#FineArtFriday: ‘Falling Leaves,’ by Olga Wisinger-Florian, my favorite image of autumn

Falling Leaves, by Olga Wisinger-Florian, circa 1899, first appeared here in October of 2018 and again in autumn of 2022.  When I think of autumn, this painting always springs to mind. It captures the mood and atmosphere of a quiet day when the leaves are falling and the forest is settling in for a winter’s nap.

It is one of my favorite depictions of autumn. The scene could be happening here in my lovely Pacific Northwestern forests. The colors of the leaves, the dirt road–this is very like where I grew up.

The painting depicts a woman and her dog enjoying a quiet walk in the serenity of an autumn day. Using light and shadow, the artist employs an impressionistic style to convey the forest. Nothing is drawn with precision, yet everything is shown in its entirety. The feeling of this piece is a little dreamlike–she carries an umbrella, so she’s prepared for rain. She is dressed all in black except for her yellow hat. Leaves in all the many shades of green, gold, and red cling to their trees; the damp, aging rails of the wooden fence offers a flimsy barrier to the carriages and motor vehicles that may travel the roadside. Leaves cover the dirt road, and more are falling down, and the dog trots happily along beside her mistress—the story is there for us to see.

About the Artist via Wikipedia:

 Olga Wisinger-Florian’s early paintings can be assigned to what is known as Austrian Mood Impressionism. In her landscape paintings she adopted Schindler’s sublime approach to nature. The motifs she employed, such as views of tree-lined avenues, gardens and fields, were strongly reminiscent of her teacher’s work. After breaking with Schindler in 1884, however, the artist went her own way. Her conception of landscapes became more realistic. Her late work is notable for a lurid palette, with discernible overtones of Expressionism. With landscape and flower pictures that were already Expressionist in palette by the 1890s, she was years ahead of her time.


Credits and Attributions:

Falling Leaves, by Olga Wisinger-Florian, ca 1899 [Public domain], via Wikimedia Commons

Wikipedia contributors, “Olga Wisinger-Florian,” Wikipedia, The Free Encyclopedia, https://en.wikipedia.org/w/index.php?title=Olga_Wisinger-Florian&oldid=852607929 (accessed October 11, 2018).

Wikimedia Commons contributors, “File:Olga Wisinger-Florian – Falling Leaves.JPG,” Wikimedia Commons, the free media repository, https://commons.wikimedia.org/w/index.php?title=File:Olga_Wisinger-Florian_-_Falling_Leaves.JPG&oldid=273565541 (accessed October 11, 2018).

Comments Off on #FineArtFriday: ‘Falling Leaves,’ by Olga Wisinger-Florian, my favorite image of autumn

Filed under #FineArtFriday

What is “beta reading,” and how do I find a suitable reader? #writing

The month of September is drawing to a close, and we are winding up our dive into the second draft of a manuscript. We hope we have a perfect manuscript with no structural issues.

MyWritingLife2021BBut we know the work is just beginning. Now we need an unbiased eye looking at the structure, a beta reader.

Beta Reading is the first look at a manuscript by someone other than the author. It is the first reading of an early draft by an unbiased eye. Editing and proofreading happen further down the process, but this reading is critical.

This phase should guide the author in making revisions that make the story stronger. It’s best when the reader is a person who reads for pleasure and can gently express what they think about a story or novel.

I do suggest you find a person who enjoys the genre of that particular story. If you are asked to be a beta reader, you should know it is not a final draft. You should ask several questions as you read:

  1. My Coffee Cup © cjjasp 2013Setting: Does the setting feel real?
  2. Characters: Is the point of view character (protagonist) clear? Did you understand what they were feeling? Were they likable? Did you identify with and care about them? Were there various character types, or did they all seem the same? Were their emotions and motivations clear and relatable?
  3. Dialogue: Did the dialogue and internal narratives advance the plot?
  4. Events: did the inciting incident and subsequent roadblocks to success feel believable?
  5. Pacing: How did the momentum feel?
  6. Does the ending surprise and satisfy you? What do you think might happen next?

If you are asked to be a beta reader, you might be distracted by grammar and mechanics, and you might forget that the manuscript you’ve been asked to read is unedited.

  • I suggest you keep editorial comments broad, as a line edit is not what the author is looking for at this stage.

However, if the author really has no understanding of grammar and mechanics, you might gently direct them to an online grammar guide, such as The Chicago Manual of Style Online.

I am fortunate to have excellent friends in my writing group who are willing to read for me. Their suggestions are thoughtful and spot-on.

Let’s say that you have just joined a professional writers’ group. After attending a few meetings, you ask a member for feedback about your book or short story.

blphoto-Orange-ScissorsBe prepared for it to come back with some detailed critical observations, which may seem harsh. Any criticism of our life’s work feels unfair to an author who is new at this. And to be truthful, some authors never learn how to put aside their egos.

Some authors read the first three comments, decide the reader missed the point, and choose to ignore all the suggestions.

This is because the reader pointed out info dumps and long paragraphs the author thought were essential to the why and wherefore of things.

Maas_Emotional_Craft_of_FictionWorse, perhaps they were familiar with a featured component of the story, such as medicine or police procedures. The reader might have suggested we need to do more research and then rewrite what we thought was the perfect novel.

Even if it is worded kindly, criticism can make you feel like you have failed.

When I received my first critique, I was stunned, embarrassed, and deeply confused. I had worked and worked on that manuscript and why didn’t they know that?

Being the only one in a group who didn’t understand something made me angry, but thank heavens, my manners kicked in. I bottled it up and behaved myself.

Not understanding how to correct our bad writing habits is the core reason why we feel so hurt.

That critique was painful, but when I look back on it, I can clearly see why the manuscript was not acceptable in the state it was in.

