Category Archives: Adventure

May 21, 2014 · 6:19 am

Fantasy and the cold hard truth

Saint_Alban_(cropped)In a good novel, there is a moment where the interactions between certain characters can become highly charged, fraught with anger and other intense emotions. That is the case with what I am writing now:  three of my characters spent a long time fighting alongside each other, brothers and sisters in arms, completely dependent on each other.

They have a long history. Several terrible incidents occurred during the war they once fought that they don’t understand, and which created a rift between them. Some of their close companions were killed under bad circumstances (are there ever any good ones?) and each of my characters suffers a little survivor’s guilt.

After the war, they went their separate ways and for the last 25 years, have rarely seen each other or spoken. They all bear a burden of responsibility for things they can’t change, and their lives are affected by this, although they don’t know why. For each of them, their anger and remorse are expressed in different ways.

Two of them can’t be in the same room for long without trying to kill each other.

One character in particular suffers disturbing recurring flashbacks, avoidance or numbing of memories of the event, and what we call ‘fight or flight syndrome,’ the uncontrollable urge to either fight or flee. These characters all three demonstrate varying degrees of avoidance,  withdrawal, aggressive defense, or in one case, complete frozen immobility. Certain memories trigger these behaviors, and now all three are being forced to face their demons.

My challenge is to bring these people back together with sensitivity and realism, in order to advance my story, and use only 1/3 of the allotted word-count for this book.

Does this sound like Post Traumatic Stress Disorder (PTSD)? You’re right. For more information on PTSD, see an article  on the website, Military Pathways, and this news article aired by CBS on their show, 60Minutes.

Because it’s a new term, I can’t refer to this ‘injury of the spirit’ as PTSD in my manuscript. But I can give it another name and air both the symptoms and the sometimes life-long problems untreated PTSD causes.

GeorgeSPatton - WikipediaMy father, and my uncles all suffered from this long after World War II ended. In many ways it has shaped our post WWII society. Our fathers were told to just shut up and  get on with their lives–something that is not always an easy thing. Alcoholism and domestic abuse lay just under the surface of many families in our community, hidden but there.

Prior to World War I, the U.S. Army considered the symptoms of battle fatigue to be cowardice or attempts to avoid combat duty. While the causes, symptoms, and effects of the condition were familiar to physicians, it was generally less understood in military circles. General George Patton garnered substantial controversy after he slapped two United States Army soldiers under his command during the Sicily Campaign of World War II.

It was common for soldiers who reported these symptoms to receive harsh treatment. At the time of the slapping incidents, the two soldiers Patton assaulted were suffering from “battle fatigue,” otherwise known as “shell shock” or “battle stress.” Today, this condition is characterized as a form of PTSD, which can result from prolonged severe exposure to death and destruction, among many other traumatic events.

220px-Sir_Galahad_(Watts)

Even though I write fantasy, the reactions of my characters to certain situations has to be realistic, and that is where a good grasp of what really happens to our vets comes in handy. Post Traumatic Stress Disorder (PTSD) is real and affects our returning veterans. More must be done to help ease our military wounded back into society, but generally speaking we pay more lip-service to that problem than we do tax dollars.

We write about incredible personal challenges, because they make great stories. But what about the people who live through those moments? How do they quietly go back to the farm once the war is over, and pretend it never happened? This is what I am writing about now, and it has been an emotional journey for me as as an author and a human being. Everyday, our paths are crossed by men and women living with PTSD caused by a variety of terrible circumstances,  They are just ordinary people trying to keep their lives together, not understanding why they sometimes do the things they do, and wondering why things just keep going to hell all around them.

 

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May 16, 2014 · 6:05 am

Edmonds Beach

Edmunds Beach 2, Puget Sound, May 15, 2014Yesterday was the annual field trip with my grandson’s class.  This time I didn’t get to ride on the bus (thank all the stars in heaven) but we did meet the classes down at Edmonds Beach on Puget Sound, in Washington State.  Edmonds is located in the central Puget Sound Basin.

 

Map-pugetsound wikepediaPuget Sound is a unique, complex series of saltwater estuaries and deep channels at the southern end of the Salish Sea, protected from the North Pacific by the Olympic Penninsula, Vancouver Island, and the San Juan Islands. The ecology is a fragile system, relying on the cold but protected salt water. The United States Geological Survey (USGS) defines Puget Sound as a bay with numerous channels and branches; more specifically, it is a fjord system of flooded glacial valleys.

 

The creatures we saw were sea anemones, moon snails, hermit crabs, sea stars, and dungeness crabs.

MOON SNAILS? Anything called moon snails must be awesome! See the video here: Jonas talks about Moon Snails on YouTube

 

Edmunds Beach 3, Puget Sound, May 15, 2014

We loved watching the ferries arriving and departing at Edmond’s Dock.  Washington State Ferries is a passenger and automobile ferry service owned and operated by the Washington State Department of Transportation that serves communities on Puget Sound and in the San Juan Islands. It is the largest passenger and automobile ferry fleet in the United States and the third largest in the world by fleet size. The service is also the largest in the world based on the number of vehicles carried, having carried 11 million annually.

