Category Archives: Humor

January 14, 2015 · 6:40 am

Winter Blues

The strange, dark days of winter have closed in on us. Sunrise won’t happen today until 7:43 a.m., and sunset will fall on us at 4:43 p.m.

That is 16 more minutes of daylight than on the 1st of January, but who’s counting?

This eternal darkness colors my general attitude, making me feel more like staying in bed than getting up and doing things. But then, I get involved in a project and forget how depressing the weather is.

bread machineI think I’ll make rosemary-bread today–I love it toasted. Being vegan, I usually make my own  in my bread machine. My family is used to homemade bread, and look forward to it when they come back to visit. One of my daughters commented that she missed the kind of bread we always had when she was growing up–I didn’t have a bread machine in those days-I just made it by hand. When I didn’t have time to make bread I made biscuits, which we still all love.

Today I am also making granola–another thing that is better when you make it yourself.

I do use locally sourced honey for my granola, which makes it not-vegan, but I am not a purist–honey is a good, natural sweetener and no bees are harmed in the process! For a change-up I use maple syrup. I’m not on the stevia or agave bandwagon, as I don’t really use a lot of sweeteners, and I’ve seen a lot of fads come and go.

My recipe for granola is as follows:

granolaHOMEMADE GRANOLA

BASIC INGREDIENTS

  • 4 cups old-fashioned rolled oats
  • 3/4 cup vegetable oil
  • 1/2 cup locally sourced honey or maple syrup
  • 2 cups shredded coconut
  • 2 cups sliced almonds (or 1 cup sliced almonds and 1 cup chopped walnuts)

 

IDEAS FOR ADD INS (Mix and match–Use your imagination—Go wild!)

  • 1 1/2 cups small diced dried apricots
  • 1 cup banana chips (dried banana)
  • 1 cup chopped dates
  • 1 cup small diced dried figs
  • 1 cup dried cherries
  • 1 cup dried cranberries–I’m from where these are a locally grown product, so I use these most often.
  • 1 cup roasted, unsalted cashews
  • 1 cup dried chopped mango

 

DIRECTIONS:

Preheat the oven to 350 degrees F.

Toss the oats, and coconut and almonds/walnuts together in a large bowl. Whisk together the oil and honey in a small bowl. Pour the liquids over the oat mixture and stir with a wooden spoon until all the oats and nuts are coated.

Pour onto a 13 by 18 by 1-inch sheet pan. Bake, stirring occasionally with a spatula, until the mixture turns a nice, even, golden brown, about 45 minutes. I set the timer so that I am called to the kitchen to stir the granola every 8 minutes–if I forget that step, our granola may be a bit dark and crispy.

Remove the granola from the oven and allow to cool, stirring occasionally. Add the dried fruits. Store the cooled granola in an airtight container

http://ohmyveggies.com/recipe-creamy-wild-rice-mushroom-soup/


http://ohmyveggies.com/recipe-creamy-wild-rice-mushroom-soup/ (replace dairy with almond or coconut milk & Toffutti better-than-sour-cream)

Maybe I’ll make a crock pot soup too, something hearty and comforting. Then, once the house is in order I’m going to write for a while–it’s that sort of day.

Maybe the long dark days aren’t so bad–maybe they’re cozy and comforting in a way. Certainly life is simpler, and the really important things gain a sharper focus–family, friends, and food–the three ‘f’s of a full life.

Tomorrow there will be four more minutes of daylight, and the day after that, four more. Soon we will be at the summer solstice, where the sun rises at 4:11 a.m. and sets at 8:11 p.m.  (5:11 a.m. and 9:11 p.m. PDT)  How good it is to know we are on the ‘getting brighter’ side of the calendar!

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January 12, 2015 · 6:27 am

Finding demographics is not finding Nemo

My New Year’s resolution this year is to identify who I am writing for, and tailor my marketing strategy to that segment of the population.

I should have picked something simple, like losing weight, or bringing about world peace.

I would be lying if I said I write for one particular type of person–although Huw the Bard falls into the not-for-children category. I like to think my books can be enjoyed by both men and women.