I had no idea what a finished manuscript should look like, nor did I understand how to get it to look that way. I didn’t know where to begin or who to turn to for answers.

  • I didn’t understand how to write to a particular theme.
  • Punctuation and usage were inconsistent and showed I lacked an understanding of basic grammar rules.
  • I resented being told I used clichés.
  • I resented being told my prose was passive. But I couldn’t understand what they meant when they said to write active prose.

There was only one way to resolve this problem. I had to educate myself.

emotion-thesaurus-et-alI went out and bought books on the craft of writing, and I am still buying books on the craft today. I will never stop learning and improving.

Don’t ask a fellow member of a professional writers’ forum to read your work unless you want honest advice. Even if they don’t “get” your work, they will spend their precious time reading it, taking time from their writing to help you out, and that is priceless.

Finally, if you have offered your work to someone who is hypercritical about the small stuff and ignores the structural things you asked them to look at, don’t feel guilty for not asking them to read for you again.

Let it rest for a day or two. Then, look at their comments with a fresh eye and try to see why they made them.

activateLearning the craft of writing is like learning any other trade, from cooking to carpentry. It takes work and effort to become a master.

If you want to craft memorable work, you must own the proper tools for the job and learn how to use them. My “toolbox” contains:

  1. MS Word as my word-processing program. You may prefer a different program, but this is the one I use.
  2. Books on the craft. Self-education is critical. I refer back to The Chicago Manual of Style and numerous other books on the craft of writing whenever I am stuck. (See a short list of my favorites below.)
  3. I have trusted, knowledgeable beta-readers for my work and people who give me thoughtful feedback that I can use to make my final draft as good as I can get it.
  4. I work with a good, well-recommended freelance editor.
  5. Take free online writing classes.
  6. Attend conferences and seminars (not free, but worth the money).
  7. I meet with my weekly writing group.
  8. I read daily in ALL genres.

One day in 1990, I stumbled upon a book offered in the Science Fiction Book Club catalog: How to Write Science Fiction and Fantasy by Orson Scott Card. I’ve said this before, but the day that book arrived in my mailbox changed my life.

That was the day that I stopped feeling guilty for thinking I could be a writer.

The next book I bought was in 2002: On Writing, A Memoir of the Craft by Stephen King.

The following is the list of books that are the pillars of my reference library:

Negative feedback is a necessary part of growth. A good, honest critique can hurt if you are only expecting to hear about the brilliance of your work. This is where you have the chance to cross the invisible line between amateur and professional.

  • Editors_bookself_25May2018

3 Comments

Filed under writing

#FineArtFriday: revisiting Indian Summer by William Trost Richards 1875

Indian_Summer_MET_DT276257Title: Indian Summer by William Trost Richards

Genre: landscape art

Date: 1875

Medium: oil on canvas

Dimensions: 24 1/8 x 20 in. (61.3 x 50.8 cm)

Collection: Metropolitan Museum of Art

What I love about this painting:

Autumn is upon us once again. I was looking through the vault at Wikimedia Commons, and my eye kept being drawn to this painting by William Trost Richards. I featured this painting two years ago, and still love the feeling of “zen” that Trost Richards managed to instill into this scene.

He captured a singular moment of tranquility. A light breeze barely ruffles the surface of our pond. At the bottom right, two girls play beside a large boulder at the water’s edge.

Across the pond, in the center and nearly hidden in the shadows, a teamster and his oxen wade across the shallows.

Autumn’s haze lends a feeling of mystery to the scene, muting the reds, yellows, and oranges of leaves about to fall. This last burst of grandeur can’t hold back winter, though it tries. Soon, the forest will sleep, snow and ice will decorate barren limbs, and ice will stop the waters’ gentle motions.

But beneath the grasp of winter, new life will bide its time, and winter will fade into spring. The seasons will follow their course, but today is autumn’s day to shine, to go down in a blaze of golden glory.

A century ago, William Trost Richards painted a scene of peace and serenity, perfectly capturing it. He preserved the glory of the scenery, but more than that, he captured the mood and the atmosphere of a perfect autumn day. When we view this scene, we can sit back and admire the beauty of our world.

 >>><<<

About William Trost Richards via Wikipedia:

William Trost Richards (November 14, 1833 – November 8, 1905) was an American landscape artist. He was associated with both the Hudson River School and the American Pre-Raphaelite movement. [1]

In 1856, he married Anna Matlack Richards (1834–1900), a 19th-century American children’s author, poet and translator best known for her fantasy novel, A New Alice in the Old Wonderland. The couple had eight children, only five of whom lived past infancy. Anna educated the children at home to a pre-college level in the arts and sciences. [2]

One of the couple’s sons, Theodore William Richards, would later win the 1914 Nobel Prize in Chemistry. Anna Richards Brewster, their sixth child, went on to become an important painter in her own right, having received an early arts education from her father as well. [2]

Richards rejected the romanticized and stylized approach of other Hudson River painters and instead insisted on meticulous factual renderings. His views of the White Mountains are almost photographic in their realism. In later years, Richards painted almost exclusively marine watercolors. [1]


Credits and Attributions:

Indian Summer by William Trost Richards, Wikimedia Commons contributors, “File:Indian Summer MET DT276257.jpg,” Wikimedia Commons, the free media repository, https://commons.wikimedia.org/w/index.php?title=File:Indian_Summer_MET_DT276257.jpg&oldid=678817431 (accessed November 3, 2022). Public Domain.

[1] Wikipedia contributors, “William Trost Richards,” Wikipedia, The Free Encyclopedia, https://en.wikipedia.org/w/index.php?title=William_Trost_Richards&oldid=1089835304 (accessed November 3, 2022).

[2] Wikipedia contributors, “Anna Matlack Richards,” Wikipedia, The Free Encyclopedia, https://en.wikipedia.org/w/index.php?title=Anna_Matlack_Richards&oldid=1055684363 (accessed November 3, 2022).