 

450px-KalakalaSeeing the Spokane departing for Kingston on and returning reminded me of being a kid, and sailing on the Kalakala, which was the most awesome ferry ever. It was as modern and streamlined as a space ship, and was a unique part of Puget Sound maritime history.

We walked up the beach and down the beach a kajillion times, and ate our picnic lunches. It was an awesome day.

All I know is, grandma is still tired and has sand in her shoes. She may need another nap.

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May 12, 2014 · 10:03 am

The road to perdition

I just attempted to read a book.  I say ‘attempted.’ It may have been based on an intriguing idea, and there might have been wonderful characters, but I wouldn’t know, because after three pages of reading, I had to set that travesty aside. Every sentence began with a GERUND.

Gerunds, © Connie J. Jasperson 2014

Now I know how this happens.  New authors who spend a lot of time in writing forums and writing groups, and who have had their work trashed by the group guru as being passive might see using gerunds as a way to generate action in their narrative.

dachshund.04But Mama, what’s a gerund?  Is it like a dachshund?

No dear, gerunds are not like dachshunds, although both are insidious minions of evil that manage to work their way into … where was I? Oh yes, gerunds.

ger·und

ˈjerənd

noun
  1. a form that is derived from a verb but that functions as a noun, in English ending in -ing, e.g., asking in do you mind my asking you

SO a gerund is a verb is a noun that acts like a verb that acts like a noun.

Now that I have cleared that up, what is it really?  A gerund is not like a normal noun because a gerund can take a direct object (just like a verb can).

Basically, they are ING words—DOING words that when you combine them with possessive words such as his, my, him and their, can become nouns.

Writing – He is writing.  (it’s a verb)  I like his writing. (it’s a noun)

Running – The dogs were running. (verb)   The child’s running through the house aggravated me. (noun)

BUT wait—gerunds can also be participles?–oh, those cross-dressing fiends!

Participle phrases always function as adjectives, adding description to the sentence without resorting to that most heinous of writing-group crimes, the dreaded ‘ly’ words ( Satan, get thee away from me):

The child running across the lawn hopes you have brought him a present.

Running across the lawn modifies the noun child.

I could get really technical here and talk infinitives and prepositions–but we just want to get to the writing do-and-don’t part.  Do use them when they are necessary, and  don’t use too many. Remember it’s all about balance. Your narrative is like a ship and words are ballast–get too much on one side and suddenly your ship is at the bottom of Lake Erie.

Gerund phrases and present participle phrases are easy to confuse because they both begin with an ing word. The difference is that a gerund phrase will always function as a noun while a present participle phrase describes another word in the sentence.

SO how are ING words properly used when writing narrative? In my opinion, they should only rarely be used to begin phrases. Confusion abounds when we are too free with them, as they ruin the flow of the narrative for the casual reader.

When you are writing the first draft, none of this matters, because all that matters at that point is getting the story out of your head and onto the paper. HOWEVER, when you are working on the second draft of your manuscript, keep this in mind:

  • Adding excessive words to your narrative will result in a passive narrative. Using gerunds to begin your phrases will not turn a passive voice into an active voice. Instead, you must trim out the unnecessary words, because using active voice for the majority of your sentences makes your meaning clear for readers, and keeps them from becoming too complicated or wordy.

Relying on gerunds to create active phrases and avoid accusations of the dreaded passive writing is taking the road to perdition my friends, because just like any other grammatical crutch,  gerunds are the devil when used improperly.

>>>—<<<

 And on a different note–Last Monday I posted on My Writing Process — and today, Stephen Swartz and Shaun Allan have posted their blogs detailing their own writing processes:

Stephen Swartz can be found at Deconstruction of the Sekuatean Empire

Shaun Allan can be found at Flip and Catch

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May 10, 2014 · 6:56 am

Lindsay Schopfer, ‘The Beast Hunter’ launch

The Beast Hunter, Lindsay SchopferToday, Lindsay Schopfer, well-known Pacific Northwest author of science fiction and fantasy, instructor, and writing coach has consented to answer a few questions for us. His second book, The Beast Hunter is launching today, and I’ve been privileged to read an advance copy of it. If you are looking for an action-adventure in set in another world, brimming with political and personal intrigue, this is the book for you!

CJJ: Lindsay, you were one of my daughter Meg’s closest friends in high school. I’ve followed your career from the early days of your first play, “Techies,” knowing you had a wonderful future in writing ahead of you. Your own real life tale has been a wonderful journey, so tell us a little of early life and how you began writing:

LS: I started writing as a little kid, and I guess some people would have called me a prodigy. I wrote and produced my first full-length stage-play at 13, and went on to do five more, including two runs of “Techies.” After high school, I took a break from writing and spent two years as a service missionary on the Navajo Reservation in New Mexico. That experience, coupled with a health condition which could randomly cause me to be paralyzed for hours at a time, taught me important lessons of hardship, hope, and love.