Who are youIt’s just that I write whatever I’m in the mood to read, and I read everything, Fantasy first, sci-fi second, then mystery, historical, paranormal, books of political intrigue, books filled with naughty vampires. Romance, YA, hard sci-fi, epic fantasy–I read it all. This makes it difficult to categorize myself .

Looking in the mirror doesn’t help.

At IHop, I am a 55+, getting discounts and a special old people’s menu. I am a senior, according to AARP, and am entitled certain discounts when I produce that all-important AARP card.

These things tell me I am an older person, as does the mirror.

However, these visible signs don’t show the woman with mad kick-ball-skills, who plays Lego Star Wars until the grandchild says she’s had enough games for one day, and he’d like to play outside now. They don’t shed any light on me. the person who will read and reread a book until it is nothing but shreds–if I fell in love with it. The gray hair, the slightly less-than-svelte physique–these clues don’t offer a hint about my obsession with Final Fantasy XII.

And that is the problem.

I write for me, and I don’t know who I am.

The Creative Penn offers 5 tips to assist me in this process:

1. First we must isolate what types and/or groups of people the content of the book would interest.

Well-that is just the problem, isn’t it…but they do give an idea on how to approach that:

"Diego Delso, Wikimedia Commons, License CC-BY-SA 3.0

“Diego Delso, Wikimedia Commons, License CC-BY-SA 3.0

“Example: If your book is about an archaeologist who uses Stone Henge to travel into the future, your book would probably interest history buffs as well as fans of speculative fiction/sci-fi.  If that hero happens to be a former Marine, your book might also interest military personnel and/or the families.” (It’s a direct quote, so I am ignoring the terrible itch to edit out the misspelling of Stonehenge.)

Okay–I think I can do this. My book details the adventures of a bard who is forced to  flee his comfortable existence and who finds himself running from one disaster to another with death-defying regularity.

2. Second, we must: identify other books that are comparable to your book and look at the profiles of those books’ main buyers/readers.

They also explain that concept a little further “The target audience isn’t always who the book was written for, but rather, who it ends up appealing to.  Twilight draws in tween and teenage girls with its premise involving a normal, everyday girl falling into a romance with an young, attractive male (the bread and butter of many young girls’ dreams), but it’s appeal stretched to the cross-section of middle-age female readers who love romance and enjoyed Anne Rice in her heyday.”  

Alrighty then–I was heavily drawn, as a reader, to David Eddings, Anne McCaffrey, Tad Williams, J.R.R. Tolkien, P.D. James, Carl Sagan, Agatha Christie, Piers Anthony, and Fritz Lieber–so I suppose my books reflects a certain amount of their (rather jumbled) influence.

Oh, and don’t forget Roger Zelazney. And Mercedes Lackey.

Well that has narrowed it down quite a bit! (Sarcasm–I know, it’s a nasty habit.) I could have included Tolstoy, James Joyce, Horace Walpole, and Louisa May Alcott, but I didn’t have time.

330px-Pin-artsy3. You are next encouraged to pinpoint what is special about your book.

Again, the Creative Penn offers us some insights on how to go about this: “If you tell someone you’re writing a book about a witch who uses her power of communing with animals to rescue a lost dog from an evil dog-napper, then A. Wow, you have an interesting imagination!  B. You may or may not have taken in 101 Dalmatians too much as a child and C. With such a premise, chances are, your story is more light-hearted than scary, so your target readers to which the mystery aspect of your story will entice are more cozy-type mystery consumers.” So what are the few key words, the hook I can use to sell Huw the Bard? How do I boil the plot down to a few key words? This could take a while, but I’m sure I can do it.

Honest.

4. Now we need to determine some demographics.

That’s the problem–I am the demographic, and I don’t know who I am. Mature Audiences, definitely. There is some graphic sex, although it doesn’t devolve into a porn-fest, There is violence, a witnessed rape, and murder. These are all there because they are watershed moments in Huw’s life, things that change his view of the world. There are also a haunted village and a bisexual knight who talks to his horse, so there is humor midst the misery.

chekhov's gun5. Finally, the Creative Penn suggests we feed the previous four tips into each other to gain even more insight and narrow down who our target audience/s is/are.