4 Comments

Filed under #FineArtFriday, writing

The Second Draft: Logic, Objectives, and Circumstances #writing

We are still working on the second draft of our manuscript. We have searched for our code words and examined our character arcs for agency and consequences.

The Second Draft: Decoding My Mental Shorthand #writing

The Second Draft: agency and consequences #writing

MyWritingLife2021BToday, we’re looking at the arc of the plot.  This is a good opportunity to open a new document and answer a few questions about your story. The list of questions and their answers will inform you of the areas that need more work before you send the manuscript to a beta reader.

First, let’s take a second look at the overarching objective. This is the reason the story exists, and we made a stab at identifying it in the first draft. But now we want to make that problem clear.

  1. Is the quest worthy of a story? What does the hero need, and would they risk everything to acquire it?
  2. Have we shown how badly they want it and, most importantly, why they are so desperate for it?
  3. Why do they feel entitled to it?
  4. How far are they willing to go to acquire it?

Second, we examine the antagonist. Have we shown the opposition as clearly as we have the protagonist? The whole story hinges on whether or not our protagonist faces a real threat. A weak enemy is no threat at all, so

  1. VillainWho is the antagonist?
  2. Do they have a personality that shows them as rounded and multidimensional rather than as a two-dimensional cartoon villain?
  3. Do they change and evolve as a person throughout the story, for good or for evil? A character arc must encompass several stages of personal growth. What those stages are is up to you and depends on the story you are telling.
  4. What do they want?
  5. Why do they feel entitled to it?
  6. How far are they willing to go to get it?

Third, how convincing is the inciting incident? I learned this the hard way—long lead-ins don’t hook the reader. Long lead-ins offer too much opportunity for the inclusion of insidious info dumps.

  1. Whether we show it in the prologue or the opening chapter, the first event, the inciting incident, changes everything and launches the story. The universe that is our story begins expanding at that moment.
  2. The first incident has a domino effect. More events occur, pushing the protagonist out of his comfortable life and into danger. Fear of death, fear of loss, fear of financial disaster, fear of losing a loved one—terror is subjective and deeply personal.
  3. The threat and looming disaster must be made clear to the reader at the outset. Nebulous threats mean nothing in real life, although they cause a lot of subconscious stress.
  4. Those vague threats might be the harbinger of what is to come in a book, but they only work if the danger materializes quickly and the roadblocks to happiness soon become apparent.

Fourth, let’s look at logic and the pinch points. Pinch points (events that threaten the quest) are the cogs that keep the wheels of your story turning. How strong are the pinch points in this story?

  1. Was this failure the logical outcome of the characters’ decisions? Or does this event feel random, like spaghetti tossed at a wall to see what sticks?
  2. Does the first pinch point feel strong enough to hook a reader?

The internet says that pinch points frequently occur between moving objects or parts of a machine.

cogsConsider cogs: they are engineered to interlock with each other, and when they move close enough that one cog interlocks and turns another, they move other parts of the mechanism.

When a machine is powered by mechanical or electrical means, the places where the cogs meet other cogs or other parts of the machinery are the danger zones, the places where people can be injured or even killed.

So, our narrative is our machine, and the events (pinch points) are the cogs that move it along.

Logic is the oil that keeps our gears turning.

Fifth: midpoint: What are the circumstances in which we find each character at the midpoint?

From the midpoint to the final plot point, pacing is critical, and the reader must be able to see how the positive and negative consequences affect the emotions of ALL the characters. We must show their emotional and physical condition and the circumstances in which they now find themselves.

The antagonist will be pleased, perhaps elated.

The protagonist will be worried, perhaps depressed.

  1. Did we fully explore how the events emotionally destroy them?
  2. Did we shed enough light on how their personal weaknesses are responsible for the bad outcome?
  3. Did we show how this failure causes the protagonist to question everything they once believed in?
  4. Did we offer them hope? What did we offer them that gave them the courage to persevere and face the final battle?
  5. Finally, did we explore how this emotional death and rebirth event makes them stronger?

storyArcLIRF10032021Each hiccup on the road to glory must tear the heroes down. Events and failures must break them emotionally and physically so that in the book’s final quarter, they can be rebuilt, stronger, and ready to face the enemy on equal terms.

Why does the antagonist have the upper hand? What happens at the midpoint to change everything for the worse?

Sixth: we look closely at the last act, which is the final quarter of the story.

  1. At the ¾ point, your protagonist and antagonist should have gathered their resources and companions.
  2. Each should believe they are as ready to face each other as they can be under the circumstances.

The final pages of the story are the reader’s reward for sticking with it to that point.

  1. Did we hold the solution just out of reach for the first ¾ of the narrative? Did we lure the reader to stay with us by giving them the promise of a solution?
  2. Did we show clearly that every time our characters nearly resolved their situation, they didn’t, and things got worse?
  3. Did we bring the protagonist and antagonist together for a face-to-face meeting?
  4. Was that meeting an epic conflict that deserved to be included in that story?
  5. Did that meeting bring the story to a solid conclusion?
  6. How well did we choreograph that final meeting?

a storyboard is your friendConfrontations are chaotic. It’s our job to control that chaos and create a narrative with an ending that is as intense as our imaginations and logic can make it.

Once we have examined the plot arc and are satisfied with its outcome, we may think it’s ready for a beta reader.

But it might not be, as we still have a few steps to complete. The beta reader’s comments will inform how we approach our third draft, so we want the manuscript we give them to be as free of easily resolved bloopers and distractions as possible. That way they will be better able to see the strengths of the story as well as the weaknesses.

Next week, we’ll examine the next steps to making a manuscript ready for a trusted beta reader. I’ll also discuss how I find readers who can accept that my story still has flaws and who understand what I am asking them to look for.

