June 23, 2025 · 6:00 am

Employing contrast in the architecture of a story #writing

There is a quote from the Buddha that I have found especially true for creating a great story. “There has to be evil so that good can prove its purity above it.”

J.R.R. Tolkien understood this quite clearly. His work was written in a highly literate style that everyone understood a century ago. Reading the Lord of the Rings trilogy requires commitment, and today, fewer readers are willing to undertake it.

Tolkien employs contrasts throughout the length of his stories. He shows the peace and prosperity that Frodo enjoys and then asks him to choose his destiny. Frodo chooses the difficult path. Tolkien takes the hobbit and all the central characters through many personal changes. He forces them to face their fears, gives them reasons to continue, to not give up.

Frodo’s story is about good and evil, war and peace, and the hardships endured in the effort to destroy the One Ring and negate the power of Sauron. So why would ordinary middle-class hobbits living comfortable lives go to so much trouble if Sauron’s evil posed no threat to their peace and prosperity?

They do it because they can see that in the long run, Sauron’s orcs would overrun the Shire and destroy everything good and beautiful.

Lengthwise, the three books aren’t as long as people make them out to be, especially when compared to Robert Jordan and Brandon Sanderson’s long and winding 15-book Wheel of Time series (comprised of 4,410,036 words) or Tad Williams’ epic and highly literate Memory, Sorrow, and Thorn series (comprised of 1,121,720 words).

Tolkien’s trilogy totals only 455,175 words, which is considered an optimal length for a debut series in the epic fantasy genre. Fans of epic fantasy like and expect long books with large stories.

Whenever I talk about what we can learn from Tolkien, someone will respond that Tolkien wrote in a style that 21st-century readers find frustrating. Certainly, he used more words than a modern writer would dare to. A 21st century writer would face the slings and arrows of the modern critique group.

But while his style is more wordy than modern taste, his work is still compelling. He still has plenty to say that can resonate with us. In the process, he takes us on a journey with side quests and an epic, wonderful ending that was somehow left out of the movies – the Scouring of the Shire.

Hint: Yes, reading the books requires persistence, but if you want the real story and don’t have the time or patience, the audiobooks, as narrated by Andy Serkis (who played the role of Gollum in the movies), are a must-listen.

With the Ballantine Books paperback edition in 1965, J.R.R. Tolkien brought epic fantasy to my generation of college students. In the 1970’s, in my college town, the graffiti in downtown Olympia read “Frodo Lives.”  Frodo Lives! – Wikipedia

But how did Tolkien’s style of storytelling influence the genre as we know it today? For that, we take a look at Tad Williams’s masterpiece, The Dragonbone Chair. It’s the first book in the fantasy series Memory, Sorrow, and Thorn. It was published in 1988 and hooked me.

Williams takes the fourteen-year-old Simon, a kitchen boy, and Miriamele, a princess, and gives them an epic quest. He brings them together and then forces them down separate paths that eventually rejoin. Along the way, they grow into adulthood, and what they learn about themselves is both bitter and wonderful.

I read The Dragonbone Chair when it first came out in paperback. I loved it so much, I had to re-read it immediately upon finishing.

In both the Lord of the Rings trilogy and Tad Williams’ Memory, Sorrow, and Thorn, we have two of the most enduring works of modern fantasy fiction. Both feature an epic central quest and side quests, all of which must be completed for the protagonists to arrive at the final resolution.

In both series, we have moments of joy and contentment sharply contrasted with events causing terrible deprivation and loss. Each event urges us to keep reading, inspiring the deepest emotions and the desire to find out what happens next.

This use of contrast is fundamental to the fables and sagas that humans have been telling since before the discovery of fire. Contrast is why Tolkien’s work is the foundation upon which modern epic fantasy is built. The way Tad Williams wrote his characters, and his trimmed down prose further modernized the genre, but he kept the tropes of an engaging narrative, epic quests, and diverse fantasy cultures and races.

When the author employs the highs and lows of our human experience to tell their story, the reader empathizes with the characters. They live the story as if they were the protagonist.

And what about contrasts in world-building? It can be shown in subtle ways.

Juxtaposing plenty and poverty in your worldbuilding shows the backstory without requiring an info dump. Contrast and good pacing turns a wall of words into something worth reading.

In our real world, war, famine, and floods are followed by times of relative peace and plenty. The emotions and experiences of people living through all those times are the real stories.

This is not just a concept found in fantasy novels; it’s a part of our human history and our future.

We shouldn’t limit our reading to the old favorites that started us on this writing path. You may not love the novels on the NY Times literary fiction bestseller list, but it’s a good idea to read one or two of them every now and then as a means of educating yourself. We learn the architecture of stories by reading and dissecting novels and short stories written by the masters, both famous and infamous.

What you don’t like is as important as what you enjoy. Why would a book that you dislike be so successful? No matter how much money a publisher throws at them, some books are stinkers.

You don’t need to pay for books you won’t like. Go to the library or to the secondhand bookstore and see what they have from the NYT bestseller list that you would be willing to examine.

Give that book a postmortem.

  • Did the book have a distinct plot arc?
  • Did it have a strong opening that hooked you?
  • Was there originality in the way the characters and situations were presented?
  • Did you like the protagonist and other main characters? Why or why not?
  • Were you able to suspend your disbelief?
  • Did the narrative contain enough contrasts to keep things interesting?
  • By the end of the book, did the characters grow and change within their personal arc? How were they changed?
  • What sort of transitions did the author employ that made you want to turn the page? How can you use that kind of transition in your own work?
  • Did you get a satisfying ending? If not, how could it have been made better?

Reading and dissecting the works of successful authors is a necessary component of any education in the craft of writing.

When you read a book that you like or dislike, think about how you can apply what you learn to your own work.

I say this regularly, but I must repeat it – getting an education about the craft of writing is important. If you have a good library in your town, this sort of education is free, a price that fits my budget perfectly. What I learn from the masters helps me to plan the pacing, helps me balance the emotions and events in my own stories.