Just give me Chekhov’s gun, now. I need to shoot something.

Several times.

Seriously–the article I’ve drawn these suggestions from is a good article, and it goes on to discuss how to use your target audience, which I did find somewhat illuminating.

At this point, if I can get even ONE concrete idea that works, I am feeling good about it. After all, it’s January! I’ve got a whole year to get this down, before I have to admit that this New Year’s resolution has gone the way of my weight-loss dreams and visions of world peace.

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January 8, 2015 · 6:43 am

Wild Things, Maurice Sendak, and kindness

Where_The_Wild_Things_Are_(book)_coverFirst published in 1963, Where the Wild Things Are by Maurice Sendak is one of the most iconic books of my childhood. Not because I was given it, because I was ten years old when it was published, but because my little brother was given it, and I read it aloud to him and my little sister. This was one of the books that taught them how to read.

The art and philosophy of both Maurice Sendak and Dr. Seuss shaped my young life as an author and as a reader.  It was through reading their wonderful works to my younger siblings that I developed my love of reading aloud.

When you read aloud, you share the experience of the tale with another person, and their enjoyment of the tale increases your own.

At least, that is how I see it, and to this day I enjoy reading a book aloud to my family.

The-Martian-ChroniclesI didn’t start out wanting to read to my little sibs–it was forced on me. I really wanted to be left alone so I could read my stolen volumes from Dad’s bedside library–Bradbury, Asimov, M.A. Foster, Phillip K. Dick–the great pioneers of speculative fiction resided in that overburdened bookshelf, and I spent my pre-teen years inventing ways to sneak in and snag a book without getting caught. Simply entering the room where the shelf was enshrined was a crime worthy of the supreme punishment, so I developed crafty ways to liberate a book, and return it–feeling somewhat like Bond as I did so. (Mother was a Bond girl–along with steamy Jacqueline Suzanne novels.) (Ewww.) (Until I hit the age of about 14.) (Everything I know about sex I learned from my mother’s bedside library.)

300px-Sendak-nightkitchenIt was the mid 1960’s. My parents were a typical post-war couple. Dad was a disabled vet and worked as a draftsman, earning a good income, and Mom was an unhappy, bored housewife who hated being a stay-at-home mom. My maternal grandmother lived with us, and to say we lived in a pressure cooker, sometimes, would be an understatement. As the oldest one in that batch of kids, it was my job to entertain the younger siblings.

I wasn’t always kind about it, but once I got into the swing of things, it was fun. In those days, TV was a privilege, not a right. We only had 3 channels, which were boring. But the best way for me to “keep those kids quiet” was to read a story, and we all loved stories with great pictures. Maurice Sendak’s fun, fantastic art fired the mind, for sure.

I still see very little television. I don’t have that connection, that invisible tether that others seem to have to the electronic mind-wipe device. I get quite bored with the predictable storylines and redundant catch-phrases that permeate the airwaves.

318637_570373639644170_1168940723_nWhere the Wild Things Are is a song of  childhood rebellion,  just 338 words. It focuses on a young boy named Max who, after dressing in his wolf costume, wreaks such havoc through his household that he is sent to bed without his supper. (I did the same, many, many times–sans the wolf costume. Costumes were a bother, and were not encouraged in our house.) Max’s bedroom undergoes a mysterious transformation into a jungle environment, and he winds up sailing to an island inhabited by malicious beasts known as the “Wild Things.” After successfully intimidating the creatures, Max is hailed as the king of the Wild Things and enjoys a playful romp with his subjects; however, he decides to return home, to the Wild Things’ dismay. After arriving in his bedroom, Max discovers a hot supper waiting for him–which I never did.

Being forced to be kind to my younger siblings didn’t hurt me at all. In fact it forged an alliance, three angry, rebellious children against the often capricious adult world of the 1960’s. When everything else was going to hell in our outwardly perfect world, we had each other, and we had our books.