Plot-exists-to-reveal-character

4 Comments

Filed under writing

#FineArtFriday: Undergrowth with Two Figures, Vincent van Gogh 1890, a second look

Vincent_van_Gogh_-_Undergrowth_with_Two_Figures_(F773)Artist: Vincent van Gogh (1853–1890)

Title: Undergrowth with Two Figures

Date: late June 1890

Medium: oil on canvas

Dimensions: height: 50 cm (19.6 in); width: 100.5 cm (39.5 in)

Collection: Cincinnati Art Museum

Two years ago, in April of 2022, I was privileged to attend an immersive exhibit of Vincent van Gogh’s life through his work. Viewers roamed freely inside an everchanging exhibit that flowed through many of his most famous works and zoomed in on bits one wouldn’t ordinarily notice.

I managed a few shots with my cell phone that offered some idea of what the exhibition was like, but sadly, the camera on that phone wasn’t the best. Here is the one that nearly shows what we experienced, a glimpse into van Gogh’s Starry Night:

Van Gogh immersive 1 connie j jasperson LIRF04072022

The exhibit was such a moving, emotional experience. It really brought you into touch with the man and his art. I became a Vincent van Gogh fangirl that day.

We were in, above, and surrounded by his work. The powerful soundtrack of classical music paired perfectly with the images, complementing them like fine wine does good food.

The link to what we saw at that exhibit is here: Van Gogh, The Immersive Experience.

What I love about Undergrowth with Two Figures:

This very late work was painted at the end of June 1890, a few weeks before Van Gogh’s death. It was one of several paintings in Auvers-sur-Oise, a commune on the northwestern outskirts of Paris, France. This was also the place where Vincent van Gogh died from injuries suffered in an attempted suicide.

This painting is one of several he made in the last weeks of his life using a double-square format. The double-square paintings were made on uncommonly large canvases, rectangular, twice as wide as they were tall. Vincent’s need to express his art couldn’t be contained on an ordinary canvas—he saw the world with a panoramic view.

One of the things I love about this painting is the use of violet and blue in the trunks of the poplars. They are tall, immense, like bars in a window framing the courting pair. The trees stand out against the black backdrop. They have power and are the soul of the painting, even more so than the flowers and undergrowth through which the couple walks.

I think it’s a wonderful composition, with strong brush strokes and deep, dark colors. He saw the beauty in life and painted it.

[1] About this painting, via Google Arts and Culture:

In a letter to his younger brother, Theo, dated June 30, 1890, van Gogh explained the structure and brilliant colors of “Undergrowth with Two Figures”: “The trunks of the violet poplars cross the landscape perpendicularly like columns,” adding “the depth of Sous Bois is blue, and under the big trunks the grass blooms with flowers in white, rose, yellow, and green.”

“Undergrowth with Two Figures” has a silvery tonality characteristic of van Gogh’s works from Auvers. His brushwork may be swift and visceral, his colors strong and biting, his emotion raw and visible, but the composition reveals no hint of psychological torment.

It is painted on a double square canvas, twice as wide as it is high. Van Gogh explored the artistic possibilities of this panoramic format in several of his last paintings. [1]


Credits and Attributions:

[1] Google Arts and Culture Contributors, Undergrowth with two Figures, Vincent van Gogh 1890, Accessed April 7, 2022.

Wikimedia Commons contributors, “File:Vincent van Gogh – Undergrowth with Two Figures (F773).jpg,” Wikimedia Commons, the free media repository, https://commons.wikimedia.org/w/index.php?title=File:Vincent_van_Gogh_-_Undergrowth_with_Two_Figures_(F773).jpg&oldid=618842665 (accessed April 8, 2022).

View of Vincent’s Starry Night, © 2022 Connie J. Jasperson, own work,

2 Comments

Filed under #FineArtFriday

The second draft: agency and consequences #writing

I plot my stories in advance, but once I begin writing, the characters sometimes take over. The plot veers far from what I had intended when I began writing it. Each time that happens, the code words we use to tell the story find their way into my manuscript, marking the places I need to revisit and rewrite to show the action. (See last week’s post, The Second Draft: Decoding My Mental Shorthand #writing | Life in the Realm of Fantasy (conniejjasperson.com).

WritingCraftSeriesAgencyLIRF01302022This happens because my characters have agency and sometimes run amok. Thus, in the second draft, I examine the freedom I give my characters to introduce their own actions and reactions within the story.

Usually, the ending remains the same as proposed, no matter what the characters do. However, the path to that place can diverge, making the middle quite different from what was initially intended.

This is called giving your characters “agency.” Agency is an integral aspect of the creative process. It allows the written characters to become real, the way Pinocchio wanted to be a real boy and not a puppet.

I want their uniqueness to remain central to the story, even when their motives and actions diverge from the original plot outline.

In literary terms, “agency” is the ability of a character to surprise the author and, ultimately, the reader. If you plan every action and response when you are writing them, the experience of writing might feel canned and boring.

Plotting, for me, means setting out an arc of events for a story that I hope to write. I do this in advance, creating it in the form of a list in a new Excel workbook that is the bible for that universe. My outline workbook will contain several spreadsheets. On one page, I create the characters and give them personality traits. On another, I list the order of events that I think will form the arc of the story. Another page will have a glossary of words and names that are unique to that story. There will be maps and calendars to help keep things logical.

tabs of a stylesheet

Some authors use whiteboards and sticky notes, and still others use Scrivener—a program my style of thinking doesn’t mesh with. Google Sheets works well, too, and it’s free. The way you plot your stories is up to you.

When my characters begin doing things that weren’t planned, the outline evolves. That way, I don’t lose control of the plot and go off on a side quest to nowhere. That is when I get to know my characters as people.

Author-thoughtsWhen the writing commences, the characters make choices and say things that surprise me. They can do this because I allow them agency.