I went to film school in Canada for a year, thinking that I would continue my passion for acting and directing, but I eventually realized that I just wouldn’t be able to tell the fanciful stories in my head unless I put them into novels. While I still daydream about film adaptations of my stories, I have to say that I’m very happy with my work and life right now.

CJJ: My favorite Lindsay Schopfer quote says it all, “I only write when I’m inspired, and I make sure I’m inspired every morning at 9 a.m.”  How do you channel the randomness of inspiration into an appointment?

LS: Actually, that quote originally comes from Peter De Vries, but it’s something that I try to live by as well. For me, turning on my inspiration means creating a mental place where I feel safe to be creative. I map out the times of day I have available when I seem to be the most productive and set them aside. I listen to music that fits my mood and the kind of writing I’ll be doing. I also try to remember that I can write whatever story I want to, so that I enjoy my work rather than feel confined by it. Ultimately, if I make writing my break from the world, then I don’t feel the need to take a break from my writing.

Lost Under Two moons, Lindsay SchopferCJJ: I read Lost Under Two Moons, and really enjoyed it. I find that your work is well-structured, with creative environments, good tension, and deep characters. Do you have a specific ‘Creative Process’ that you follow, such as outlining or do you ‘wing it’?

LS: My ideas for stories usually come in two parts, the beginning and the ending. Once I have those two points established in my mind, writing the novel is just a matter of connecting those two dots. I don’t do a lot of outlining because I find that I start to lose interest in a story if I feel ‘chained’ to a guideline I’ve set for myself. I do enjoy doing world-building early on, though I usually just sketch out enough details to get me started and only add to it if I get stuck. Of course, once the first draft is done, I always go back and fill out the rest of my backstory and world-building notes, but that’s usually a case of noting what I came up with as I was writing and trying to maintain continuity throughout the story.

CJJ: You are highly involved with the Pacific Northwest Writers Association, which I am also a member of. You gave a workshop on May 2nd, regarding turning off the inner critic. What advice would you give new authors, who may be struggling with this common problem?

LS: Like I said earlier, turning off the inner critic and getting inspired is a matter of creating a place where you feel safe to write. For some people, this means writing when you’re not fully awake. I do my best writing at three different times, when I first wake up, at around two in the afternoon (siesta time), and just before bed. Another way to turn off the inner critic that’s especially useful to new authors is to work on multiple projects at a time. Too many first-time authors have this mindset that they have to put all their good ideas into their first novel, or that the first book has to be perfect. By working on more than one project at a time, the writer is constantly reminded that she will have more chances than just this one book, which can be a common anxiety. Having a second project also means that you have a creativity lifeboat, and if you get writer’s block on one project you can “run away from it” and yet still be writing until you’re ready to go back.

CJJ: I absolutely agree, and I usually have three projects going at a time myself. So, I know why I chose the indie route for my work, but I’m curious as to why you’ve chosen this path.

LS: Actually, I never intended to be an indie author. When I finished Lost Under Two Moons, I pitched it to agents for a while before releasing it as an EBook and later in print. My decision to indie-publish that novel came mainly from a desire to start selling books and establishing a market for myself. I wanted credibility as a generative artist, and to be honest I felt like that happened once I finally had a book people could buy and read.

The Beast Hunter was also originally intended for a traditional publishing route. In 2012 I went to PNWA’s summer conference and asked agents what it would take to become a hot commodity to them. The answer I got was that I needed a built-in fan base, so I wrote The Beast Hunter online serial. Once I had the fan base, I went back in 2013 with my completed novel and loyal readers, and pitched it. I was shocked that the same agents who had encouraged me to do the serial now said I had ruined my chances for success with this book because I had already “saturated the market”, though I’d like to think that there are plenty of people who would like The Beast Hunter who haven’t read the serial! I decided to keep the serial going as a way to reward loyal fans, and indie-publishing the novel seemed like the best way to tie-in the serial with my novels.

I haven’t given up on traditional publishing. I have two additional book series that I’m working on that will be intended for a traditional book deal. I’m hoping that the exclusivity of these stories combined with the fan base from my indie publishing will finally allow me to be a hybrid author with both traditionally and independently published books.

CJJ: That is a great plan of action—one that addresses negotiating both sides of the publishing dilemma.  What advice would you offer an author trying to decide whether to go indie or take the traditional path?

LS: Don’t give up on traditional publishing. While the industry is still trying to figure out how to handle the electronic revolution, it is filled with very intelligent professionals that really know the business of selling books. On the other hand, I don’t think writers should give the industry any more power than it already has. An author desperate for representation and publication is an easily exploitable resource. I would advise authors to try for traditional publishing first, but don’t be overly eager. Remember that the greatest power you have is to say no, no to an agent that isn’t good for you, no to a publisher that won’t push your book, no to a book-deal that demands too many rights. Keep that in mind, and if you feel like your project isn’t right for traditional, go indie.