 

 

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June 20, 2025 · 6:00 am

#FineArtFriday: Summer, field of poppies by Claude Monet 1875

Artist: Claude Monet (1840–1926)

Title: Français : L’été. Champ de coquelicots

English: Summer, field of poppies

Deutsch: Sommer. Klatschmohnfeld

Date:   1875

Medium: oil on canvas

Dimensions: height: 60 cm (23.6 in); width: 81 cm (31.8 in)

Collection: Private collection

What I love about this painting:

Claude Monet’s gift for bringing in the beauty of nature shines in this painting. He shows us a warm day in high summer, with fluffy white clouds sailing across blue skies. The wild poppies have taken root in a fallow field, and are mingled in with the tall field-grass. A woman and two children have come to pick wildflowers in the meadow. One can almost hear the buzzing of bees as they go about their business mingling with the occasional birdsong.

I would love to have walked in that field.

About the Artist, via Wikipedia:

Oscar-Claude Monet: 14 November 1840 – 5 December 1926) was a French painter and founder of Impressionism painting who is seen as a key precursor to modernism, especially in his attempts to paint nature as he perceived it.[1] During his long career, he was the most consistent and prolific practitioner of Impressionism’s philosophy of expressing one’s perceptions of nature, especially as applied to plein air (outdoor) landscape painting.[2] The term “Impressionism” is derived from the title of his painting Impression, soleil levant, which was exhibited in 1874 at the First Impressionist Exhibition, initiated by Monet and a number of like-minded artists as an alternative to the Salon.

Monet was raised in Le Havre, Normandy, and became interested in the outdoors and drawing from an early age. Although his mother, Louise-Justine Aubrée Monet, supported his ambitions to be a painter, his father, Claude-Adolphe, disapproved and wanted him to pursue a career in business. He was very close to his mother, but she died in January 1857 when he was sixteen years old, and he was sent to live with his childless, widowed but wealthy aunt, Marie-Jeanne Lecadre. He went on to study at the Académie Suisse, and under the academic history painter Charles Gleyre, where he was a classmate of Auguste Renoir. His early works include landscapes, seascapes, and portraits, but attracted little attention. A key early influence was Eugène Boudin, who introduced him to the concept of plein air painting. From 1883, Monet lived in Giverny, also in northern France, where he purchased a house and property and began a vast landscaping project, including a water-lily pond.

Monet’s ambition to document the French countryside led to a method of painting the same scene many times so as to capture the changing of light and the passing of the seasons. Among the best-known examples are his series of haystacks (1890–1891), paintings of Rouen Cathedral (1892–1894), and the paintings of water lilies in his garden in Giverny, which occupied him for the last 20 years of his life. Frequently exhibited and successful during his lifetime, Monet’s fame and popularity soared in the second half of the 20th century when he became one of the world’s most famous painters and a source of inspiration for a burgeoning group of artists. [1]

Credits and Attributions:

IMAGE: Wikimedia Commons contributors, “File:Claude Monet – L’été – Champ de coquelicots.JPG,” Wikimedia Commons, https://commons.wikimedia.org/w/index.php?title=File:Claude_Monet_-_L%27%C3%A9t%C3%A9_-_Champ_de_coquelicots.JPG&oldid=1017229638 (accessed June 19, 2025).

[1] Wikipedia contributors, “Claude Monet,” Wikipedia, The Free Encyclopedia, https://en.wikipedia.org/w/index.php?title=Claude_Monet&oldid=1295997578 (accessed June 19, 2025).

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June 16, 2025 · 6:00 am

#Writing the Disaster 

Severe weather, fires, famines, and floods are terrible to live through, and many harrowing stories emerge from these experiences. Stories of apocalyptic catastrophes resonate because disaster drives humanity to strive for greater things. Those who survive and rise above it become heroes.

One disaster we may all face at some point is famine driven by climate change. Hunger exists in this world, and famine is an enemy that takes no prisoners.

Food deprivation can have a lasting impact on a person. People can survive on very little, and unfortunately, many do. To go without adequate food for any length of time changes you, makes you determined to never go hungry again. You stockpile preserved foods in times of plenty as a shield against the next famine.

Unfortunately, for some, hunger will lead them to make choices that challenge the accepted morality of those who have no concept of what hunger truly is.

If you are looking for the seeds of a good story, consider the small tragedies people face each day, deeply personal catastrophes. These disasters happen on what seems an unimportant level to people who have resources.

I have used this example before, but it’s a real-life situation, one that may be familiar to you and your community. A young widow is working two part-time jobs and raising her two small children. How would you write her story? Perhaps she lives in an area with no public transportation. She struggles to pay for fuel, but what if her car breaks down? How will she get to work?

All her money goes to fuel, childcare, rent, and utilities. What little she has left after those bills are paid goes to food. She has no resources and no means to pay for car repairs. Without her car, she will lose both jobs. That is a profoundly personal disaster, one from which she and her children might not recover.

But maybe that plot isn’t big enough to inspire you to write a book about it. Perhaps you want to write about a disaster that inspires heroics in the face of widespread devastation. The world itself can provide us with plenty of drama. Wildfires, floods, tornadoes, hurricanes, earthquakes, tsunamis – these catastrophes regularly destroy thousands of communities.

courtesy Office360 graphics

Once we have introduced our characters and set the scene, it’s time to bring on the natural disaster. When you begin writing the story, it will be chaotic. Just get the bones of the events down as well as you can and move on. You must get the entire story down while it is fresh.

In the first draft, write each scene as fast as you can, and don’t worry about fine-tuning it because you will come back to it later. The second draft is where you will iron out the rough spots and make things logical.

In the second draft, we take apart the scenes where we have told the story and reword them. We show the events as if we were painting with words. We use power words to inject real, believable emotion into the experience.

The window shatters, and a two-by-four impales itself in the wall beside David amid a shower of glass shards. I stare, dumbstruck, as the wind tears the door from my hand and slams it against the wall.