Each character will be left with several consequential choices to make in every situation that arises along the timeline. I consider the personality and allow the characters’ reactions to fit who they are.

No matter how they respond, they will be placed in situations where they have no choice but to go forward. After all, I am their creator, the deity of their universe. I have an outline that predestines them to specific fates, and nothing they can do will stop that train.

The consequences my characters face for their choices affect the atmosphere and mood of the story as it emerges. Think about it—if there are no consequences for a character’s bad decisions, everyone goes home unscathed. What sort of story is that? Why bother writing at all?

Let’s look at both the meanings and synonyms for the word consequences.

ConsequencesLIRF09142024

So now, let’s consider agency and the importance of choice. How will the consequences of their decisions affect our characters’ lives? After all, a story isn’t interesting without a few self-inflicted complications.

A story most fantasy authors are familiar with is J.R.R. Tolkien’s The Hobbit. Let’s have a closer look at Bilbo’s choices and his path to becoming the eccentric, eleventy-one-year-old hobbit who vanishes (literally), leaving everything, including the One Ring, to Frodo.

In the morning, after the unexpected (and unwanted) guests leave, he has two choices. He can stay in the safety of Bag End or hare off on a journey into the unknown. He chooses to run after the dwarves, and so begins the story of how a respectable hobbit embarked on a new career as a burglar and became a hero in the process.

Bilbo comes to the huts of the raftelves by J.R.R. Tolkien

Bilbo comes to the huts of the raft elves by J.R.R. Tolkien

The consequences of Bilbo’s decision will shape his entire life afterward. Where he was once a staid country squire, the pillar of respectability who had inherited a comfortable income and existence, he is now expected to steal an important treasure from a dragon.

At the outset, that particular job doesn’t seem real, and he can’t imagine doing it. More immediate problems beset him. First of all, he has no clue about how a successful burglar works. He knows better than anyone that he is completely unfit for the task.

Second, he’s always been well-fed, highly respected, and not inclined to physical labor. Now, he is a novice on the expedition, so his opinions carry no weight. Not only that, meals are scant by his standards, and they must do way too much walking.

Bilbo’s long-suppressed desire for adventure emerges early when the company encounters a group of trolls. He is supposed to be a thief, so he is sent to investigate a strange fire in a forest. Reluctantly, he agrees. Upon reaching the blaze, he observes that it is a cookfire for a group of trolls.

Bilbo must make a choice. The smart thing would be to turn around at that point and warn the dwarves that they are in mortal danger. However, Bilbo’s bruised ego takes over, and he chooses to do something to prove his worth.

“He was very much alarmed as well as disgusted; he wished himself a hundred miles away—yet somehow he could not go straight back to Thorin and Company empty-handed.” [1]

Bilbo’s desire to impress the Dwarves causes him to make regrettable decisions. His choice leads to everyone nearly getting eaten, which is a negative consequence.

the hobbitFortunately, they are rescued by Gandalf. While he is hiding, Bilbo discovers several historically important weapons. One of them is Sting, a blade that fits Bilbo perfectly as a sword. This is a positive consequence, as the blade is crucial to Bilbo’s story and later to Frodo’s story.

It does not acquire its name until later in the adventure, after Bilbo, lost in the forest of Mirkwood, uses it to kill a giant spider and rescue the Dwarves. This is when Bilbo’s decisions become more thoughtful, and his courageous side begins to emerge.

Choices and consequences, both negative and positive, shape Bilbo’s character.

Sometimes, the decisions our characters make as we write surprise us. But if those choices make the story too easy, they should be discarded.

The best, most exciting moments I’ve had as an author are when my characters surprise me and take over the story. I can’t describe the feeling of exultation I experience when my characters choose to take the story in a different, much better direction than I had planned.

Ultimately, they end at the place I intended for them at the outset, but they always do it their own way and with their own style.

ConsequencesLIRF07122020


Credits and Attributions:

[1] Quote from The Hobbitor There and Back Again, by J.R.R. Tolkien, published 1937 by George Allen & Unwin, Ltd.

5 Comments

Filed under writing

#FineArtFriday: The Peasant and the Nest Robber by Pieter Bruegel the Elder 1568

The_Peasant_and_the_Birdnester_Pieter_Bruegel_the_Elder_1568Artist: Pieter Brueghel the Elder (1526/1530–1569)

Title:  “The Peasant and the Nest Robber”

Date: 1568

Medium: oil on oak wood

Dimensions: 59.3 × 68.3 cm (23.3 × 26.8 in)

Collection: Kunsthistorisches Museum

What I love about this painting

Pieter Brugel the Elder was a man with a sharp eye for the humorous and the ability to wield allegory and symbolism like a knife. He cuts to the heart of things, pointing out the hubris and vanities of people from all walks of life.

Pieter Brugel the Elder was earthy and honest in his depictions of village life in his time. He painted what he saw and celebrated the ups and downs of the human condition. Today, his art is an important source of evidence about the social mores and values governing 16th-century life.

This painting details his favorite subject of human frailty, but he’s taken a different approach, narrowing his usual cast of thousands to just two.

In this case, he is pointing out that people are opportunists. We either have the knowledge and nerve to take what we need or the knowledge and sly desire to point out the failings of others.

Both men in this scene are taking the opportunity to advance themselves. One gains eggs and a good meal, and the other gains a sense of moral superiority.

Neither man feels guilty.

About this painting, via Wikipedia:

This unusual subject apparently illustrates a Netherlandish proverb:

Dije den nest Weet dijen weeten, dijen Roft dij heeten
He who knows where the nest is, has the knowledge, he who robs, has the nest.

The painting presents a moralising contrast between the active, wicked individual and the passive man who is virtuous in spite of adversity (a similar theme appears in his drawing The Beekeepers)] And lastly it could be suggested that the pointing man is making judgement on the robber whilst not aware that he is nearly stepping into the water in front of him.

