The ‘e’ word

MP900049975Letting go is never easy.

You are grown up now, you’re a big boy.  You make your decisions, right or wrong.

You’re thirty-five years old.

You have a seizure disorder.  It’s okay to call it epilepsy. It’s okay to say the ‘e’ word. It’s not like we are naming Voldemort. Nothing caused it. Nothing will cure it. It will come and go, and yes it’s a bastard to deal with, but we deal with it. When you take your medicine, the symptoms are controlled.  When you don’t, they are not.

You have this epilepsy thing and you have trouble accepting it, but I believe in you. Nothing has changed, except you have this problem sometimes.

Don’t choose to live your life looking at what you don’t have–so caught up in where things went wrong that you can’t see where they went right.

Life is so beautiful.

Your life is out there, waiting for you to claim it, waiting for you to wrap your arms around it and embrace it.

Life is good.  Don’t become a small, angry person just because things aren’t perfect. Don’t build walls around the you that I love so much. Don’t hide behind stubborn anger, because life doesn’t care if you’re mad or not. Life goes on, and the only way to live, REALLY live is to grab it, and learn to love the life that exists despite the ugly bits.

It’s the contrast of the good and the bad that makes the good in life so beautiful.

Embrace every minute and see the beauty around you. Live in the moment, because you only get one moment, ever–and that moment is now.

Don’t let the ‘e’ word steal your “now.”


Filed under Battles, Literature, writing

8 responses to “The ‘e’ word

  1. From the heart, Connie. I know a small, angry person too. Sometimes one can only watch and wait to catch, no matter the age.


  2. fetixuyan16

    “Life is so beautiful” I like those words.. Nice post..


  3. Ali Isaac

    Lovely…I can feel the emotion in this piece. I hope the person you wrote it for takes note. My daughter has epilepsy too, among many other conditions. Sometimes, I become that ‘small, angry person’ on her behalf; its easy to fall into that, but there are so many more reasons to be thankful, I just need to remind myself of that.


  4. Connie, you are such a brave and wonderful mother. I know how heavily this weighs on you and your strength inspires me!


  5. Thank you, everyone, for your support. It means a lot to me! We are dealing with sideffects of meds right now, but hope to have that settled soon.


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