Pacing part one: foreshadowing and the strong opening #amwriting

I’ve been struggling to find the place where the narrative of my new novel actually begins. Is it the day of his divorce? Is it the day of his brother’s death? Or is it the day he is released from the care of the healers after his breakdown?

MyWritingLife2021BAnd what of my female protagonist? Where does her story begin?

And the other pair—the ones that really need their own book but aren’t going to get it. What about them?

At this point, all I have is a mountain of backstory. It’s important because it tells me who my people are the day the novel begins.

It doesn’t need to be the opening chapter.

Every story begins with an opening act. The characters are introduced, and the scene is set. These paragraphs establish the tone of what is to follow, and if I have gotten my phrasing and pacing right, they will hook the reader.

This is where pacing comes into it. The intended impact of the book can and should be established in the first pages—but it takes work. I am writing a first draft right now, so most of what I write is a code telling me what I need to know when I get to the revision process.

I have introduced the setting. Where are the characters? Well, in this case, it’s easy. They are in the World of Neveyah, and fortunately for me, the world, the society, and the magic systems are already built. Some things are canon, which forces me to be creative and work within those limits.

Finally, I must introduce the conflict. What does the protagonist want? What hinders them?

My female protagonist must learn to live with her limits and trust her team. She must learn to delegate.

While she is doing that, my male protagonist must move beyond what he has lost and learn to appreciate what he still has.

My other female lead must be the friend the protagonist needs and make a choice between her career as a soldier or choosing to leave and raise a family.

Conversely, the other male lead must emerge from his father’s domination and choose to make his career as an artisan.

Not only that, but I must use my words in such a way that my readers don’t want to put the book down.

Novels are built the same way as a Gothic cathedral. Small arcs support other arcs in layers, creating an intricate structure that rises high and withstands all that nature can throw at it for the centuries to come.

Like our cathedral, the strength of a novel’s story arc depends on the foundation you lay in the book’s first quarter.

Plot-exists-to-reveal-characterI must introduce a story-worthy problem in those pages, a test propelling the protagonist to the middle of the book. The opening paragraphs are vital. They are the hook, the introduction to my voice, and must offer a reason for the reader to continue past the first page.

So, I must find where that story really begins, and trust me, it isn’t with a mental breakdown. The story begins with each character arriving at their new duty stations, each with a history that makes them who they are that day. Their pasts are known to others and do come out, but only when the other characters and the reader needs it.

I find pacing is the most challenging part of writing a first draft. Eighty percent of my writing will not make it into the final manuscript.

But it will be available in a file labeled ‘backstory’ for me to access when needed. I note names and relationships in my stylesheet and outline as I go.

One character is dark and brooding. I won’t explain why at the outset, as his backstory must emerge gradually, each morsel emerging when my female character must know. My side characters have an easier path, but their task is to provide information when required and to assist in the surface quest—catching a murderer.

With the back history in a separate file, I must open the novel with my characters in place. A  question must be raised, or I must introduce the inciting incident. This sets the four on the trail of the answer, throwing them into the action.

It’s too easy to frontload the opening pages with a wall of backstory. We always think, “Before you learn this, you must know that.”

All of that is true, but the history belongs in a separate file. I learned this the hard way—long lead-ins don’t hook the reader.

If my characters don’t need to hear the history of the Caverns of Despair, it’s likely that the readers also don’t care. The name is a pretty descriptive indicator of what lies ahead, so the twelve paragraphs detailing how the caves got their name are probably unnecessary.

The_Pyramid_Conflict_Tension_PacingMy favorite books open with a minor conflict, evolving to a series of more significant problems, working up to the first pinch point, where the characters are set on the path to their destiny.

I will open with a strong scene, an arc of action that

  • illuminates the characters’ motives,
  • allows the reader to learn things as the protagonist does, and
  • offers clues regarding things the characters do not know that will affect the plot.
  • The end of one scene is the launching pad for the next scene, propelling the story arc.

The clues I offer at the beginning are foreshadowing. Through the book’s first half, foreshadowing is important, as it piques the reader’s interest and makes them want to know how the book will end.

In the opening paragraphs, I will focus on the protagonists and hint at their problems. Subplots, if there are any, will be introduced after the inciting incident has taken place. They must relate to that incident in some way.

If you introduce side quests too soon, they are distracting. They make for a haphazard story arc if they don’t relate to the central quest. I think side quests work best if they are presented once the book’s tone and the central crisis have been established. Good subplots are excellent ways of introducing the emotional part of the story.

Even if I were to open the story by dropping my characters into the middle of an event, I’d need a pivotal event at the 1/4 mark that completely rocks their world. The event that changes everything is the core of the story.

Following the inciting incident is the second act: more action occurs, leading to more trouble and rising to a severe crisis.

I know how long I plan the book to be. I will take that word count and divide it by 4. I place the first significant event in the first quarter, presenting it after I introduce the characters. The following two quarters form the second act, the middle. If I have plotted well, the middle of the story arc should fall into place like dominoes.

We’ll talk about that in my next post.

storyArcLIRF10032021

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#FineArtFriday: On the Saco by Albert Bierstadt (revisited)

Bierstadt_Albert_On_the_SacoArtist: Albert Bierstadt (1830–1902)

Title: “On the Saco”

Genre: landscape art

Description: Of the Saco River, Maine.