It has been suggested that, with his knowledge of Italian art, Bruegel intended the peasant’s gesture as a profane parody of the gesture of Leonardo‘s St John. [1]

About the Artist, via Wikipedia:

Pieter Bruegel (also Brueghel or Breughelthe Elder c. 1525–1530 – 9 September 1569) was the most significant artist of Dutch and Flemish Renaissance painting, a painter and printmaker from Brabant, known for his landscapes and peasant scenes (so-called genre painting); he was a pioneer in making both types of subject the focus in large paintings.

He was a formative influence on Dutch Golden Age painting and later painting in general in his innovative choices of subject matter, as one of the first generation of artists to grow up when religious subjects had ceased to be the natural subject matter of painting. He also painted no portraits, the other mainstay of Netherlandish art. After his training and travels to Italy, he returned in 1555 to settle in Antwerp, where he worked mainly as a prolific designer of prints for the leading publisher of the day. Only towards the end of the decade did he switch to make painting his main medium, and all his famous paintings come from the following period of little more than a decade before his early death, when he was probably in his early forties, and at the height of his powers.

Around 1563, Bruegel moved from Antwerp to Brussels, where he married Mayken Coecke, the daughter of the painter Pieter Coecke van Aelst and Mayken Verhulst. As registered in the archives of the Cathedral of Antwerp, their deposition for marriage was registered 25 July 1563. The marriage itself was concluded in the Chapel Church, Brussels in 1563.

Pieter the Elder had two sons: Pieter Brueghel the Younger and Jan Brueghel the Elder (both kept their name as Brueghel). Their grandmother, Mayken Verhulst, trained the sons because “the Elder” died when both were very small children. The older brother, Pieter Brueghel copied his father’s style and compositions with competence and considerable commercial success. Jan was much more original, and very versatile. He was an important figure in the transition to the Baroque style in Flemish Baroque painting and Dutch Golden Age painting in a number of its genres. He was often a collaborator with other leading artists, including with Peter Paul Rubens on many works including the Allegory of Sight.

Other members of the family include Jan van Kessel the Elder (grandson of Jan Brueghel the Elder) and Jan van Kessel the Younger. Through David Teniers the Younger, son-in-law of Jan Brueghel the Elder, the family is also related to the whole Teniers family of painters and the Quellinus family of painters and sculptors, through the marriage of Jan-Erasmus Quellinus to Cornelia, daughter of David Teniers the Younger. [2]


Credits and Attributions:

[1] IMAGE and Quote about this picture: Wikipedia contributors, “The Peasant and the Nest Robber,” Wikipedia, The Free Encyclopedia, https://en.wikipedia.org/w/index.php?title=The_Peasant_and_the_Nest_Robber&oldid=1160869804 (accessed September 12, 2024).

[2] Wikipedia contributors, “Pieter Bruegel the Elder,” Wikipedia, The Free Encyclopedia, https://en.wikipedia.org/w/index.php?title=Pieter_Bruegel_the_Elder&oldid=1218696694 (accessed September 12, 2024).

2 Comments

Filed under #FineArtFriday

The Second Draft: Decoding My Mental Shorthand #writing

Before we set the first words on a blank page, our minds have formed images of scenes we want to describe. Steven Pinker is a professor of psychology at Harvard University who specializes in visual cognition and developmental linguistics. He reminds us that we are not born with language, so we are NOT engineered to think in words alone. We also think in images.

depthPart1revisionsLIRF05252021It follows that certain words become a kind of mental shorthand, small packets of letters that contain a world of images and meaning for us. Code words are the author’s multi-tool—a compact tool that combines several individual functions in a single unit. One word, one packet of letters will serve many purposes and convey a myriad of mental images.

These words are sometimes used too often in the first draft as they are efficient. We write as fast as we can when we have the inspiration. Code words convey a wide range of information concisely, and because we use them, we can write the first draft of a story from beginning to end before we lose the fire for it.

In my current writing, I hope to portray my protagonists as I see them without bashing my readers with how I see their appearance. The big temptation is to go into detail about each person’s specific characteristics.

This is not necessary. We think in images, and so do our readers, who will fill in the details in a way that is pleasing to them. I want to convey their characteristics naturally and without beating the reader over the head.

A few years ago, I read a novel featuring a caterer who solves mysteries. She is continuously described as Junoesque, ample, vast, chubby, size eighteen, fat, large … and on and on. In every chapter, at least once and usually twice, we were given a visual description of her, along with indications of how she aroused the males around her.

Those constant descriptions were meant to emphasize the author’s perception of her protagonist as plump but irresistible to the males. However, as the book wore on, it became jarring and unnecessary. I skipped to the end and then set it aside, never to be read again.

powerwordsWordCloudLIRF06192021I want to avoid that sin in my work, but what are my code words? What words are being inadvertently overused as descriptors? A good way to discover this is to make a word cloud. The words that see the most screen time will be the largest. Free online word cloud generator and tag cloud creator – WordClouds.com.

A word frequency search is also a good tool. Word Frequency Counter – Counts frequency of words in text, free online tool (charactercounter.com)

In my current work, a prominent side character is an important mentor. He is tall with dark skin and dark eyes. His hair is a wiry halo shot with white and trimmed close to his head. This is a mixed-race society, a world where “race” means “species.” One is a human born in the world of Neveyah, a large minotaur from the Bull God’s world, or a small person with rat-like features from the Mountain God’s world. Those are the only racial differences people notice.

So, when showing my people, I use general descriptors, and thanks to my use of word frequency search, the code words are now used only a few times. My hope is that a reader will make appropriate visualizations as needed.

Every author thinks a little differently, so your code words will be different from mine. Another way to find your secret code words is to have the Read Aloud tool read each section. I find many inadvertent crutch words that way.