 

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January 6, 2015 · 6:17 am

Rendering my brain obsolete

Garmin GPSI have quit using the Garmin, except on long trips.  I like to find my own way around, and I think that getting the directions from Google Maps and finding the path keeps you sharp.  I’m one of those lucky people who usually always knows where I am, and which way is west, unlike my hubby who has no sense of direction.

I navigate by landmarks, and I am always updating my mental map of the area, so that new landmarks are duly noted and don’t throw me off track.

However, some of our best adventures have been at the hands of the Garmin lady.

One of the first things we found out was that if you have the Garmin set on “Pedestrian” mode, it will tell you how far and how fast you have walked. This has been really helpful for my hubby who regularly takes long walks on his lunch break. It’s amazing how far he can walk in an hour.

I will say, there is a down side to this:

IF you forget to switch it back to driving mode, and you decide to make a random trip down Interstate 5  from Olympia, Washington to, oh, let’s say McMinnville, Oregon, you may have a random encounter with The Garmin Lady that goes like this:

6a0120a85dcdae970b0120a86d6130970b-piGarmin Lady: “Exit Freeway at next exit.”

Me and Greg: “What? No way, we aren’t even in Chehalis yet!”

Garmin Lady “Recalculating. Take Next Exit, to the right.”

Me and Greg: “There’s something wrong with this thing. We’re passing Longview. We’re nowhere near McMinnville yet. We’re still in Washington, so what she wants us to do, I can’t imagine.”

Garmin Lady “Recalculating. Make U-Turn at next police turnout and then exit freeway, to the right.”

Us: “What?!? That’s just plain crazy, not to mention illegal! Turn that damned thing off!  It’s broken!”

I kid you not–that actually happened. The Garmin was on pedestrian mode, and was trying desperately to get us off the freeway. However smart the Garmin is, it did not connect the fact we were traveling 70 mph, which is a brisk pace for your average walker, with the notion that maybe we were in a vehicle.

Acer-Aspire-One-AOD257-4I sometimes wonder if all my helpful devices aren’t rendering my brain obsolete. I have my PC, which I am using right now. I have my ancient Acer Aspire laptop, which is a difficult device to enjoy using, and which gets sworn at regularly in coffee shops. It’s slower than a pencil and paper, and is less likely to make a connection to the internet when I really want one. It shall be replaced someday.

I have my Kindle, with more than a thousand books in it. A thousand books! That’s the library of my dreams, and it takes up less space than a regular book! I have my iPod for walking, and I stream music all over my house through the PS3. I have more music in my iPod and on my computer than most radio stations have in their music libraries.

Locutus of BorgSigh.

I’m in possession of more external brain power than a bus full of physicists.

But it’s not enough.

The only way to get the speed and connectivity I really want is to go Borg.  Of course, I will want my headset to coordinate with my clothes–I don’t wear leather, so mine will have to go with tie-dyed cotton. And maybe I can Be Dazzle it, for special occasions.

 

be dazzle kit

 

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January 1, 2015 · 7:00 am

Virtual unreality

midnight-new-years-champagneWhat are your New Years traditions? Normally my hubby and I do something a little fun to celebrate, but this year we were pretty low-key. I’ve been suffering from a flu-like virus, and I was finally fairly mobile, enough to go out to dinner at the local Mexican restaurant we like so much.

Then we spent New Year’s eve at an all-night party with friends from all over the world. I love the virtual reality of the internet universe. You’re never alone unless you log off Facebook.

canapes (1)My publisher, Myrddin Publishing threw a great virtual New Year’s party on Facebook where the authors and readers got to meet and have a rollicking time in the virtual universe. For a short time (until Sunday Jan 4th 2015) kindle downloads of Huw the Bard and Tales From The Dreamtime are on sale for .99 cents.

breakfastThe party is still going on today, with a virtual breakfast being served, and people popping in and out. I’ve had a lot of fun with that, despite being under the weather. And this morning on New Years Day, I actually feel good.