CJJ: Your new book, The Beast Hunter is launching today. This is a book with an interesting history! Tell us a little about it and how it came to be.

LS: The Beast Hunter actually started as a 1,000 word flash fiction story that I wrote more as an exercise for myself than anything else. I wanted to see if I could write an action sequence, something I hadn’t tried doing in my fantasy writing since becoming serious about pursuing a career as a novelist. At the time, I was playing a steampunk CRPG called Arcanum Of Steamworks & Magic Obscura, so I decided to try writing about a hunter using 19th century technology to bring down a monster.

I liked the result, and decided to expand on the character of Keltin Moore by continuing his adventures in a free, online serial.  A little more than a year later I’d finished the first season and The Beast Hunter had gained an international following. It’s kind of funny, because for a long time this story was my side-project, something that I wrote on to relax and just enjoy writing. To see it in print now is kind of like inviting all the world to play make-believe with me, and I’m excited to continue the adventure.

CJJ: Lindsay, thank you so much for being here today! I must say, I am looking forward to hearing your presentation at the PNWA convention on July 18, 2014 on UNLOCKING CHARACTER MOTIVATION.  I will be taking notes!

The Beast Hunter Books For Africa Fundraiser Event

To celebrate the launch of his latest book, Lindsay has decided to donate one dollar to Books For Africa for each verified copy of The Beast Hunter that is sold in the next two months!

Here’s how it works. Purchase The Beast Hunter in paperback or EBook form and then take a picture of yourself with your new book. Post that picture on this event page, and Lindsay will make a donation. Only one donation per copy of The Beast Hunter.

Books for Africa is an organization with just one goal: to end the book famine in Africa. BFA is the largest shipper of donated text and library books to the African Continent, and has a 4-star rating from Charity Navigator, America’s largest charity evaluator. A donation of 50 cents is enough to send a book to a child in Africa. For more about this amazing organization, check out http://www.booksforafrica.org.

 

Lindsay SchopferAbout Lindsay Schopfer:

Lindsay Schopfer is the author of the rural steampunk adventure novel The Beast Hunter (2014) and the fantasy adventure novel Lost Under Two Moons (2012) . His short fiction has also appeared in The Daily Times, an international newspaper based in Pakistan. When he isn’t writing, Lindsay is a writing coach and instructor for Adventures In Writing, where he helps writers learn about and improve their craft.  He is also a mentor for Educurious, a Gates Foundation-funded program designed to connect high school students with professional writers.

Lindsay’s books are available at amazon.com and through his website, http://www.lindsayschopfer.com

You can also sign up for his wonderful workshops through his website at Adventures in Writing, http://www.yourwritingadventure.com

 

 

 

 

 

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May 5, 2014 · 6:37 am

My Writing Process Blog Tour

extra small caricature of connie by street artist Stacey Denton

Today I am embarking on the  “My Writing Process” blog tour! In this blog relay, each author discusses his or her writing process and then passes the baton to three other authors. Last week, my good friend Lisa Koosis, passed the baton to me. Lisa is amazingly creative, as you will see when you click on the link to her blog, Writing on Thin Ice.  Please, do visit her blog, where you can read more about her exciting projects and her own writing process.

So, here goes…

1. What am I working on?

I am working on the third and final book in the TOWER OF BONES series, winding up Edwin’s story. This book has been very tough to write, because it keeps spawning new books! I can frequently be heard shouting, “NO! We must finish this book before we embark on a new one!”

I really do want Edwin Farmer’s story to be a 3-book trilogy.

*cough* Robert Jordan…Wheel of Time …fifteen books in the trilogy*cough*

There will be more books set in this world, I feel certain of it, but I intend to make each a stand alone book.  I love each of the characters so much in this tale, it’s hard to keep on task—but my self-imposed deadline is to have it ready for the editor by August. 

2. How does my work differ from others of its genre? Why do I write what I do?

First of all, I write from the point of view of a gamer—I am a freak for the great Final Fantasy PS2 and PS3 console games—Final Fantasy VII, VII, X/X2 and XII are among the great classics in gaming. I haven’t invested in a PS4, and I may not, as I haven’t had much time to play lately, and wasn’t impressed with 2010’s FFXIII.

I know what I love about those games, and want to inject that into my books. I want the action, the romance, and the drama of a full throttle action/adventure and I want it set in a sweeping landscape, with my characters beset by nearly insurmountable challenges. Magic must have limits and no character can have unlimited power. Those limitations are what drive the action, because the characters have to struggle to overcome them. The power of the story is in the struggle. The final redemption must be worth the struggle!