Date: Unknown date (19th century)

Medium: oil painting.

What I love about this image:

Bierstadt understood and respected the power of nature. The way he rendered the sky is wonderful. He captured that brilliant darkness of a distant storm against the bright sunshine of an autumn afternoon. I love contrasts in this painting, the bright foliage in every shade of red and yellow, the serenity of the cattle drinking in the shallows.

The heavy darkness of the storm in the hills seems to be pushed back by the serene glow of fall’s sunlight on the river. Will it rain itself out before it passes over the herd? Possibly.

About the Artist, via Wikipedia:

Albert Bierstadt (January 7, 1830 – February 18, 1902) was a German-American painter best known for his lavish, sweeping landscapes of the American West. He joined several journeys of the Westward Expansion to paint the scenes. He was not the first artist to record the sites, but he was the foremost painter of them for the remainder of the 19th century.

Bierstadt was born in Prussia, but his family moved to the United States when he was one year old. He returned to study painting for several years in Düsseldorf. He became part of the second generation of the Hudson River School in New York, an informal group of like-minded painters who started painting along the Hudson River. Their style was based on carefully detailed paintings with romantic, almost glowing lighting, sometimes called luminism. Bierstadt was an important interpreter of the western landscape, and he is also grouped with the Rocky Mountain School. [1]


Credits and Attributions:

Image: On the Saco by Albert Bierstadt, Wikimedia Commons contributors, “File:Bierstadt Albert On the Saco.jpg,” Wikimedia Commons, the free media repository, https://commons.wikimedia.org/w/index.php?title=File:Bierstadt_Albert_On_the_Saco.jpg&oldid=618723154 (accessed September 16, 2022).

[1] Wikipedia contributors, “Albert Bierstadt,” Wikipedia, The Free Encyclopedia, https://en.wikipedia.org/w/index.php?title=Albert_Bierstadt&oldid=1107140650 (accessed September 16, 2022).

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The story arc – plot points, a series of life-changing events #amwriting

Every good story has an arc to it. It begins at a place of change and is created by one event following another until it comes to a place where the narrative is concluded.

MyWritingLife2021The inciting incident is followed by a series of plot points, places where complications are introduced into the narrative.

Real life is the same way. As many of you know, this last year has been one of change for me and my husband. If I were writing the story of this year,  it would begin with the inciting incident which occurred a year ago this last week. My husband was involved in a car wreck which ultimately led to his diagnosis of Parkinson’s disease. That was a bad day for us, but thankfully he wasn’t seriously injured, and we got it handled.

Just as in a novel, there was fallout from the inciting incident. Unfortunately, it meant the protagonist’s spouse could no longer drive. That would be the second plot point because it meant all plans for the summer had to be rearranged on the fly.

Orange_Door_with_Hydrangeas_©_Connie_Jasperson_2019The opening setting for this story is a small town in an exceedingly rural part of Thurston County. One must travel at least ten miles in any direction to find another city. After sundown, you must drive on narrow, winding, pitch-black country roads. I, the protagonist in my story, suffer from severe night blindness, which meant we had to return home before sundown, putting a real crimp in our social life.

The third pinch point comes in the sudden amount of traveling we had to do for physical therapy and neurology appointments. All medical services are twenty miles north in the Olympia area, as are the full-service grocery stores and a multitude of services we now need. It was like having a day job again. We would get up, have breakfast, and hit the road.

The story’s midpoint comes when, in January, we examined our options. Ultimately, we decided the best solution was to sell our home of eighteen years and move twenty miles north, back to Olympia.

The plot arc of the year had crested the midpoint, and now it was hurtling toward the next complication—trying to pack up, get the house ready to sell, and be a contributing grandparent to the family.

That was not easy.

Three family members have faced serious health problems since January. For one, epilepsy reared its head like the curse it is, and he landed in the hospital again. For the first time, I wasn’t any help other than offering a supportive voice on the other end of a phone call.

medical symbolMajor surgeries happened for the other two, and I was many miles away to the south, getting our house on the market. But our sons and daughters are entering middle age, and our older grandchildren are adults. Despite our worries, our granddaughters proved they were mature and more than capable of handling their lives.

And they all do so, brilliantly.

This is the final battle. The protagonists have been forced to let go and be the caring sounding board whenever one is needed.

And now, we approach the happy ending. The protagonists have managed to get packed up and moved by the deadline. Every task was done, and the house was ready to put on the market by the self-imposed deadline. As of today, our two characters have received some good offers and accepted one. Now they have to hope everything goes as well as possible and the deal closes by the end of June as it should.

Is there an epilogue? Of course. What is the setting for this final chapter? We find our couple in a small apartment in an urban village.

Lucky Coffee CupThe protagonists are settling into the new neighborhood. One of the niftiest things about their community is the Starbucks—and yes, I did say Starbucks. The owners of the Chambers Prairie Grange building took a huge risk, choosing to renovate rather than tear it down. It was built in 1908 when this area was outside the city limits and was long abandoned, falling into serious disrepair. This Starbucks has the feel and ambiance of a mom-and-pop coffee shop with plenty of comfortable, widely spaced seating placed with a post-pandemic eye. The original flooring has been refurbished, along with the original walls. Even the old Chambers Prairie Grange sign is hung inside there.