So what are my goals for this new year that looms fresh and untrammeled before us?

My goal is to create and implement a marketing plan for my books.  This is something I have attempted, but have always become side-tracked by life, and never got back to it. From what I’ve read on the internet this involves a combination of things:

1. During January I’m going to create a plan-of-action, and map out my strategy. Once I know the answers to the next two questions I will be able to develop a plan of attack.

2. I will identify my audience.  This is hard–I write for my own amazement, so I’m not sure what my audience is! But I will spend some  time figuring that out, and I will blog about the process.

2. I will figure out what makes my books different from all the other books out there, aside from their obvious, amazing wonderfulness. This is also difficult! I wrote these things while in a trance, apparently, as the minute someone asks me about them, my mind goes blank and I have no idea how they got here, or what they’re about. I will probably blog about that process too.

3. I will budget $$ for Google ads and Goodreads ads, and see how they perform. My Goodreads ad seems to get a lot of clicks, but I’m not sure it translates into sales. I haven’t done a Google ad yet.

Possibilites copyI’m pretty lousy at blatant self-promotion. But I intend to make this a good year for honing my marketing skills in such a way that I can sell a few books without annoying my friends!

It’s a brand new beginning, with endless possibilities. In completing and publishing my books, I’ve already achieved dreams I never thought possible, and now a new year lies before me. How wonderful to know that anything can happen!

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December 29, 2014 · 5:15 am

Editing the Closets

Alas, my closets are out of control. I have far too many possessions for the size of my home. Thus the ever-popular winter occupation of Editing the Closets is now upon us. Let me clarify that–it’s really more of a gut job than editing.

I have successfully turned the strangely placed closet in my dining room into a pantry, adding shelves and taking four bags of coats, a box of random household appliances, and several over-sized roasting-pans to be recycled back into the community. This monumental task gave me a proper place to store the crockpots and other largish objects that once lived in the void between the top of my kitchen cabinets and the ceiling, shoved out of the way in a place where I couldn’t get to them easily.

Also, I now have an entire shelf dedicated to storing bulk baking supplies. Being vegan, I bake my own bread, and make my own granola, so I always have a lot of bulk staples on hand.

The room my grandchildren play in is next. It has become a dumping ground for extra blankets and empty amazon boxes, and that’s not acceptable. The closet shall be emptied of the random boxes of strange things we’ve never looked at since we moved here in 2005. Those will be emptied and recycled into the community. All our off season clothes will be stored there–what an odd thought!  Clothes in the closet!

the way I workAfter that–perhaps the Room of Shame. Only the Universe knows what lurks in there–but I need to able to work in a tidy environment, and this office is most definitely not that.

In the meantime I’m fighting off a virus, swollen glands and scratchy throat. A sniffy nose, too. Perhaps I will nap the rest of the day.  I’ should put on a crockpot full of black-bean chili. I have my PS3 and my kindle–the two things that will make my sick-day a lot more pleasant!

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December 26, 2014 · 6:11 am

Talking with Erika M. Szabo

Field Roast holiday roast croppedWe survived another Christmas! The refrigerator is bursting with leftovers, and we had a wonderful dinner with one of our sons, and one of my brothers. Life is good! The carnivores said the turkey was good, but surprisingly to me, given the amount of teasing I endure at their hands, the Hazelnut Cranberry Holiday Roast en Croute was the star of show, with little of it being left over. The world did not stop in its orbit as the vegan meal was consumed with gusto, and no one left the table hungry!

I’m always intrigued by the way other authors think, and today, Erika M Szabo, author of The Ancestors’s Secrets series, has consented to answer a few questions for us.

CJJ: Tell us a little of early life and how you began writing:

ES: I became an avid reader at a very early age, thanks to my dad who introduced me to many great books. I started writing educational books twelve years ago when I received my PhD in Alternative Medicine. I love animals, therefore I created the Read for Animals anthology series and published two books with authors and poets to help animals. The story idea for Ancestor’s Secrets series came from my Hun heritage, from the legends and history. I created a magical, fantasy world using bits of real historical facts and incorporating real life events from my years of working as a trauma nurse into the story.