One of the code words I subconsciously overuse is “felt.” My thesaurus says I could exchange felt for:

  • ozford-american-writers-thesaurusendured
  • experienced
  • knew
  • saw
  • suffered
  • tasted
  • underwent,
  • witnessed

The thesaurus offers some other words related to felt:

  • regarded
  • viewed
  • accepted
  • depended
  • trusted
  • assumed
  • presumed
  • presupposed
  • surmised

It’s natural to overuse certain words without realizing it, but that is where revisions come in.

As you go along, you’ll discover that some words have very few synonyms that work.

Consider the word “smile.” It’s a common code word, a five-letter packet of visualization. Synonyms for “smile” are few and don’t show what I mean:

  • beam
  • grin
  • leer
  • smirk

Each occurrence of the word “smile” in my work must be considered individually. Sometimes, this requires a complete re-visualization of the scene. It hurts my heart to murder my darlings, but I look for a different way to convey my intention.

We don’t have to drag the reader through a long list of ever-moving facial expressions, such as lips turning up, down, drawing to one side, etc.

When done sparingly and combined with a conversation, this kind of visual display can work.

By sparingly, I mean no more than one facial change per interaction, please.

oxford_synonym_antonymSometimes, the only thing that works is the brief image of a smile. Nothing is more boring than reading a story where a person’s facial expressions take center stage. As a reader, I want to know what is happening inside our characters and can be put off by an exaggerated outward display.

Once you become aware of your first draft code words, go to the thesaurus, find all the synonyms you can, and list them in a document for easy access. If it is a word such as smile or shrug, you have your work cut out, but it will speed things up if you make a small list of visuals that you can use and change up as needed.

A list of mood indicators can keep you from losing your momentum and will readily give you the words you need to convey all the vivid imagery you see in your mind. I saved my list to my desktop, so I don’t have to waste time searching for it.

Here are some instances of body language an observer would see if a character was wary.

  • Crossed arms.
  • A stiff posture.
  • Narrowed eyes.

emotion-thesaurus-et-alIf you don’t have it already, a book you might want to invest in is The Emotion Thesaurus by Angela Ackerman and Becca Puglisi. Some of the visuals they list aren’t my cup of tea, but they understand how to use words that show what people are thinking.

This aspect of the revision process is sometimes the most difficult. It takes time to examine each instance of our code words. They don’t always need changing—sometimes, a smile is a smile, and that is okay.

6 Comments

Filed under writing

#FineArtFriday: Morning at Grand Manan by Alfred Thompson Bricher 1878

Morning_at_Grand_Manan_by_Alfred_Thompson_BricherArtist: Alfred Thompson Bricher (1837–1908)

Title: Morning at Grand Manan

Date: 1878

Medium: oil on canvas

Dimensions: height: 25 in (63.5 cm); width: 50 in (127 cm).

Collection: Indianapolis Museum of Art

Current location: Paine Early American Painting Gallery

What I Love about this painting:

This is a satisfying scene capturing the best moments of a morning at the shore. The light falls on the water with an almost photographic sheen. Fishing vessels leave the harbor, heading out to sea. The sea is calm, and the waves roll up to embrace the shore. One could wade in the shallows and search the tidal pools for starfish or crabs and other creatures in safety.

The sun is up and the few clouds in the sky are dissipating. This will be a good day, perhaps the best day of the summer.

About this painting via Wikipedia:

Morning at Grand Manan is an 1878 oil painting by Alfred Thompson Bricher. It is part of the permanent collection at the Indianapolis Museum of Art, and is currently on view in the Paine Early American Painting Gallery.

Painted along Grand Manan Island, a favorite vacation spot of the artist in New Brunswick, Canada, Bricher painted the sunrise coming above the Atlantic Ocean in a tiny inlet on the coast. Four sailing ships are clearly visible against the pink sky. On the left of the canvas, a sharp, rocky cliff face is seen, breaking up the composition. Bricher clearly depicts each wave rolling onto the beach in minute detail. The sun is positioned a little left of center of the canvas, but is the major focal point, drawing the eye in. Just like other Hudson River School painters, Bricher hides his brushstrokes as if to make the canvas disappear.

Alfred Thompson Bricher was part of the American Luminist movement, coming out of the Hudson River School. Much like the Impressionists, they were interested in the play of light in landscapes, with Bricher himself being particularly interested in how light played against the ocean. Bricher, in particular, became famous for his seascapes and depicting the North Atlantic seaboard. Bricher is considered the last important luminist painter. Morning at Grand Manan came at the height of his career, and displayed Bricher’s acquisition of European aesthetics into his own paintings.

About the Artist via Wikipedia:

Alfred Thompson Bricher (April 10, 1837 – September 30, 1908) was an American painter associated with White Mountain art and the Hudson River School.

Bricher was born in Portsmouth, New Hampshire. He was educated in an academy at Newburyport, Massachusetts. He began his career as a businessman in Boston, Massachusetts. When not working, he studied at the Lowell Institute. He also studied with Albert BierstadtWilliam Morris Hunt, and others. He attained noteworthy skill in making landscape studies from nature, and after 1858 devoted himself to the art as a profession. He opened a studio in Boston, and met with some success there. In 1868 he moved to New York City, and at the National Academy of Design that year he exhibited “Mill-Stream at Newburyport.” Soon afterward he began to use watercolors in preference to oils, and in 1873 was chosen a member of the American Watercolor Society. In the 1870s, he primarily did maritime themed paintings, with attention to watercolor paintings of landscape, marine, and coastwise scenery. He often spent summers in Grand Manan, where he produced such notable works as Morning at Grand Manan (1878). In 1879, Bricher was elected into the National Academy of Design as an Associate member.