Moving to this neighborhood is coming full circle for me, the protagonist. I worked for a large rhododendron nursery in 1989, and the greenhouses I worked in were on the very site where my apartment building currently sits. Across the street from my windows is the property where my uncle and aunt lived in 1966. A large condominium complex is going up where my uncle’s house was, nearing completion. Some friends of ours have bought one of the condos.

From our windows, we have a view of the old grange hall. Back in the day, my ex-hubby’s heavy metal band played there for keggers. Attendees paid two dollars at the door. One dollar went to the band, the other to the host to pay for the beer. (No one underage allowed, no exceptions.) They played many a night there in the early 1970s before the grange hall was shut down and abandoned.

The epilogue of our story shows how life is much simpler for our protagonists. It shows the point of view character, me, admitting how she could get used to the lack of stress and how it feels like a vacation.

The story is an arc that begins at a place of change (the inciting incident), details the complicating events (pinch points), and concludes at a place of relative calm and introspection (the epilogue).

boxLIRF04182023I find that writing is easy here. Creativity comes in bursts, and I feel good about my writing. We have pared our possessions down to the point that they don’t possess us—something you don’t realize is a problem until you are faced with serious downsizing.

With my husband’s diagnosis of Parkinson’s, we have entered a new phase of life. Our children tell us we have earned our stress-free life, and it’s time to enjoy it.

Yes, winter was long and hard, but now summer is here, and the days are long and bright. So, let the good times roll—real life is unscripted, unpredictable, and no matter the plot points, life is always good.

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Maps—Managing Scope Creep #amwriting #worldbuilding

Scope creep (aka project creep, requirement creep, or kitchen sink syndrome) in project management refers to ongoing changes and continuous (or uncontrolled) growth of a project. This can occur at any point after the project commences.

Untitled.pngworldbuilding-maps-LIRF07052022In writing, this happens when the narrative keeps expanding, and expanding, and expanding … and what was canon in chapter 4 is contradicted in chapter 44. The story grows as we write it.

I love the name kitchen sink syndrome. It means we begin adding everything but the kitchen sink to the project—one of my fatal flaws. This becomes a problem when building science fiction and fantasy worlds because they emerge from our imaginations and grow and evolve with every new idea we have.

Scope creep is built into the early drafts. Readers remember the smallest details and use them to visualize the world they are reading about. They notice contradictions.

We fantasy and sci-fi authors can inadvertently build flaws into the geography as we lay the story down on paper and expand on scenes and interactions. This is why you need some idea of distances and how long it takes to travel using the common mode of transportation.

We don’t want to build contradictions into our narrative, but we all want a way to speed up the process of finishing the first draft. I find a small, hand-scribbled map is the best way to do this. I begin with the opening location.

Also, and this is important–when I get stuck and can’t think of what to write, creating a map helps jog things loose.

Much of my work takes place in the world of Neveyah. This alien environment is familiar to me because I based the plants and topography on the Pacific Northwest, where I live. Other than the Escarpment, the visible scar left behind by the Sundering of the Worlds, the plants and geography are directly pulled from Southern Puget Sound’s forested hills and the farmlands of Western Washington State.

Map of Neveyah, in the time of Aelfrid

Conversely, the Valley of Mal Evol is a reflection of the eastern half of our geographically divided state.

In 2008, when I first began writing in this world, I went to science to see how long it takes for an environment to recover from cataclysmic events. I took my information from the Channeled Scablands of Washington State, a two-hour drive from my home. This vast desert area is formed by the scars of a series of natural disasters occurring around 13,000 years ago.

From Wikipedia: The Cordilleran Ice Sheet dammed up Glacial Lake Missoula at the Purcell Trench Lobe. A series of floods occurring over the period of 18,000 to 13,000 years ago swept over the landscape when the ice dam broke. The eroded channels also show an anastomosing, or braided, appearance. [1]

But what if we’re writing a historical novel. No matter when or where your book is set, a certain amount of worldbuilding will be required. But even though your book may explore a real woman’s experiences, researched through newsreels, her diary, and the interviews you had with her just before her death at the age of 103, you are still writing a fantasy.

This is because, in reality, the world of any book exists only in three places: it begins in the author’s imagination, lands on the pages of the book, and then flows into the reader’s experience through the written word.

We can only view history through the stained glass of time. History, even recent events, assumes a mythical quality when we attempt to record it. Even a documentary movie that shows events filmed by the news camera may not be portrayed as it was truly experienced. The facts are filtered through the photographer’s eye and the historian’s pen.

Any story set in prehistorical times is a fantasy.

  • Historical eras are those where we have written records.
  • Any story set in a society without written records must be considered a fantasy. Although mythology, conjecture, and theorizing abound, few scientific facts exist until an archeological expedition can investigate any artifacts and ruins they left behind. And even then, there will be a certain literary license to the archaeologist’s conclusions.