Verbs in that scene are: stare, impales, shatter, tears, and slams. Show the bones of the event by using verbs with powerful visuals, and the reader’s mind will fill in the rest.

I suggest you open a new document and describe the disaster in great detail. Then save it as background material for that story and walk away from it. Let it rest, and move on to something else. When you return to it, read it aloud and see what you can cut and condense and still have the bones of the action. As always, verbs and power words are action’s best friend.

Droughts often cause famines and worse. To go without water is to die. Thirst is a more immediate pain than hunger. The human animal can survive for up to three weeks without food but only three to four days without water. Rarely, one might survive up to a week.

Even brackish water must taste sweet when one suffers from a lack of potable water. And when one is starving, foods they would consider repugnant under other circumstances will fill their belly.

Look at the continual strife in some third-world countries. You will see how long-term droughts have precipitated widespread famine, leading to civil unrest. Gang wars are fought over the right to own a water source, and these conflicts can erupt into revolution.

We often forget this when we have plenty to eat and never have to worry about whether we will have water in our faucet as long as we can pay the bills. However, if we learned anything from the empty grocery store shelves in 2020 and the subsequent supply chain crisis, it is that our well-fed lives are standing on a one-legged stool.

Once the events of the disaster are on paper the way we want them, we have the opportunity to ratchet up the reader’s emotions by the way we portray the aftermath. Who finds strength through the calamity, and who is broken by it? What roadblocks do they face, and how do they recover?

We must complete the story and provide the reader with some closure by ending with our characters in a place of comparative happiness and security.

Drama, heartache, disaster, and violence are the backdrop against which humanity’s story plays out. The most powerful books in the Western Canon of Great Literature explore both the good and evil of the human experience.

We connect with these stories across the centuries because the fundamental concerns of human life aren’t unique to one society, one technological era, or one point in time. We all want enough food, enough water, and reliable shelter.

When we contrast ease with hardship, we add emotional texture to our narrative. I love a good story featuring courage in the face of personal disasters. Readers like me will think about the story and those characters long after it has ended.

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June 13, 2025 · 6:00 am

#FineArtFriday:The Oude Kerk on the Oude Delft in Delft by Jan van der Heyden 1675

Artist: Jan van der Heyden (1637–1712)

Title: The Oude Kerk on the Oude Delft in Delft

Genre: landscape painting

Date: 1675

Medium: oil on panel

Dimensions: height: 45 cm (17.7 in); width: 57 cm (22.4 in)

Collection: National Museum of Art, Architecture and Design

What I love about this painting:

This scene shows us a fine day in the city of Delft, on the Trekvliet, a shipping canal that has existed since the 13th century. This canal flows past the foundations of the Oude Kerk. Van der Heyden has painted the tower as leaning, which is an accurate depiction. It currently leans two meters from the vertical.

We see the clean and prosperous street, with special attention paid to the architecture. The staffage (people) in this painting were most likely painted by Adriaen van de Velde. He collaborated with Adriaen van de Velde more frequently than Johannes Lingelbach or Eglon van der Neer, although they did sometimes work with him.

Fluffy white clouds sail across the scene. The air is not too warm or too cool. Instead, it is just right. The sky is that lovely shade of blue, the color that says “summer is near and all will be well.”

As a writer of fantasy, I often go to Wikimedia Commons for worldbuilding ideas, depending on the kind of era in which a story is set. If your work is set in a post-renaissance era, this is the kind of street and architecture that will be featured in the richest town. The buildings will be good to look at, made of stone and wood. The street will be paved, and if there is a canal, there will be places for barges and small watercraft to tie up.

About the artist, via Wikipedia:

Jan van der Heyden (5 March 1637, Gorinchem – 28 March 1712, Amsterdam) was a Dutch Baroque-era painter, glass painter, draughtsman and printmaker. Van der Heyden was one of the first Dutch painters to specialize in townscapes and became one of the leading architectural painters of the Dutch Golden Age. He painted a number of still lifes in the beginning and at the end of his career. 

Jan van der Heyden was also an engineer and inventor who made significant contributions to contemporary firefighting technology. Together with his brother Nicolaes, who was a hydraulic engineer, he invented an improvement of the fire hose in 1672.  He modified the manual fire engine, reorganized the volunteer fire brigade (1685) and wrote and illustrated the first firefighting manual (Brandspuiten-boek). A comprehensive street lighting scheme for Amsterdam, designed and implemented by van der Heyden, remained in operation from 1669 until 1840 and was adopted as a model by many other towns and abroad.

Painting was not the sole occupation and interest of van der Heyden. In fact he never joined Amsterdam’s painters’ guild. Even while his work was in great demand, he did not rely on his art to make a living. His principal source of income was, in fact, not painting. Rather he was employed as engineer, inventor and municipal official. He was clearly greatly preoccupied with the problem of how to fight fires effectively, and, with his brother Nicolaes, devoted much time between 1668 and 1671 to inventing a new, highly successful water pumping mechanism.

He devised streetlamps and the first street-lighting system for Amsterdam and was in 1669 appointed director of street lighting.

In 1673 the two brothers received official appointments to manage the city’s fire-fighting equipment and organisation. The two official appointments were sufficient to ensure the prosperity of the artist

Jan van der Heyden moved in 1680 to the Koestraat near the St. Anthonismarkt. Here he built a new family home and a factory for producing fire equipment. In collaboration with his eldest son Jan, he published in 1690 an illustrated book on firefighting, entitled ‘Beschrijving der nieuwlijks uitgevonden en geoctrojeerde Slangbrandspuiten’ (‘Description of the recently invented and patented hose fire engines’).

Jan van der Heyden died a wealthy man in 1712. His wife survived her husband by only a month. The inventory of the estate made soon after her death include more than 70 of his own paintings. [1]

Credits and Attributions:

IMAGE: Wikimedia Commons contributors, “File:Jan van der Heyden – The Oude Kerk on the Oude Delft in Delft.jpg,” Wikimedia Commons, https://commons.wikimedia.org/w/index.php?title=File:Jan_van_der_Heyden_-_The_Oude_Kerk_on_the_Oude_Delft_in_Delft.jpg&oldid=1035884888 (accessed June 12, 2025).