3. How does my writing process work? 

That’s where I went off the rails on this final installment in this particular series—I didn’t stick to my usual process, which was clearly outlined. But I had so many sudden brainstorms, I went way off track. Normally, when I first have the idea to write a book, I visualize it as the walkthrough for an RPG game.

I spend days writing down the ideas as they come to me, obsessively building the outline, the shell of the story. I make personnel files, descriptions of environments, designing the political and religious systems, creating the rules for magic, and drawing maps. Each world is unique, and I want to know what I am writing about.

I write the beginning and the end, and key action vignettes, fitting them into the framework of my outline.

Once I have that all done, I start at the beginning, and write, connecting the dots between the vignettes. When all the dots are connected, I have a book—albeit a raw rough draft of a book. I set it aside, as it is in desperate need of a complete rewrite, but I can’t do that until I can see it through unbiased eyes.

The second draft goes to Irene Roth Luvaul, who helps me shape it into a submission-ready manuscript. Then it will go to Carlie M.A. Cullen at Eagle Eye Editors. My work is linear, with a specific goal or “quest” and many obstacles in the way of achieving those goals. Some will live, and some will fall by the way—my task is to make it an emotionally gripping journey for the reader.

 

NEXT WEEK

Stay tuned for the next part of the relay as I pass the baton to three talented writers, who I have the good fortune of working with at Myrddin Publishing Group. Next Monday (May 12) they will answer the same set of questions, so please stop by their blogs to read more about their projects and their own writing processes.

 

Dark Places Front Large (1)Shaun Allan, Author of Sin and Dark Places

http://flipandcatch.blogspot.com

A creator of many prize winning short stories and poems, Shaun Allan has written for more years than he would perhaps care to remember. Having once run an online poetry and prose magazine, he has appeared on Sky television to debate, against a major literary agent, the pros and cons of internet publishing as opposed to the more traditional method. Many of his personal experiences and memories are woven into the point of view and sense of humour of Sin, the main character in his best-selling novel of the same name, although he can’t, at this point, teleport.

A writer of multiple genres, including horror, humour and children’s fiction, Shaun goes where the Muse takes him – even if that is kicking and screaming.

Shaun lives with his one partner, two daughters, three cats and four fish!  Oh and a dog.

 

1 CP Night Watchman coverAllison Deluca, Author of The Crown Phoenix Series

http://AlisonDeluca.Blogspot.com

Alison DeLuca is the author of several steampunk and urban fantasy books.  She was born in Arizona and has also lived in Pennsylvania, Illinois, Mexico, Ireland, and Spain.

Currently she wrestles words and laundry in New Jersey.

 

 

 

 

Swartz_After Ilium_FrontCvr_200dpi_3inStephen Swartz, Author of After Illium, The Dream Land Trilogy, and A Beautiful Chill

http://stephenswartz.blogspot.com

Stephen Swartz grew up in Kansas City where he was an avid reader of science-fiction and quickly began emulating his favorite authors. Since then, Stephen studied music in college and, like many writers, worked at a wide range of jobs: from French fry guy to soldier, to IRS clerk to TV station writer, before heading to Japan for several years of teaching English. Now Stephen is a Professor of English at a university in Oklahoma, where he teaches many kinds of writing. He still can be found obsessively writing his latest manuscript, usually late at night. He has only robot cats.

 

 

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April 15, 2014 · 7:10 am

Hawking Your Wares

Early hot dog merchant, 1936 by Berenice Abbott courtesy EphemeralNewYork.wordpress.com

Early hot dog merchant, 1936 by Berenice Abbott courtesy http://EphemeralNewYork.wordpress.com

Yay! It’s official, I’m an author now!  I wrote a book or four, I had them edited, I covered them, and I had them published.  Now all I have to is sell enough of the darned things and that Hugo award is mine!

So how do we go about that?  There is the tiny problem of that old “getting your name out there” thing…I stink at that.

Roy Huff, author of the Everville series, regularly uses Goodreads to publicize his work. All his Goodreads connections received emails last week like this:

EVERVILLE Roy HuffRoy has modified the event Everville (#3) TheRiseofMallory 99 cent promo begins Midnight Pacific The First Pillar FREE KINDLE PROMO starts in 12 hours.
Date: April 14, 2014 04:22AM

Description: A new promo has begun. You can join that promo here https://www.goodreads.com/event/show/… feel free to invite others to join. Details are below as well. Thanks so much!

FREE KINDLE PROMO April 15 to April 18th for Everville The First Pillar http://www.amazon.com/dp/B00BCOQSSQ
FREE KINDLE PROMO April 19 to April 22th for Everville The City of Worms [InD’Tale Magazine’s Creme de la Cover March Winner] http://www.amazon.com/dp/B00EQZ5T2E

99 CENT KINDLE COUNTDOWN DEAL April 15 to April 21th for Everville The Rise of Mallory http://www.amazon.com/dp/B00HYN 3NXC

Stay tuned on Facebook @http://on.fb.me/1ni21BT
Stay tuned on Twitter @evervillefans 

Well, I don’t know about you, but that seems like a good promotion to me, and I will be quite interested to see how well things go for him with it. Roy has a lot of connections on Goodreads, and he puts a lot of energy into promoting his work, so maybe he will do well. He has given me something to think about, in regard to the whole giveaway thing. One reason I made Tales From the Dreamtime, which is a novella, into the first of my audiobooks was the hope that it would generate some recognition for my brand, which if you remember, is my Author Name.