If you are setting your novel in a real-world city as it currently exists, make good use of Google Earth. Bookmark it now, even if you live in that town, as the maps you will generate will help you stay on track.

proto_city_map_LIRF07052022If you are writing a tale set in a fantasy or sci-fi setting, you are creating that world.

The first map of my world of Neveyah series was scribbled with a pencil on graph paper. Over time it evolved into a full-color relief map of the world as it exists in my mind.

I love maps. My own maps start out in a rudimentary form, just a way to keep my story straight. I use pencil and graph paper at this stage because:

  • As the rough draft evolves, sometimes towns must be renamed.
  • They may have to be moved to more logical places.
  • Whole mountain ranges may have to be moved or reshaped so our characters encounter forests and savannas where they are supposed to be in the story.

What should go on a map? Truthfully, not a whole lot.

  • Where your people are.
  • Where the places they will go are in relation to their starting point (north, south, east, or west).
  • Where the story ends.

Yep, that’s it unless you want to draw maps—my hobby. All you need for now is the jumping-off point and the essential places. When the mighty heroine leaves home with her trusty sword or phaser, she will always know where she is. She won’t inadvertently transport an entire town from the north to the south of that mountain range.

Neveyahmap jpeg of original scanned doc

Original Map of Neveyah from 2008 ©Connie J. Jasperson

As your story evolves, you will add all the details as they occur to you and believe me—they will come. In the meantime, your map page will be ready and waiting for you to note the particulars. When you are spilling words, the details will emerge, and you will have towns, geological features, and names firmly in your mind.

What if you are only beginning to write your story? Why should you be worried about mapping it out now?

When traveling great distances, your characters may pass through villages on their way. Perhaps the environment will impede them, or better yet, create an obstacle that must be overcome. The map will grow and shrink as you add or delete places from it.

Suppose environmental or geographical obstacles are pertinent to the story. In that case, taking a moment to note their location on your map will be easy. This way, you won’t interrupt the momentum of your writing and won’t contradict yourself if your party must return the way they came.

If your work is sci-fi, consider making a map of where the action happens, even though no one will see it but you. It could be a pencil-drawn floor plan of a space station/ship or a line drawing of part of an alien world.  I drew the floorplan of the inn, Billy’s Revenge, for my reference as most of the novel Billy Ninefingers takes place there.

Billy's Revenge Floor plan ground floorYour map doesn’t have to be fancy. Use a pencil to easily update your map if something changes during revisions. You want to know:

  • Where your people are.
  • Where the places they will go are in relation to their starting point (north, south, east, or west)
  • Where the story ends
  • Names of places and their proper spelling

Maybe you feel you aren’t artistic but know you’ll want a nice map later. Your scribbled map will enable a map artist to provide you with a beautiful and accurate product. You will have a map that contains the information needed for readers to enjoy your book.


Credits and Attributions:

Map of Neveyah © 2012 Connie J. Jasperson all rights reserved.

Floorplan of Billy’s Revenge © Connie J. Jasperson all rights reserved.

[1] Wikipedia contributors, “Channeled Scablands,” Wikipedia, The Free Encyclopedia, https://en.wikipedia.org/w/index.php?title=Channeled_Scablands&oldid=963105167 (accessed June 4, 2023).

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#FineArtFriday: Man in an Oriental Costume – Isaac de Jouderville

Man_in_an_Oriental_Costume_-_Isaac_de_JoudervilleArtist: Isaac de Jouderville  (1612–1645) Formerly attributed to Rembrandt (1606–1669)

Title: Man in an Oriental Costume

Description: English: Portrait shows Rembrandt’s father. The painting was identified by the BBC program Fake or Fortune? as a work looted by the Nazis and was reattributed to Isaac de Jouderville.

Date: 17th century before 1646

Medium: oil painting

About this painting, via Wikipedia:

Isaac de Jouderville’s painting Man in Oriental costume was featured in the fourth episode of the BBC TV programme, Fake or Fortune?. This painting was part of the stock of dealer’s Jakob and Rosa Oppenheimer that was seized by the Nazis and sold in 1935. It resurfaced at a Cape Town auction house in 2010. It was then, and still is today, listed in the Lost Art Database run by the Koordinierungsstelle für Kulturgutverluste in Magdeburg, Germany. It was subject to a long legal dispute as to whether the work was listed there legally. In February 2015 the Federal Administrative Court of Germany held that the Koordinierungsstelle did not have to delete it. [1]

Jouderville is known today for portraits and historical allegories.[1] Jouderville painted mainly Rembrandtesque heads or ‘tronies’. He was such a faithful follower of his master’s early work that several of his paintings were previously attributed to Rembrandt.[5]

If you are interested and have an hour to spare, here is the link to this exceptional story as told by Fiona Bruce and Phillip Mould. FAKE OR FORTUNE REMBRANDT SE1EO4 – YouTube

About the Artist, via Wikipedia:

Isaac de Jouderville (1612 in Leiden – 1645 in Amsterdam), was a Dutch Golden Age painter who was a pupil of Rembrandt.

De Jouderville was an orphan whose parents had come from Metz. He became a pupil of Rembrandt in November 1629 and traveled with him to Amsterdam in 1631. Documents concerning his apprenticeship drawn up by his guardians still exist.