Credits and Attributions

IMAGE: Wikimedia Commons contributors, “File:Morning at Grand Manan by Alfred Thompson Bricher.jpg,” Wikimedia Commons, https://commons.wikimedia.org/w/index.php?title=File:Morning_at_Grand_Manan_by_Alfred_Thompson_Bricher.jpg&oldid=872660352 (accessed September 5, 2024).

[1] ABOUT THE  IMAGE: Wikipedia contributors, “Morning at Grand Manan,” Wikipedia, The Free Encyclopedia, https://en.wikipedia.org/w/index.php?title=Morning_at_Grand_Manan&oldid=1192844232 (accessed September 5, 2024).

[2] BIO: Wikipedia contributors, “Alfred Thompson Bricher,” Wikipedia, The Free Encyclopedia, https://en.wikipedia.org/w/index.php?title=Alfred_Thompson_Bricher&oldid=1229486559 (accessed September 5, 2024).

4 Comments

Filed under #FineArtFriday

Today is Labor Day in the US #writerlife

The first Monday in September is Labor Day in the US, a holiday marking the end of summer. This is the day we honor those whose labor keeps this country running. Over the years, I have worked in a wide variety of menial jobs. All were low-paying and didn’t garner much respect from those in higher-status positions or from management. But I liked my work and never did less than my best.

MyWritingLife2021BChildcare was always an issue. Sometimes, during the Carter years, I qualified for government-subsidized childcare vouchers, which was the only reason I could work such low-paying entry-level jobs. Later, my uncle cared for my youngest daughter after school until she was about ten.  Because I had that childcare subsidy when my youngest was not yet of school age, I was able to support my family relatively well.

They should bring that childcare subsidy back. Once they reached ten years of age, my kids were latchkey kids, which wasn’t uncommon in those days.

In the 1970s-80s, I worked as a bookkeeper, an automobile detailer, a field hand for a (now defunct) multi-national Christmas tree company, a photo lab tech, a waitress in a bakery, and worked in a delicatessen.

During those years, my favorite job was as a field hand for the J. Hofert Company. They grew Christmas trees of all varieties, and I absolutely loved the work. It was outdoors, paid $3.25 an hour, and was seasonal, so I usually had a month off three times a year.  I was able to work all the overtime hours I wanted during certain seasons, as field hands were as hard to get then as they are now.

coins

Coins, Microsoft content creators

Sometimes, especially during the Reagan years and up to 1996, wages were low, and jobs were scarce.  I held two, and sometimes three, part-time jobs to keep the roof over my children’s heads and food on their table. Trickledown economics never quite trickled down to my town.

In the late 1980s and through the 1990s, I worked as a hotel maid, a photographer’s assistant and darkroom technician, and as a bookkeeper/office manager for a charter bus company.

Life became easier in the 1990s. As a bookkeeper/office manager, I earned $7.50 an hour (two dollars over minimum at the time) and worked less than 30 hours a week with no benefits whatsoever. I drove for an hour each way, morning and afternoon, for that job.

As a hotel housekeeper in a union shop, on the days I wasn’t a bookkeeper, I made $8.50 (three dollars over minimum) and worked about 20 hours a week, giving me enough from the two jobs to live on and provide well for my children. I was still legally married to my 3rd husband, but he was seldom in the picture. The marriage was a shield between me and my well-meaning matchmaker friends.

fireworks via wikipedaI was divorced from hubby number three in 1997, and oddly enough, things became much easier financially. I was able to get by with only one job, even while raising my last teenager. (See? Everyone has a soap opera life, even famously unknown authors.)

For all the years I was married to my 3rd husband, no matter what other job I had, I kept my weekend job at the hotel. I kept it because I always had that to fall back on. I had risen in seniority and could work full-time whenever the other jobs went away.

My hotel was affiliated with a good union. We who did the dirty work earned far more than maids, housemen, and laundresses at other hotels. We also had benefits such as paid sick leave, up to two weeks a year of paid vacations, good health insurance, and a 401k, to which our employer matched our contributions.

In any hotel, housekeepers are considered the lowest of the low by the other employees. No one is of less social value than the person who cleans up after other people. Without the union, we would have had nothing more than the bare minimum wage and a cartload of insincere condescension from management.

Not every union is good or reasonable. But while I don’t agree with everything every union does and stands for, I am grateful that a good, reasonable organization protected my family and me during those years of struggle.

After 2000, I worked as a temp employee at Verisign, a tax preparer for H&R Block, and did data entry for LPB Energy Management. By 2010, I was thoroughly sick of corporate America and had returned to bookkeeping, this time for a local landscape company.

That job was a joy.

In my younger days, I worked every weekend and every holiday, and yes, it was not easy, but it was what it was. My kids were good and supportive, and they knew I was doing my best for them.

Every worker deserves an employer who treats them with respect and offers a fair wage in return for their labor.

The world is a different place now in many ways. Even so, someone must do the dirty jobs, the work that no one else wants. I have nothing but respect for those who work long, hard hours in all areas of the service industry, struggling to support their families.

My experiences working in the lower echelons of the labor force inform my writing. Look around you and see the people who make your life easier by being there every day doing their jobs.

330px-Works_Progress_Administration_maid_poster_cropped

Stylized drawing of a maid on a Works Progress Administration poster via Wikipedia

Every waitress/waiter, housekeeper, laundry worker, caregiver, bartender, welder, mechanic—everyone in the service industry is a living, caring human being with hopes, ambitions, triumphs, and tragedies. Every one of them has a story and a reason to be where they are, doing the task they have been given.

Say a little thank you to all those who endure verbal abuse when a customer is stressed out and “doesn’t have time to wait” or is upset by things they have no control over and vent their anxiety at someone who can’t (or won’t) fight back.

Give a little thanks to those whose labor enables you to live a little easier.

4 Comments

Filed under writing