Swartz_After Ilium_FrontCvr_200dpi_3inAnother author friend, Stephen Swartz, is promoting his works too. Today is Tax Day in the US, so he is running a twitter campaign:

4/15 TAX DAY SPECIAL! 2 Books! 2 Bucks! ‪#‎Kindle‬ ‪#‎romance‬ 
‪#‎AFTERILIUM‬  http://bit.ly/AfterIlium_US
‪#‎ABEAUTIFULCHILL‬  http://bit.ly/BeautifulChill_US

He didn’t know if Amazon UK will honor the discount, but here are the UK links:

AFTER ILIUM kindle http://www.amazon.co.uk/dp/B009SDW1KC
A BEAUTIFUL CHILL kindle http://www.amazon.co.uk/dp/B00I6M4R9Y

I will also find out from him how well that went.

So, I am going to continue the way I have been, promoting via twitter. I have paid for a Goodreads ad for Huw the Bard, for the next two weeks or so and will let you know how well that went. I will also try the Goodreads promotion route in May, and will keep you posted on that.

 

 

 

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April 7, 2014 · 6:13 am

10 Things to Do—Part 1, The First 5 Speedbumps

shakespeare-word-cloud

There are things that happen in the natural course of writing the first draft that make it painful for people to read. DO NOT SHOW IT TO YOUR ADORING FANS JUST YET. This really is NOT the time to ask for feedback unless you want to be lied to. They will look at you with a possum-in-the-headlights smile, and say “Wow…this is really…nice.”

What they really are thinking is, “Holy s**t. This disjointed, hokey mess sucks.” That friend will poke needles in their eyes before they read another piece of your work again.

Just sayin’.

But even though the first draft is always stinkaroo, don’t try to edit as you write because it interferes with your creative processes and blocks the flow of ideas. While you’re writing the first draft these bloopers should be allowed to just fall where they may, because you just need to get the ideas down.  You will reshape them in the 2nd draft. So, today I’m posting the first half of a two-part series on 10 Things to Do in the second draft of your manuscript.

Before you do anything, just put it to one side. Forget about it for a while.

A month or so later, after you have gained a different perspective is when you begin to look for these problems.  Fine tuning and rephrasing will settle most of them, and a good flamethrower will take care of the rest!

First we will look at:

800px-Singapore_Road_Signs_-_Temporary_Sign_-_Detour.svg1. The Info Dump (my personal failing)

Often new authors feel they need to dump a lot of back story at a novel’s beginning before readers will understand the main story. I did this in my first novel, and I have regretted it ever since! It seems like logical thinking: “Before you get this, you need to know this.” But the problem was, I gave the info dump in the first five pages.  Those are the pages that acquisition editors look at and decide whether or not to continue reading the submission. For those of us planning to go the indie route, those pages are also the pages the prospective buyer sees in the “look inside” option on Amazon dot com.

While back story is important for character and plot building, too much outright “telling” freezes the real-time story in its tracks. And for modern genre fiction, beginnings must be active—they need to move.

Here is the opening paragraph of my next novel in the Tower of Bones series, Mountains of the Moon. It is a prequel to the first two novels, and this is the way it currently reads in its second draft stage. It may be changed once the editor gets her hands on it, but right now this is how it stands with the info dump removed:

Wynn Farmer discovered his old boots had holes worn in the soles when he heard the soft, squishing sound, perfectly in sync with every step he took. If he’d known he would be dropped into some strange world when he left the house, he might have planned ahead a little better and slipped some new cardboard into his boots, just until he could get them resoled. Now he trudged along a faint path through a dark, eerie prairie with wet feet, shivering in the cold, misty rain and completely lost.

In the second draft we alter the original words we wrote, subtly slipping little details into the narrative while showing the real-time story, and doing it in such a way that it is part of the action and the dialogue, fading into the background.  The reader will understand what you are showing them without feeling bludgeoned by it.

 

nausea42. Telling Instead of Showing in Prose (heh, heh–my own personal failing)

In the rush of the first draft, of getting all our thoughts about the storyline down, sometime our minds go faster than we can write. We use a kind of ‘mental shorthand’ and write things such as:

Erving was furious.

Martha was discouraged.

These are really just notes telling us what direction this tale is supposed to go. Modern readers don’t want to be told how the characters felt—they want to see. When you come across this in a novel, it is clear the author has published a first draft.

Thus, when you come across this in your first draft, now is the time to follow those road signs and expand on the scene a little. Instead of telling the reader that Martha was furious, you will show this emotion.