He was back in Leiden to marry Maria le Febure (1619-1653) in 1636 and moved to Deventer in 1641. He lived in Deventer for a few years only; in 1643 he was back in Amsterdam, where he died young in 1645. His widow Maria married the glassmaker Pieter de Melder in 1648 and his daughter Mariecke, later married the painter Frederik de Moucheron.

After Maria le Febure died, her second husband claimed he was unable to support his wife’s three children by her first husband, along with his own two children, though he offered to raise Jacob Jouderville to the age of 18.[2] By that time De Melder was acting as art dealer, and the liquidation of his wife’s goods shows an interesting list of artists who were either owed money by her estate or who owed money to her estate. [1]


Credits and Attributions:

Image: Wikimedia Commons contributors, “File:Man in an Oriental Costume – Isaac de Jouderville.jpg,” Wikimedia Commons, https://commons.wikimedia.org/w/index.php?title=File:Man_in_an_Oriental_Costume_-_Isaac_de_Jouderville.jpg&oldid=527175855 (accessed May 26, 2023).

[1] Wikipedia contributors, “Isaac de Jouderville,” Wikipedia, The Free Encyclopedia, https://en.wikipedia.org/w/index.php?title=Isaac_de_Jouderville&oldid=1085547679 (accessed May 26, 2023).

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Revisiting Syntax and Instinctive Grammar Rules #amwriting

Moving into our new apartment has eaten heavily into my writing time but after today, our work in the old house is done. But due to my time constraints, today we are revisiting a post from January 16th, on words and the way we use them. If you have already seen this post, thank you for stopping by! Next week we will talk about sci-fi and fantasy maps and discuss mapmaking.

Warping words and abusing the rules of grammar can be exhilarating, but no matter what our native language, some speech habits are ingrained in us. We want our written conversations to sound natural, so here are a few speech habits native speakers of English learn from birth:


Syntax is defined as the arrangement of words and phrases to create well-formed sentences in a language. English has certain standard rules of speech that are learned so early on in life that they are instinctual.

Words-And-How-We-Use-ThemNo matter the level of our education or the dialect we speak, we use these rules and don’t realize we are doing so.

Several years ago, I found three delightful quotes on these rules from linguist Steven Pinkereditor Stan Carey, and Tim Dowling, a journalist for The Guardian.

The Jolly Green Giant rule:

The rule is that multiple adjectives are always ranked accordingly: opinion, size, age, shape, colour, origin, material, purpose. Unlike many laws of grammar or syntax, this one is virtually inviolable, even in informal speech. You simply can’t say My Greek Fat Big Wedding, or leather walking brown boots. And yet until last week, I had no idea such a rule existed. Tim Dowling, for The Guardian, 13 September 2016. [1]

My editor often finds and points out words whose order must be rearranged to sound natural. Some sentences seem clumsy when she reads them because when I first wrote that section, I was going too fast and put my words in the wrong order.

I didn’t notice it during the revision process. Some hokey phrasing goes unnoticed by me through upwards of six revisions.

Why do we overlook typos and errors in our work? StudySkills.com tells us:

… the more familiar our brains are with the content in print, the less we are able to focus on details. It’s how our brains are designed to work. We often cannot see our own writing mistakes. (Susan Kruger Winter, CEO & Founder of SOAR Learning, Inc. Why We Can’t See Our Own (Writing) Mistakes, 22 July 2018) [2]

It happens because, in the first draft, I am madly getting the words out of my head. My ability to use a pen or run the keyboard can’t keep up with the stream of words falling from my mind.

  • (Wrong) My red large Cadillac is fun to drive.
  • (Right) My large red Cadillacis fun to drive.

Actually, my small blue KIA Soul is fun to drive. (Grandma’s imaginary red Ferrari would be a lot more fun, but no one would be safe on the road.)

powerwordsWordCloudLIRF06192021Muddled phrasings often slip by when I revise my work because my mind sees the words as if they were in the correct order. This is the writer’s curse—the internal editor knows what should be there, and the eye skips over what we actually wrote.

This ability to see our work as if it were finished is a necessary aspect of creativity. We have an image of what it should look like and know what needs to be done to shape it that way. However, after so many hours of laboring on a manuscript, our brains can trick us into seeing what we intended to write, overlooking the flaws.

When I first began writing, I had a naïve belief in the perfection of my work. I was soon shown differently, and (once I grew a thicker skin) I found a good editor.

In every language, native speakers automatically order their words in specific ways. In English, we order them this way:

  1. opinion,
  2. size,
  3. age,
  4. shape,
  5. color,
  6. origin,
  7. material,
  8. purpose

Stephen’s dark blue wool jacket was left behind.

Another rule I love is the Mishmash rule:

“Reduplication” is when a word or part of a word is repeated, sometimes modified, and added to make a longer term, such as aye-aye, mishmash, and hotchpotch. This process can mark plurality or intensify meaning, and it can be used for effect or to generate new words. The added part may be invented or it may be an existing word whose form and sense are a suitable fit. (Stan Carey, A hotchpotch of reduplication, MacMillan Dictionary Blog 2012.) [3]

mish-mash-ruleI adore mishmash words. They’re poetic and musical and roll off the tongue with a satisfying rhythm. Sadly, while I regularly bore my grandchildren with them, I hardly ever get to write them. Mishmash. Hip-hop.