[1] Wikipedia contributors, “Jan van der Heyden,” Wikipedia, The Free Encyclopedia, https://en.wikipedia.org/w/index.php?title=Jan_van_der_Heyden&oldid=1293390184 (accessed June 12, 2025).

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June 9, 2025 · 6:00 am

Beta Reading or Editing? What is the difference? #writing

Last week, we talked about self-editing a manuscript. I shared the process I use to get my work ready for my editor. Even though I go to all that trouble, Irene still finds many places that need attention.

But why isn’t simply following the suggestions raised by beta readers enough? Why go to the trouble of the process as I described it last week AND still have it professionally edited?

First, we need to talk about apples and oranges. Both are fruit and yet they are very different from each other. Beta reading and editing are apples and oranges.

Beta reading is the first look at a manuscript by someone other than the author. I always look for a person who reads for pleasure and can express their thoughts about a story or novel. That person must read and enjoy the genre of that particular story. If they dislike sci-fi, they won’t have good insights to offer about your space opera.

I am fortunate to have excellent friends willing to do this for me. Last week, I received a short story back from two kind friends. Both had good insights as to why I have been unable to sell that story. Stephen and Ceri both provided me with thoughtful and spot-on suggestions.

The first reading by an unbiased eye gives me a view of my story’s overall strengths and weaknesses. The suggestions offered by my circle of friends enable me to make good revisions. My editor can focus on doing her job without being distracted by glaring issues that should have been caught early on.

If you agree to read a raw manuscript for another author, remember that it has NOT been edited.

  • You are reading a first draft. Beta reading is not editing, so don’t overanalyze it. A thousand nit-picky comments at this early stage are not helpful because they clutter things up, obscuring the larger issues.

This manuscript is the child of the author’s soul. Phrase your comments positively, and never be abrupt or accusatory. As a beta reader, you are reading an unfinished project. You are trying to help an author take their manuscript in the direction that they have envisioned.

Why should a beta reader not simply shoot from the hip? I’ve heard some authors say “so-and-so needs to clean things up. He needs to develop a thicker skin,” etc. etc.

That is true, but an author’s ability to make good use of criticism develops gradually as they go out into the professional world.

Kindly worded criticism will help the author and won’t destroy their enjoyment of writing. But harsh criticism shows a lack of understanding on the part of the beta reader. It can generate resentment and a refusal to listen. The traumatized author might never advance beyond the beginning stage.

So, what significant issues must be addressed in the first stage of the revision process? If you are asked to beta read for a fellow author, ask yourself these questions about the overall manuscript:

How does it open? Did the opening hook you? As you read, is there an arc to each scene that keeps you turning the page? Note the page numbers of the places that are confusing.

Setting: Does the setting feel real? Did the author create a sense of time, mood, and atmosphere? Is world-building an organic part of the story?

Characters: Did you understand who the point-of-view character was? Did you know what they were feeling? Were they likable? Did you identify with and care about them? Were there various character types, or did they all seem the same? Were their emotions and motivations clear and relatable?

Dialogue: Did the dialogue and internal narratives advance the plot, or were they opportunities for info dumps? Did the dialogues illuminate the conflict? Did they heighten the tension and add to the suspense? Were the conversations and thoughts distinct to each character, or did they all sound alike?

Plot: Do the characters face a struggle worth writing about? Does the action feel necessary to advance the story? Do the events feel logical, and were you able to suspend your disbelief?

Pacing: How did the momentum feel? Where did the plot bog down and get boring? Did the pacing keep you engaged?

Does the ending surprise and satisfy you? What do you think might happen next?

What about grammar and mechanics? At this point, you can make broad comments regarding grammar and industry practices.  If the author’s work shows they don’t understand basic punctuation standards, suggest they look online for some free and easy articles on grammar. I highly recommend the Purdue OWL® – Purdue OWL® – Purdue University.

Or, if you feel up to it, offer to help them learn a few basics.

Most people have no idea just how difficult sharing your just-completed first draft with anyone is. For that reason, being the first reader of another author’s work is a privilege I don’t take lightly.

Now, we know that the beta reader makes general suggestions to help the author achieve their goals in the second draft.

So, what is editing?

Editing is a process that occurs in the final stage of revision.

The author has completed the manuscript, and it is as clean as they can get it. An editor hasn’t seen the manuscript before. They go over it line by line, pointing out areas that need attention.

  • awkward phrasings,
  • grammatical errors
  • missing quotation marks. etc.

Many things may still need correcting. Sometimes, major structural issues will need to be addressed to improve the pacing. Straightening out all the kinks may take more than one trip through a manuscript.

The various branches of literature have requirements that are unique to them, so there are different kinds of editing.

For academic writing, editing involves carefully reviewing each sentence. Every grammatical error must be resolved, making words and sentences more straightforward, precise, and effective. Weak phrasings are strengthened, nonessential information is weeded out, and important points are clarified.

For novel writing, editing is a stage in which a writer and editor work together to improve a draft by ensuring style and grammatical usage are consistent. The editor does not try to change an author’s voice but does point out errors. If an author’s style breaks convention, the editor ensures that convention is broken consistently from page one to the end of the manuscript. At the same time, strict attention is paid to the overall story arc.

Editors know they are not the author. They will make suggestions, but ultimately, all changes must be approved and implemented by the author.

When you have made the revisions your first reader suggested and feel your book is ready, hire a local, well-recommended editor. You need someone you can work with, a person who wants to help you make your manuscript ready for publication.

You might wonder why you need an editor when you’ve already spent months fine-tuning it. The fact is, no matter how many times we go over our work, our eyes will skip over some things. We are too familiar with our work and see it as it should be, not as it is.