Martha stamped her foot, and clenched her fists.

Erving’s body shook with rage, and his face went white.

Show the reader the emotions. It adds word count, but you will also be taking word count away in other places in the manuscript as you go along.

 

cover_art_Billy_39_s_Revenge3. Using Dialogue to Tell, Not Show (oh yeah–my personal failing)

“I’m simply not going to do it,” Vivian hissed. (Reader: “What, is she a snake?”)

“Why, oh why, did I ever trust her?” Greg said dejectedly. (Reader: “Aw, that’s sad. Boring!”) (Closes book.)

Please, OH please, avoid attaching adverbs ending in “ly” to speech tags. They are the devil!

If you want to convey an attitude in dialogue, the words themselves should communicate it.  Greg’s words already communicate dejection. If you need more, add a line of action:

In low tones, Vivian said, “You couldn’t pay me enough to do that.” She turned and walked away.

Greg threw up his hands. “Why did I trust her?”

This gives readers the opportunity to see for themselves the scene you painted with words.

 

4. A Lack of Contractions in Dialogue (Wait–this is my personal failing too!  What’s going on here?)

“Arrabelle, I do not want you to leave me!”

This is one of the worst NaNoWriMo manuscript flaws BECAUSE when we are in the midst of November, we are desperate for word count. “Don’t use contractions” is one of the prime directives of Chris Baty’s  “No Plot? No Problem” and if word-count is all you are in the game for, then fine.  However, IF you ever intend to publish your work you should use contractions in dialogue. Depending on the type of story you are writing, you may want to use them elsewhere, if that is the style of your work.

This problem may also be a throwback to those days in your high school English class, when teachers deducted points for the use of contractions in term papers. But contractions are effective at conveying realistic speech.

You want dialogue to sound natural? Use contractions.

 

Dialogue Tags © cjjasp 20145. Too Many Speech Tags in Dialogue (Hey–I have that problem too! What the heck…?)

“Jake, are you okay?”  Vaia wailed.

 “Of course I’m all right,” Jake groaned. “What a silly question.”

 “But your arm,” Vaia said. “I thought maybe you…well, the way you’re holding it…I guess I thought—”

 “You thought I’d injured it,” Jake said.

 “Well…yes,” Vaia said.

Especially when only two characters are talking, readers should be able to keep track of speaker ID with ease. In those situations, speech tags are rarely, if ever, needed. In fact, doing away with tags entirely, unless they are absolutely necessary, is frequently suggested to be a great strategy, although I don’t go that far. Instead of using a speech tag, insert a burst of action before or after a line of dialogue that identifies the speaker and lends opportunities to deepen character chemistry, conflict, and emotions.

Vaia felt something trickling down her cheek. She wiped it, and her hand came away with blood. Jake was pale, and held his arm at a strange angle. “Jake, are you okay?”

 “Of course I’m all right. I’m always all right.”

 She reached toward his shoulder, toward the torn shirt—but something held her back. “But your arm. I thought maybe ….”

 “I’m hurt, but I think it’s fine. You thought maybe I had broken it.” He willed her to admit that she cared.

 The intensity of his gaze forced her to look away. “Well…. I did think that. Can you still fight?” 

Trade in empty speech tags for emotion-infused writing that can do so much more. HOWEVER—Remember that the reader needs to have clear direction as to who is speaking to whom, otherwise you will lose the reader. And I do recommend you don’t get too creative with them.  Said, replied–those are usually all that is required. If you throw in hissed, or moaned, once in a great while for specific circumstances, fine, but not too much please. It’s too distracting for me as a reader.  I close that book and move on to the next when the  characters do too much hissing and moaning. Just sayin’.

This covers the first 5 things to look for in your second draft. Items 6 through 10 will be covered on Wednesday!

 


 

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March 31, 2014 · 5:35 am

HUW the BARD Launch

HTB New Front Cover with gold frameToday is the official launch of HUW THE BARD, a novel set in the alternate medieval world of Waldeyn.

I am doing something quite unique, for me–I am hosting a Virtual Launch Party via Facebook, complete with virtual canapes, champagne, and caviar. The link for this event is here: Huw The Bard Launch Party. Any and all are welcome to stop by and share in the revelry.

This is the hard part of going the indie route–I wrote, had it edited, got it published, and now I have to sell it. There is an art to this, I ‘m sure! Some people with moderately good books are quite successful, and others with truly great books, not so much.  Even Charles Dickens had trouble selling his work, back in the early days of publishing. In fact, most of the early authors of books we now consider classics were unheard of in their own time, except by a few intrepid readers.

So now, in this modern era of social media, I am trying to let the world know I wrote a book. I want folks who might be interested in it to be able to find it.

