops.

Still, two of ‘my’ children were able to sit on the bench with me, and despite the fact that my knees were firmly pressed into the back of the seat in front of me, we rode fairly comfortably.

Directly behind me was the girl who we’ll call Mercy. She was imaginative, boisterous, and full of ‘it’.  She wore her emotions for everyone to clearly see, and every thought that entered her mind was immediately expressed, loudly, twice for emphasis. She was needy, loud, inappropriate and hysterically funny.

Mercy was the poster-child for ADHD.

As the large yellow sardine can I was trapped in hurtled down I-5, Mercy’s commentary dominated the din. “Look at that dude! He’s smoking a cigar. I’ll bet he’s a gangsta. He’s gonna do a deal. I saw it on TV.”

“Mercy, that’s inappropriate. We don’t talk like that, remember?” The lady who was Mercy’s wrangler was awesome. She was an older lady who volunteered at the school and who was also the school crossing guard. I suspect she was a retired teacher, as she had opted to wrangle the three toughest discipline cases in the class.

The other two were boys and they were…interesting…, but Mercy was the real loose-cannon in the bunch. She was the ringleader, the one the other two looked up to.

Just around the time I noticed I had lost the feeling in my legs, the school bus pulled alongside of a long semi, an open-top box trailer that was covered with a canvas tarp.  A corner of the tarp had come loose, and flapped in the wind as the truck rolled down the highway, giving a tantalizing peek at the contents of the load. (It was sawdust.)

Mercy said, “Look that truck is broken. I wonder what’s in it? It’s probably going to crash, cuz its broken.”

Her seatmate, a boy we’ll call Dewayne, said, “It won’t crash. That’s just the tarp. I wonder what’s under it?”

Dinosaur_comic_left by Luuva wikimedia commonsMercy said, “It’s broken, so it’s gonna fly off and kill someone and there’ll be blood everywhere. We’ll probably be on the news when it happens. And it’s a dinosaur, under the tarp.  A dead one.”

Dewayne said, “How do you know its a dead dinosaur? It could be any sort of dead body.”

“Human bodies aren’t that big. It has to be a dinosaur.” Mercy’s tone implied that she held the trump card. “I wonder where they’re going to bury it.”

All I could think of was that the seat behind me was occupied by two future authors of fantasy crime fiction, and the girl could possibly be a future Quentin Tarantino. This little girl was hysterically funny, obsessed with the macabre, totally off the wall and sharper than a tack.

I was SO grateful she was not in our group, as she was fast as lightning, didn’t hear any instructions, and made her own rules as she went.

It was a fun trip.

Grandma needed a nap when we got home.

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Filed under Adventure, Books, Dragons, Fantasy, Humor, Literature, Uncategorized, Vegan, writer, writing