When a reader purchases your book, they won’t be familiar with it. Many readers are savvy and notice what we have overlooked.

On Friday of last week, I received my most recent work-in-progress back from Irene. She combed through all 100,000 words and left me with a treasure trove of suggestions.

Yes, I am an editor, but I can’t identify what is wrong with my own work. My eye wants to skip the less obvious flaws. However, another person will notice and point out what is wrong.

So, between my above-mentioned short story and my forthcoming novel, I have some work ahead of me. But thanks to Stephen, Ceri, and Irene, I now know what needs to be done.

Best of all, it’s the kind of work I love.

Whether we write novels or short stories, we need to have an unbiased eye review it before submitting it to an agent or publication. It’s due diligence, part of the professional process.

 

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June 6, 2025 · 6:00 am

FineArtFriday: Laundry at the River Bank by Eero Järnefelt 1889

Artist: Eero (1863–1937)

Title:   English: Laundry at the River Bank (Suomi: Pyykkiranta)

Date:   1889

Medium:        oil on canvas

Dimensions:   height: 104 cm(40.9 in) width: 134 cm (52.7 in)

Collection:     Private collection

What I love about this painting:

When writers need to know how things were done historically, Wikimedia Commons is a vast resource of paintings and images made during all stages of recorded history.

This is a scene featuring two women on a sunny afternoon in the far north—Finland. They are spending the overcast summer’s day doing the distinctly not-so-glorious task of laundry. Very few artists painted scenes of women at work. So, those of us with modern conveniences have no real idea how labor-intensive women’s work was.

It was hot, heavy work. One had to carry and heat all the water, and once the clothes were washed, they had to be wrung out by hand unless one was fortunate enough to own a wringer/mangle. (Where I live, it’s called a wringer. Elsewhere in the world, it’s a mangle.) Then, it had to be hung on a line or spread out somewhere to dry.

And once the clothes were dry, they had to be ironed. This solid, heavy iron tool was heated on the stove and if one got it a bit too hot it could scorch the clothes. Not hot enough and it wouldn’t smooth away the wrinkles.

Thus, laundry was an all-day job.

Soaps were most often made of animal fats and lye (ashes steeped in water), along with other ingredients to improve the smell. This lye soap was harsh but effective.

In this scene, one woman keeps the water hot, adding wood to the fire. A bucket and ladle sit on the rocks behind her, handy for fetching more water and adding it to the boiler as needed. Certain items of clothing are most likely soaking in the boiling water. Whites were usually boiled.

While the peasants of the time didn’t know about germs, they did know that boiling water made things cleaner and that cleanliness made their families healthier.

My grandmother was born in 1909 in a rural cabin on the Olympic Peninsula of Washington State. She often pointed out how lucky I was because, prior to getting her first wringer washing machine in 1929, she had to do laundry the hard way. She boiled diapers, Grampa’s shirts, and “women’s things.” In the era before disposable bandages, material intended for use as bandages would also be boiled for at least an hour.

Peasant women were unaware of solar radiation and ultraviolet light. But they did know that diapers dried in the summer sun were less likely to cause a rash than those dried indoors in the winter.

Clearly, Järnefelt knew the amount of work it took to produce a clean shirt and respected the women who made his life easier.

About the artist, via Wikipedia:

Erik “Eero” Nikolai Järnefelt (8 November 1863 – 15 November 1937) was a Finnish painter and art professor. He is best known for his portraits and landscapes of the area around Koli National Park, in the North Karelia region of Finland. He was a medal winner at the Paris Exposition Universelle of 1889 and 1900, taught art at the University of Helsinki and was chairman of the Finnish Academy of Fine Arts.

To read more about the artist go to: Eero Järnefelt – Wikipedia

Credits and Attributions:

IMAGE: Laundry at the River Bank. Wikimedia Commons contributors, “File:Järnefelt Laundry.jpg,” Wikimedia Commons, https://commons.wikimedia.org/w/index.php?title=File:J%C3%A4rnefelt_Laundry.jpg&oldid=866950564 (accessed June 5, 2025).

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June 2, 2025 · 6:00 am

Self-editing – a 3-step process #writing

Many people in my online community have asked for tips on self-editing. I don’t recommend it, as most people don’t have the tenacity to do a proper job of it. However, it can be done, so we’re revisiting a post from April of 2024 on effective self-editing. I hope this answers some questions!

As an editor, I saw every kind of mistake you can imagine, and before that, as a writer, I made them all. This is why I rely on an editor for my work. Irene sees the flaws that my eye skips over.

WritingCraft_self-editingWhen prepping a novel to send to Irene, I use a three-part method. This requires specific tools that come with Microsoft Word, my word-processing program. I believe these tools are available for Google Docs and every other word-processing program. Unfortunately, I am only familiar with Microsoft’s products as they are what the companies that I worked for used.

What follows are three steps that should eliminate most problems in a manuscript.

Part one: Beta Reading is the first look at a manuscript by someone other than the author. I suggest you don’t omit this step unless you can find no one who understands what you need. A good beta reader is a person who reads for pleasure and can gently express what they think about a story or novel. Also, look for a person who enjoys the genre of that particular story. Your beta reader should ask several questions of this first draft (feel free to give them the following list).

beta read meme 2Part two: Once I have ironed out the rough spots noticed by my beta readers, this second stage is put into action. Yes, on the surface the manuscript looks finished, but it has only just begun the journey.

In Microsoft Word, on the Review Tab, I access the Read Aloud function and begin reading along with the mechanical voice. Yes, the narrator app is annoying and mispronounces words like “read,” which sound different and have different meanings depending on the context. However, this first tool alerts me to areas that were overlooked in the first stage of revisions.

ReviewTabLIRF07032021The most frustrating part is the continual stopping, making corrections, and starting.

I use this function rather than reading it aloud from the monitor, as the computer screen tricks the eye. I tend to see and read aloud what I think should be there rather than what is.