The Hip-Hop rule:

Have you ever wondered why we say fiddle-faddle and not faddle-fiddle? Why is it ping-pong and pitter-patter rather than pong-ping and patter-pitter? Why dribs and drabs rather than vice versa? Why can’t a kitchen be span and spic? Whence riff-raff, mishmash, flim-flam, chit-chat, tit for tat, knick-knack, zig-zag, sing-song, ding-dong, King Kong, criss-cross, shilly-shally, seesaw, hee-haw, flip-flop, hippity-hop, tick-tock, tic-tac-toe, eeny-meeny-miney-moe, bric-a-brac, clickey-clack, hickory-dickory-dock, kit and kaboodle, and bibbity-bobbity-boo? The answer is that the vowels for which the tongue is high and in the front always come before the vowels for which the tongue is low and in the back. (Pinker, The Language Instinct, 1994:167) [4]

Verbs are power words. The order in which we place them affects how readers see our work. Sometimes we frontload our sentences with fluff: In any situation, Charlotte runs toward danger.

Moving the action to the beginning of the sentence and losing a few words makes it stronger. Nouns followed by verbs make active prose: Charlotte runs toward danger, never away.

First drafts are the place where we might write something like: Running toward danger, Charlotte was happy. This kind of awkwardness says what we mean but does it poorly. It might slip through many revisions because the internal editor rearranges them correctly, and we don’t see it as written.

WordItOut-word-cloud-4074543“Ing” words are a terrible temptation to those of us raised on Tolkien. He was writing a century ago, but that style of lush prose has fallen out of fashion. We open the gate to all sorts of verbal mayhem when we lead off with an “ing” word at the front of a sentence.

So, you now have a mishmash of words and a bunch of rules that native speakers of English use without consciously thinking about it. Wonky word order is one more thing to watch for when revising our manuscript.

But it’s easier to notice strange syntax when we are reading another author’s work.


CREDITS AND ATTRIBUTIONS:

[1] Tim Dowling, Order force: the old grammar rule we all obey without realizing, © The Guardian 2016, https://www.theguardian.com/commentisfree/2016/sep/13/sentence-order-adjectives-rule-elements-of-eloquence-dictionary (accessed 13 January 2023).

[2] Susan Kruger Winter, CEO & Founder of SOAR Learning, Inc. Why We Can’t See Our Own (Writing) Mistakes, 22 July 2018 (accessed 13 January 2023).

[3] Stan Carey, A hotchpotch of reduplication, MacMillan Dictionary Blog 2012 © Macmillan Publishers Limited 2009-2023. http://www.macmillandictionaryblog.com/a-hotchpotch-of-reduplication (accessed 13 January 2023).

[4] Steven Pinker, The Language Instinct, Pinker, Steven. 1994. The Language Instinct. New York: HarperPerennial.

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Book Review:  The Hunter’s Apprentice: A Keltin Moore Adventure by Lindsay Schopfer

Today I am reviewing The Hunter’s Apprentice: A Keltin Moore Adventure by Lindsay Schopfer. As my longtime friends will tell you, I never review a book I didn’t honestly like.

magicI have been following the adventures of Keltin Moore and his friends since the first novel, The Beast Hunter: A Keltin Moore Adventure came out. It is a compelling series, and I have become quite fond of one particular character, Jaylocke.

But First, the Blurb:

Can the beast hunter’s apprentice prove his worth?

Professional monster hunter Keltin Moore has worked hard to teach his trade to Jaylocke, his good friend and apprentice. But the time for teaching is over when Jaylocke receives word that the woman of his dreams may marry someone else if he cannot prove to his people that he has mastered his trade.

Together, master and apprentice must assemble their friends and travel the fabled Salt Road to the annual Gathering of the Weycliff wayfarers. But there’s more than a simple test of skill awaiting them among the mysterious, nomadic people. Bitter rivalries and titanic beasts will put Keltin’s talents as hunter, teacher, and friend to the test as Jaylocke struggles to prepare for the most important trial of his life.

This is the fourth installment of the award-winning Adventures of Keltin Moore, a series of steampunk-flavored fantasy novels. If you love compelling characters, fantastic creatures, and intense action then you will love these stories!

***

My Review:

BookCover FinalBeasts and weaponry abound in this installment of Keltin Moore’s adventures. The story opens with Keltin trying to keep his fledgling business afloat and pay the bill it incurs. It details the journey of his apprentice, Jaylocke. Jaylocke is a Weycliffe Wayfarer, a young man seeking to regain his status within his clan, by participating in a ritual called the Proving.

Elaine Destov, one of my favorite characters, is Keltin’s romantic interest. She becomes his office manager.

Jaylocke’s storyline shows his growth into true Weycliffe adulthood. I like that Schopfer did not take the apprentice’s story in an expected direction. The character arcs of both Keltin and Jaylocke are fully developed, and the conclusion of this novel thoughtful and realistic.

Each of the sentient races have personalities and societies that are unique. Prejudice, racial discrimination, the way the different peoples interact with each other when living in another race’s community is shown with compassion.