But I want to do this in such a way that I am not spamming my Facebook friends — because they get enough of that already without me adding to it. Hence, my launch party, open to the public and of course, my friends. How this will go, I don’t know, but I have been looking at other avenues of exposure, and now begins the (tasteful) twitter campaign. Also, many of my friends are supporting me by posting reviews, excerpts and cover reveals on their blogs, which is a huge help.

Carlie M.A. Cullen posted a lovely review.

Maria V.A. Johnson also posted a great review.

Fresh Pot of Tea, Alison DeLuca hosted the cover reveal, and posted an excerpt of the book.

So if you are available, feel free to stop on by  the Launch Party, have a virtual canape and swap a joke or two with me and my friends. I will be posting medieval music that I have come across on YouTube, and of course, we will talk about the book.

HUW THE BARD on Amazon.com

YouTube video book trailer featuring the music of Tom Cusack

 

Lute onBlack Background

 

 

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March 28, 2014 · 6:04 am

HUW the BARD cover reveal

 

HTB New Front Cover with gold frame

 

HTB back cover for create space

Excerpt from ‘HUW THE BARD’ 

Copyright 2014 by Connie J. Jasperson, All Rights Reserved

Desperately Huw continued fighting despite the intense pain in his now useless left hand. Somewhere along the way, Huw noticed it was just he, Derik and Bil still fighting.

After what felt like hours, Bil got in a lucky swing and had the creature hamstrung. It lay thrashing on its side, but still the men could rarely get close enough to the beast to do any more damage. Huw stumbled across a sword, and without thinking he picked it up and threw it, hoping to hit an eye. He heaved it just as the creature opened its mouth to snap at Bil.

The sword entered the gaping maw and sank to the hilt, impaling the soft tissue in the creature’s throat. The firedrake writhed in the dirt, gagging, struggling vainly to dislodge it with his little arms. The high-pitched keening shredded the hearing of everyone in its range. At last they were able to swarm the creature, the three of them hacking at it until they succeeded in finally cutting the great head off, ending the battle.

The silence was deafening, and Huw reeled. “I don’t know about you lads, but someone else is going to have to bury this thing. I’m knackered.” The pain of his injuries rushed in, causing him to drop his sword. Huw fell to his knees, puking his guts up. The last thing he saw was the clearing slowly spinning, as he fell forward into a soft pool of darkness.

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Off and on all day other excerpts from ‘Huw the Bard’  will be appearing on these lovely blogs:

www.carliemacullen.com

www.deborahjayauthor.com

http://alisondeluca.blogspot.com/

www.mariavajohnson.com.

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HUW the BARD trailer on YouTube

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But this is not the only wonderful thing happening this week!  My novella of short stories, Tales From the Dreamtime has been made into an audiobook, and is now available at Amazon and also through iTunes. The wonderful narration was done by Craig Allen, a voice-actor of extraordinary ability. His reading brings the words to life, and working with Craig was a joy.

I have discovered audiobooks, and find them to be wonderful companions on road trips, or even to listen to as I work around my house.

This has definitely been a busy week, and Monday will be even more so, with the launch of Huw the Bard, and the ensuing madness of promoting my work.  Promotion is my weak spot–but I must get better at it. Promotion is part of the indie author’s daily routine, and I must not be lazy!

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March 26, 2014 · 7:16 am

HUW the BARD launch date set

Map of Eynier Valley © Connie J. Jasperson 2014

Map of Eynier Valley © Connie J. Jasperson 2014

I am pretty excited about things right now!  HUW THE BARD will be officially launched on March 31, 2014. I’m having a virtual launch party and everything–with virtual canapes and margaritas.

On Friday, March 28, 2014 we will be revealing the cover, on both Carlie M.A. Cullen’s blog and on this place, right here.  I can hardly wait!

It has been a long journey, to get Huw to this point. I began writing him in November 2011, and had the first draft complete by November of 2012.

I have the good fortune to have a friend, Irene Roth Luvaul, who is a professional author and a fine dedicated editor, go over it, helping me to make the manuscript submission ready. (That process is an entire blogpost in and of itself!)

Inset Bekenberg Trail to Castleton

Bekenberg Trail to Castleton © Connie J. Jasperson 2014

At that point, Huw was sent to the fine ladies at Eagle Eye Editors, where he was thoroughly scrutinized and we went through the editing process. Because of the sometimes difficult things Huw must deal with, that was frequently an emotional ordeal, but Carlie, Maria, and Irene nursed me through it.

In the end, the final product is a book we can all be proud of.

In the meantime–here is the blurb that is on the back of the book:

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Huw Owyn is the last true bard in Waldeyn.

Fleeing a burning city,

Everything he ever loved in ashes behind him,

Penniless and hunted, no place is safe.

Abandoned and alone, eighteen-year old Huw the Bard must somehow survive.

 It’s two-hundred leagues to safety,

And then two-hundred more.

A lot can happen to a man on a journey like that.

Map of Waldeyn © Connie J. Jasperson 2014

Map of Waldeyn © Connie J. Jasperson 2014

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