  • I habitually key the word though when I mean through or lighting when I mean lightning. Each is a different word but is only one letter apart. Most (but not all) miss keyed words will leap out when you hear them read aloud.
  • Most (but not all) run-on sentences stand out when you hear them read aloud.
  • Most (but not all) inadvertent repetitions also stand out.
  • Most of the time, hokey phrasing doesn’t sound as good as you thought it was.
  • Most of the time, you hear where you have dropped words because you were keying so fast you skipped over including an article, like “the” or “a” before a noun.

This is a long process that involves a lot of stopping and starting. It takes me well over a week to get through an entire 90,000-word manuscript. I will have trimmed about 3,000 words by the end of this phase. I will have caught many typos and miss keyed words and rewritten many clumsy passages.

But I am not done.

Part three: the manual edit. This is where I make a physical copy and do the work the old-fashioned way.

Everything looks different when printed out, and you will see many things you don’t notice on the computer screen or hear when it is read aloud by the narrator app.

  • Houghton_Typ_805.94.8320_-_Pride_and_Prejudice,_1894,_Hugh_Thomson_-_Protested

    Illustration by Hugh Thomson representing Mr. Collins protesting that he never reads novels.

    Open your manuscript. Make sure the pages are numbered in the upper right-hand corner.

  • Print out the first chapter and either staple it together or use a binder clip. If you drop it, the pages will all be together in the proper order.
  • Turn to the last page. Cover the page with another sheet of paper, leaving only the final paragraph visible.
  • Starting with the final paragraph on the last page, begin reading, working your way forward.
  • With a yellow highlighter, mark each place that needs revising.
  • With a red pen/pencil, make notes in the margins to guide the revisions. (Red is highly visible, so you won’t miss it when you are putting your corrections into the digital manuscript.
  • Put the corrected chapter on a recipe stand next to your computer. Open your manuscript and save it as a new file. (ManuscriptTitle_final_Apr2024.docx.) Begin making the revisions as noted on your hard copy.
  • Do the same for each chapter until you have finished revising the entire manuscript.

I look for info dumps, passive phrasing, and timid words. They are signs that a section needs rewriting to make it visual rather than telling. Clunky phrasing and info dumps are signals telling me what I intend that scene to be but haven’t shown. Showing takes fewer words. Many times, I must cut some of the info and allow the reader to use their imagination.

I will have trimmed another 3,000 to 4,000 more words from my manuscript by the end of this process.

By the time we begin writing, most of us have forgotten whatever grammar we once knew. Editing software is a good tool for this. But editing software operates on algorithms and doesn’t understand context.

to err is human to edit divineI am wary of relying on Grammarly or ProWriting Aid for anything other than alerting you to possible problems. Look at each thing they point out and decide whether to accept their recommendation or not. 

You’ll get into trouble if you assume the AI editing programs are always correct. As I said above, they don’t understand context. Good writing involves technical knowledge of grammar, but voice isn’t about algorithms.

Novels are comprised of many essential components. If one element fails, the story won’t work the way I envision it. I always remember that it’s been months since a beta reader saw the mess I am working on and much has changed. I take a hard look at these aspects:

  • Characterization – are the characters individuals?
  • Dialogue – do people sound natural? Do they sound alike, or are they each unique?
  • Mechanics (grammar/punctuation flaws will be more noticeable when printed out)
  • Pacing—how does it transition from action scene to action scene?
  • Plot – does the story revolve around a genuine problem?
  • Prose – how do my sentences flow? Do they say what I mean?
  • Themes – What underlying thread ties the whole story together? Have I used the theme to its best potential?

Being a linear thinker, this process of making revisions works for me. It can take more than a month, but when I’ve finished, I’ll have a manuscript that won’t be full of avoidable distractions. It will be something I can send to my editor. And because I have done my best work, Irene will be able to focus on finding as much of what I have missed as is humanly possible.

Editors_bookself_25May2018If you read as much as I do (and this includes books published by large Traditional publishers), you know that a few mistakes and typos can and will get through despite their careful editing. So, don’t agonize over what you might have missed. If you’re an indie, you can upload a corrected file.

We are all only human, after all.

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May 30, 2025 · 12:34 pm

#FineArtFriday: Albert Bierstadt, The Rocky Mountains, Landers Peak 1860, revisited

When I sit down to write, my work is usually fiction. Even so, I want my work to have authenticity, although I might never have experienced what I am writing about. Whether a piece is set in an alternate world, or in this one, or if it is in the past, present, or future, a source of visual information you can use to fire your imagination exists on the internet–Wikimedia Commons.

For example, today’s image is a landscape painting by Albert Bierstadt, an American painter best known for his lavish, sweeping landscapes of the American West.  This painting shows what tribal life after a successful hunt might be like, and if you are writing about any group of people who hunt or gather food, this particular painting contain a wealth of historically accurate visual information. He painted what he saw. In all of Bierstadt’s work, you will find a world that existed 150 years ago, complete with children playing and dogs barking.

Wikipedia has this to say about the painter:

Born in Germany, Bierstadt was brought to the United States at the age of one by his parents. He later returned to study painting for several years in Düsseldorf. He became part of the Hudson River School in New York, an informal group of like-minded painters who started painting along the Hudson River. Their style was based on carefully detailed paintings with romantic, almost glowing lighting, sometimes called luminism. An important interpreter of the western landscape, Bierstadt, along with Thomas Moran, is also grouped with the Rocky Mountain School.

The life of the American West of the 19th century can be directly translated into a science fiction novel, or a fantasy novel–because the elements of hunting and gathering remain the same no matter what world you set it in. A great many people were involved in taking down a few animals–two antelope, one mountain sheep, and one bear. Hunts of this nature, even with modern weapons, are difficult and fraught with danger. For this reason, the take from this hunt will supply the entire camp of perhaps 100 people for one or two weeks., so foraging for roots, berries, and greens was an important task, as was fishing.