One aspect of Schopfer’s writing that appeals to me is his ability to show the world his characters inhabit by having them interact with it as a matter of course – it just is, and it’s all they know.

All in all, if you like action adventure with an old west flair, I highly recommend this installment in the Beast Hunter series.

***

Lindsay SchopferLindsay Schopfer is the award-winning author of The Adventures of Keltin Moore, a series of steampunk-flavored fantasy novels about a professional monster hunter. He also wrote the sci-fi survivalist novel Lost Under Two Moons and the fantasy short story collection Magic, Mystery and Mirth. Lindsay’s workshops and seminars on the craft of writing have been featured in a variety of Cons and writing conferences across the Pacific Northwest  and beyond.

Lindsay’s Social Media Links

Author Website:  www.lindsayschopfer.com

Amazon Author Page: http://www.amazon.com/Lindsay-Schopfer/e/B007EF3MQS

Twitter: https://twitter.com/LindsaySchopfer

Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/lindsayschopfer

Goodreads: https://www.goodreads.com/author/show/7078379.Lindsay_Schopfer

Patreon: https://www.patreon.com/lindsayschopfer?ty=h

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#FineArtFriday: John Constable – Helmingham Dell

John_Constable_-_Helmingham_Dell_-_WGA5193Artist: John Constable (1776–1837)

Title: Helmingham Dell

Genre: landscape art

Date: first half of 19th century

Medium: oil on canvas

Dimensions: height: 103 cm (40.5 in); width: 129 cm (50.7 in)

Collection: Louvre Museum

Current location: Department of Paintings of the Louvre

What I love about this image:

For those of us who write fantasy set in low-tech worlds, this is a view of how people bridged a creek for thousands of years, using the materials at hand. The scene is beautiful, cool and serene. One can hear the quiet murmur of the brook, the calls of different birds, and the chatter of squirrels arguing over their territories.

But at night, the silence is broken by the occasional hoot of an owl, and the rustle of underbrush as the small nocturnal creatures go about their business. A fox might wander through the dell, looking for a meal.

The amazing sky can be seen through the leaves and branches. John Constable gives us a lovely day, a moment of serenity to enjoy across the centuries.

About the Artist, via Wikipedia:

John Constable RA , 11 June 1776 – 31 March 1837) was an English landscape painter in the Romantic tradition. Born in Suffolk, he is known principally for revolutionising the genre of landscape painting with his pictures of Dedham Vale, the area surrounding his home – now known as “Constable Country” – which he invested with an intensity of affection. “I should paint my own places best”, he wrote to his friend John Fisher in 1821, “painting is but another word for feeling”.

Constable’s most famous paintings include Wivenhoe Park (1816), Dedham Vale (1821) and The Hay Wain (1821). Although his paintings are now among the most popular and valuable in British art, he was never financially successful. He became a member of the establishment after he was elected to the Royal Academy of Arts at the age of 52. His work was embraced in France, where he sold more than in his native England and inspired the Barbizon school. [1]


Credits and Attributions:

Image: Wikimedia Commons contributors, “File:John Constable – Helmingham Dell – WGA5193.jpg,” Wikimedia Commons, https://commons.wikimedia.org/w/index.php?title=File:John_Constable_-_Helmingham_Dell_-_WGA5193.jpg&oldid=723632044 (accessed May 25, 2023).

[1] Wikipedia contributors, “John Constable,” Wikipedia, The Free Encyclopedia, https://en.wikipedia.org/w/index.php?title=John_Constable&oldid=1152514837 (accessed May 25, 2023).

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Guest post: Five Things I Learned While Writing The Adventures of Keltin Moore by Lindsay Schopfer

As my regular readers know, my husband and I are in the process of moving from our home of eighteen years to an apartment, and time is short. So, while I am neck deep in paring down my possessions, sci-fi and fantasy author, Lindsay Schopfer, has kindly agreed to help me out today. I’ve attended several seminars presented by him, and think you’ll enjoy this post. I really like his work and am looking forward to the launch of the third book in his Beast Hunter series, which happens on Friday.

Take it away, Lindsay!


BookCover FinalIt’s been over ten years since I first started writing my series about the adventures of a professional monster hunter. With the release of The Hunter’s Apprentice as the fourth installment in the series, I thought I’d take a little time to reflect on some of the things I’ve learned while writing these stories over the last decade.

An Appreciation for Steampunk

When I first started writing Keltin’s adventures, I struggled to find a suitable name for the genre I was working in. Despite the stories’ fanciful monsters and subtle magic system, there was something in the technology and aesthetic of the world that suggested something a little different from a standard epic fantasy environment. After some searching, I stumbled on steampunk as a genre and a community and quickly embraced them both. That being said, I’ll admit that my stories are more rural than most of the Victorian, urban settings found in typical steampunk fiction, which is why I’ve taken to calling my stories steampunk-flavored fantasy. Regardless, I am still immensely grateful to have discovered the world of steampunk, and I will always be grateful to have been adopted into this creative and friendly community.

How to Pan for Gold

In book two of the series, Keltin and his friends go Into the North to protect prospectors from all sorts of monsters during a Yukon-inspired gold rush. In an effort to add an air of authenticity to the book, I decided to talk with an experienced gold panner and practice the art of prospecting a little bit. While I may not have struck it rich, I was inspired by the experience and the thrill of seeing that flash of gold amongst the silt.