In this painting, you see how the tribe’s homes were constructed, and how the camp was laid out–the butchering party is well away from the rest of the camp, which is on the banks of a river. Everything that was important to the lives of these people is laid out in detail, exactly how it was the day the artist set up his easel in the wilderness and began painting.

Go to history for your world building, and go to art for your history. Don’t be afraid to ‘waste time’ looking at paintings and examining them for minute details, because your imagination will run with it, and your work will have a sense of realism.

Wikipedia contributors, “Albert Bierstadt,” Wikipedia, The Free Encyclopedia, https://en.wikipedia.org/w/index.php?title=Albert_Bierstadt&oldid=793302910 (accessed August 11, 2017).

The Rocky Mountains, Landers Peak; Albert Bierstadt 1863 [Public domain], via Wikimedia Commons, https://commons.wikimedia.org/wiki/File%3AAlbert_Bierstadt_-_The_Rocky_Mountains%2C_Lander’s_Peak.jpg, accessed August-11-2017.

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May 26, 2025 · 6:00 am

Self-editing part one – 7 easy-to-remember rules of punctuation #writing

Many authors are just starting out in the craft and have never written anything longer than a memo or a social-media post before the novel they just finished. Once their manuscript is revised to their satisfaction, they might try to self-edit it rather than hire a freelance editor.

This can work if they took writing courses or had an education that included creative writing.

But I don’t recommend it. We see what we believe is there, not what is there.

A majority of new writers haven’t written since they left school. They don’t remember how to write a readable sentence or what a paragraph should (or should not) contain.

I certainly didn’t retain those skills. However, while I couldn’t afford to go back to college, I did go out of my way to educate myself.

First, we must think of punctuation as the traffic signal that keeps the words flowing and the intersections manageable.

Trying to learn from a grammar manual is daunting, to say the least. I learned by looking things up in the Chicago Manual of Style (CMoS), which is the rule book for American English, and from working with my editor. Most editors in the large traditional publishing houses refer to the CMoS when they have questions.

I use Bryan A. Garner’s “the Chicago Guide to Grammar, Usage, and Punctuation.”

Maybe (like me) you came up in the world of business before the computer revolution. If so, you may be familiar with several other grammar style guides. Each is tailored to a particular kind of writing:

  • The AP manual is for journalism.
  • The Gregg manual for business writing.
  • The CMoS is specifically for creative writing, such as fiction, memoirs, and personal essays, but also includes business and journalism rules.

You don’t need to know everything in the CMoS. If you know the fundamentals and are consistent with how you use them, your writing will pass most tests.

Punctuation appears complicated when one is new to it. This confusion occurs because some advanced usages are open to interpretation. The way you habitually use them is your voice.

One thing remains clear: the foundational laws of comma use are not open to interpretation.

If you consistently follow seven simple rules, your work will look professional.

Rule one: commas and the fundamental rules for their use exist for a reason. If we want the reading public to understand our work, we need to follow them. Let’s get the “don’ts” out of the way:

  • DO NOT insert commas “where you take a breath” because that many commas are unnecessary, and the habit creates run-on sentences.
  • DO NOT insert commas where you think a sentence should pause because every reader sees the pauses differently.

Rule two: Commas can join two independent but related clauses with the aid of a conjunction. (I repeat: independent but related with the help of a conjunction.)

The independent clause is a complete standalone sentence.

  • Boris worships the ground I walk on. His adoration tires me. (Two sentences.)
  • Boris worships the ground I walk on, but his adoration tires me. (One sentence.)

Dependent clauses are unfinished and can’t stand on their own. Join them in the sentence with a conjunction and omit the comma this way:

  • Boris worships the ground I walk on and brings me margaritas by the pool. (And is a conjunction, a joining word.)

You do not join unrelated independent clauses (clauses that can stand alone as separate sentences) with commas as that creates a rift in the space/time continuum: the Comma Splice.

  • Boris kissed the hem of my garment, Woofer, my dog, likes to ride shotgun.

What we have there is a wandering, run-on sentence created by the casual use of the comma splice. The dog has little to do with Boris other than the fact they both worship me. They should not be in the same paragraph, much less the same sentence. Here is the same thought, written correctly:

Boris kissed the hem of my garment.

Woofer, my dog, likes to ride shotgun.

  • The dog riding shotgun is an independent clause and does not relate at all to Boris and his adoration of me. It is a different idea and should be in a separate paragraph. If you want Boris and the dog in the same sentence, you must rewrite it:

Boris and Woofer worship me and fight for the right to ride shotgun.

Rule three: a semicolon in an untrained hand is a dangerous thing. Some people (including Microsoft Word) think a semicolon signifies an extra-long pause but not a hard ending. The Chicago Manual of Style says that belief is wrong. Don’t blindly accept what Spellcheck or the AI editor app tells you!

So, when do we use them? We only use them when two clauses are short, complete sentences that relate to each other. Here are two brief sentences that would be too choppy if left separate.

  • The door swung open at a touch. Light spilled into the room. (2 related short standalone sentences.)
  • The door swung open at a touch; light spilled into the room. (2 related short sentences joined by a semicolon.)
  • The door swung open at a touch, and light spilled into the room. (1 compound sentence made from 2 related standalone clauses joined by a comma and a conjunction.) (A connector word.)

All three of the above sentences are technically correct. The usage you habitually choose is your voice.

I don’t hate semicolons, although some editors do. However, I generally look for alternatives to them.

Rule four: Colons. These tidbits of punctuation commonly head lists found in technical writing. Colons are rarely needed in narrative prose. In technical writing, you might say something like:

For the next step, you will need:

  1. four nails,
  2. two feet of rope,
  3. one banana, whole and unpeeled.

I have no idea what they are building, but I can’t wait to see it.

Rule five:  Oxford commas, also known as serial commas. This is the one war authors will never win or find common ground, a true civil war.

When listing a string of things in a narrative, we separate them with commas to prevent confusion. I like people to understand what I mean, so I always use the Oxford Comma/Serial Comma.

If there are only two things in a list, they do not need to be separated by a comma. If there are more than two items, separate them with a comma.