The History and Mechanics of Firearms

the beast hunterOne of my most treasured experiences in writing The Adventures of Keltin Moore has been meeting the fantastic subject experts in the course of my research. I already mentioned panning for gold, but there have been so many more generous, enthusiastic people I’ve spoken to on subjects ranging from big game hunters to horse-pulled wagons. In particular, I feel blessed to have known Gordon and Nancy Frye. The Fryes are a fantastic wealth of historical information, particularly regarding the development and implementation of firearms over the centuries. If you ever read something in my stories and thought that something involving guns was particularly cool, you can probably thank the Fryes for contributing to it!

How to be an Author

The Keltin Moore Online Serial came out before I’d even published my first novel, and I’ve been working on Keltin’s adventures ever since. Over the course of writing this series, I’ve learned how to craft, revise, format, publish, and market my books. I’ve learned how to work with cover artists, how to price my books, and how to pitch them at book dealer events. The Adventures of Keltin Moore have been the vehicle that have carried me through the majority of my career as an independent author thus far, and for that, I am deeply indebted to these stories.

How to Keep Having Fun While Writing

The inspiration for Keltin Moore came as a quirky little idea, and the stories were more for my benefit than anyone else’s, especially at first. Despite a long publication history and a growing community of amazing fans, Keltin’s stories have remained very personal to me. Years ago, I gave myself permission to write stories that I enjoyed, and I’ve held myself to that commitment ever since. I write my stories for myself first, focusing on characters, plots, and settings that inspire, uplift, and entertain me. The Adventures of Keltin Moore do all of that for me and more, and I’m so grateful that so many fans feel the same way.

***

If you’d like to begin your own adventures with Keltin, be sure to start where it all began with The Beast Hunter: A Keltin Moore Adventure.


Lindsay SchopferLindsay Schopfer is the award-winning author of The Adventures of Keltin Moore, a series of steampunk-flavored  fantasy novels about a professional monster hunter. He also wrote the sci-fi survivalist novel Lost Under Two Moons and the fantasy short story collection Magic, Mystery and Mirth. Lindsay’s workshops and seminars on the craft of writing have been featured in a variety of Cons and writing conferences across the Pacific Northwest  and beyond.

Lindsay’s Social Media Links

Author Website:  www.lindsayschopfer.com

Amazon Author Page: http://www.amazon.com/Lindsay-Schopfer/e/B007EF3MQS

Twitter: https://twitter.com/LindsaySchopfer

Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/lindsayschopfer

Goodreads: https://www.goodreads.com/author/show/7078379.Lindsay_Schopfer

Patreon: https://www.patreon.com/lindsayschopfer?ty=h

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My Writing Life – packing up and moving on #amwriting

We who write must also live in the real world. Sometimes things go smoothly, other times not. Let me just say that moving to a new place has really shown me what hoarders my hubby and I are. You can acquire a large pile of cheap Chinese junk if you stay in one place for eighteen years.

MyWritingLife2021BThe movers came on Friday to take what furniture we could gracefully fit into the new apartment. They loaded the van far more quickly than I thought they would. The main hiccup in that day came in the form of the elevator in our building. We are in building C but must go in through the main lobby in building B, take the elevator to our floor, and cross to our building via the sky bridge. It’s a long trek.

Worst of all, the elevator for building C is across the hall from our door.

Now the real work begins. We must finish emptying the house, so we will travel back and forth for the next week and a half.

On Saturday, we began the necessary repairs to the house. Our repairman is a lovely man named Brian. He replaced the fanlight on the back porch. He also mended and repainted the front steps.

We sort through the debris of our lives, pick what we know we have room for, and I stuff the car. Greg does as much as he can, and we are exhausted by the day’s end.

Hydrangea_cropped_July_11_2017_copyright_cjjasperson_2017 copyOver the next week, we have to donate as much as possible to be reused, and the rest will be hauled away by the junk removal company. They will not only take the junk but also clean the garage floor. (!!!)

After that, the house cleaners will do their best to make our old place look good.

The sprinkler repair people will also be out that day.

Finally, the carpet cleaners will attempt to make the fitted carpet we never wanted in the first place look passable.

At some point, I will have to shop for food, as we do need to eat. My new kitchen is functional, but I must pare down what was already pared down to keep it that way.

On June 1st, the house will officially be for sale.

Worst of all, we had an unusually early heatwave, with temperatures in the high eighties and low nineties and high humidity. (30 or so, Celsius.) Even with my hot pink beach wagon, making two or three trips to empty the car is exhausting. It began cool down to normal temps on Sunday, and fingers crossed, we hope the weather will stay that way.

Once the elevator in my building is repaired, that will be less of a problem. It will happen as soon as the company can get the parts.

BackYardMay202020On the good side, it is easy to write here. I have been writing bits and bobs here and there on old unfinished manuscripts between bursts of unpacking, writing whenever I sit down to rest my back. It keeps me from fidgeting.

This next week is crammed full of things we must do, but we are getting it done, one piece at a time.

In the meantime, have a great week, and may your words flow freely.

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