We sell dogs, cats, rabbits, and birds.

Why do we need clarity? You might know what you mean, but not everyone thinks the same way.

  • I accept this award and thank my late parents, Tad Williams and Poseidon.

That sentence might make sense to some readers, but not all. The intention of it is to thank my late parents, my favorite author, and the god of the sea. If I don’t thank Poseidon, my next fishing trip could end badly.

  • I accept this award and thank my late parents, Tad Williams, and Poseidon.

Regardless of which stance you take on the Oxford/serial comma, choose your poison and be consistent.

Rule six: We use commas after introductory clauses.

After dark, Boris changes into his bat form and goes hunting for enchiladas.

Rule seven: When writing dialogue, all punctuation goes inside the quotation marks.

  1. A comma follows the spoken words, separating the dialogue from the speech tag.
  2. The clause containing the dialogue is enclosed, punctuation and all, within quotes.
  3. The speech tag is the second half of the sentence, and a period ends the entire sentence.

The editor said, “I agree with those statements.”

  1. When dialogue is split by the speech tag, do not capitalize the first word in the second half.

“I agree with those statements,” said the editor, “but I wish you’d stop repeating yourself.”

If you follow these seven simple rules, your work will be readable. If your story is as original as you think it is, it will be acceptable to acquisitions editors.

Next week, we will continue our look at effective self-editing.

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May 23, 2025 · 6:00 am

#FineArtFriday – “The Breakwater” or “Storm off a Sea Coast” by Jacob van Ruisdael ca. 1670

Artist: Jacob van Ruisdael (1628/1629–1682)

Titles: The Breakwater (current title)

Also known as: Storm off a Sea Coast

Also known as: Ships in Stormy Weather off the Coast

Also known as: A Storm at Sea Off the Dykes of Holland

Genre: marine art

Date: between 1670 and 1672

Medium: oil on canvas

Dimensions: height: 110 cm (43.3 in); width: 160 cm (62.9 in)

Collection: Louvre Museum

What I love about this painting:

Jacob van Ruisdael shows us a wild day down at the port. Several cargo ships are attempting to dock before the full force of the storm descends upon them. He shows us the action, the motion of the clouds flying across the sky above, and the roiling sea below. A shaft of light illuminates the white foam of the churning waves.

Will the ships’ captains and crews manage to get their vessels into the harbor and safely berthed? Will some be dashed against the rocks or tossed up onto the seawall?

Van Ruisdael paints us a story, but we must imagine the ending for ourselves.

 

About this painting via Wikipedia:

Storm Off a Sea Coast, also known as The Breakwater, is a 1670 oil on canvas painting by the Dutch Golden Age painter Jacob van Ruisdael. It is in the collection of the Louvre in Paris.

The painting is called A Storm at Sea Off the Dykes of Holland in the 1911 catalogue raisonné compiled by Cornelis Hofstede de Groot, in which it is catalogue number 961. De Groot described the scene: “On the right is a dyke lined with piles, beyond which is a fisherman’s cottage with a few trees. On the left corner of the dyke, great waves are breaking. Farther back rise the masts of several large vessels, as well as the stern with a Dutch flag.” The painting is called Storm Off a Sea Coast in Slive’s 2001 catalogue raisonné of van Ruisdael, in which it is given catalogue number 653.

In the 19th century, Vincent van Gogh called this painting by van Ruisdael, along with The Bush and Ray of Light, “magnificent”. The Louvre has in French: “L’Estacade ou Gros temps sur une digue de Hollande, dit aussi Une tempête” (the Jetty or Stormy Weather on a Dike in Holland, also known as A Storm). Its inventory number is INV. 1818. Its dimensions are 110 cm x 160 cm. [1]

About the artist, via Wikipedia:

Jacob Isaackszoon van Ruisdael c. 1629 – 10 March 1682) was a Dutch painter, draughtsman, and etcher. He is generally considered the pre-eminent landscape painter of the Dutch Golden Age, a period of great wealth and cultural achievement when Dutch painting became highly popular.

Prolific and versatile, Ruisdael depicted a wide variety of landscape subjects. From 1646 he painted Dutch countryside scenes of remarkable quality for a young man. After a trip to Germany in 1650, his landscapes took on a more heroic character. In his late work, conducted when he lived and worked in Amsterdam, he added city panoramas and seascapes to his regular repertoire. In these, the sky often took up two-thirds of the canvas. In total he produced more than 150 Scandinavian views featuring waterfalls.

Ruisdael’s only registered pupil was Meindert Hobbema, one of several artists who painted figures in his landscapes. Hobbema’s work has at times been confused with Ruisdael’s. Ruisdael always spelt his name thus: Ruisdael, not Ruysdael.

Ruisdael’s work was in demand in the Dutch Republic during his lifetime. Today it is spread across private and institutional collections around the world; the National Gallery in London, the Rijksmuseum in Amsterdam, and the Hermitage Museum in St. Petersburg hold the largest collections. Ruisdael shaped landscape painting traditions worldwide, from the English Romantics to the Barbizon school in France, and the Hudson River School in the US, and influenced generations of Dutch landscape artists. [2]

Credits and Attributions:

IMAGE: The Breakwater, Wikipedia contributors, “Storm Off a Sea Coast,” Wikipedia, The Free Encyclopedia, https://en.wikipedia.org/w/index.php?title=Storm_Off_a_Sea_Coast&oldid=1252177345 (accessed May 22, 2025).

[1] Wikipedia contributors, “Storm Off a Sea Coast,” Wikipedia, The Free Encyclopedia, https://en.wikipedia.org/w/index.php?title=Storm_Off_a_Sea_Coast&oldid=1252177345 (accessed May 22, 2025).

[2] Wikipedia contributors, “Jacob van Ruisdael,” Wikipedia, The Free Encyclopedia, https://en.wikipedia.org/w/index.php?title=Jacob_van_Ruisdael&oldid=1290856128 (accessed May 22, 2025).

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