CJJ: I love that you are able to draw on your heritage for your work. Tell us about your most recent book.

ES:  In the Ancestor’s Secrets series, present and past blends into a paranormal fantasy tale with intriguing clan secrets, magical heritage, love triangle and Ilona’s exciting and dangerous life in a secret society. Ilona is a young doctor settled into a world of logic and reason. She inherits a world of traditions, well-kept secrets and magical powers, and is left to piece together her clan’s past, using nursery rhymes taught to her by her mother. Learning some of the secrets not only confuses her, but places her in mortal danger.  When a sinister man appears, Ilona connects his presence to a series of mysterious deaths. He can influence others to kill her, but why can’t he touch her? There are clues around every corner, and the elusive answers draw her further into the hidden world of her people.  As if the mysteries aren’t enough, her life becomes more complicated when she meets a dashing stranger. Although he saves her life by putting his own life in danger, she senses evil in him. The first book of The Ancestor’s Secrets series raises questions such as: what if there is a secret society exists hidden among us with its strict rules and fiercely enforced laws, and certain members come to possess magical powers? What if finding love, despite the obstacles thrown our way, is possible? What if we could have the power to visit the ancestors in the past and create our own future?

CJJ: That sounds intriguing! How did you come to write this novel?

ES: On a rainy afternoon I couldn’t find any new book to read. I was moping around, browsing my bookshelves, mumbling to myself. After a while my daughter had enough and snapped at me, “Mom, stop whining! If you haven’t a book to read, then write one.” Her challenge shocked me, but I started playing with the idea. I’ve never excelled in following rules or formulas, so I discarded the instructions I found in “how to write fiction” books, and made up my personal rules. At first, I started playing with the story just for my own enjoyment, I thought, writing the swirling ideas in my head was far better than being haunted by them. I kept writing for months, and soon I realized that I never had so much fun doing anything in my life before.

CJJ: I always wonder, and my reader do too, do you have a specific ‘Creative Process’ that you follow, such as outlining or do you ‘wing it’?

ES:  When I started writing the novel series, I only had a vague outline of the story in my mind, and I kind of let the story develop on its own. Some parts are totally different now than I had originally planned.

CJJ: Many of us write fantasy, but how does your work differ from others of its genre?

ES: The Ancestors’ Secret series is an epic fantasy, heroic romance series written mostly in diary style with paranormal magical powers, ancient legends, love triangle and time travel.

CJJ: We each write for our own reasons, but why do you write what you do?

ES:  My favorite genre to read I love to read is magical realism/fantasy stories, therefore it is my favorite genre to write as well.

CJJ: I know why I chose the indie route for my work, but I’m curious as to why you’ve chosen this path.

ES: The first edition of my novel series was published by a traditional publisher. I was not satisfied with the editing, book cover, formatting, as well as the full control they had on the story. I decided to break the contract, form my own publishing company and edit, format and publish the story the way I like it.

CJJ: I had a similar experience! What advice would you offer an author trying to decide whether to go indie or take the traditional path?

ES:  Both have advantages and disadvantages. If your book is accepted by a traditional publisher, read the fine lines of the contract and if it doesn’t suit you, then go indie.

I so agree with you, Erika!  Thank you for visiting today, and I can’t wait to read these books!

erika szabo protectedbythefalconebookBook 1, Protected By The Falcon

Ilona is a doctor and is ruled by logic, yet when she starts to develop unusual powers, her beliefs change and she’s thrown into a world of mysteries, traditions and secrets. Nursery rhymes taught by her mother lead her to discover her clan’s past, which still exist with its fiercely enforced laws. A dangerous dark man stalks Ilona who is unexpectedly rescued by a handsome stranger, Zoltan. As their relationship grows, her feelings for best friend, Bela, starts to fade. When her life and the future of her people become threatened, she must gather all her courage and use her inherited powers to fight back. Infused with Hungarian legend, the twisting plot keeps the reader turning the pages of this extraordinary fantasy story. The Ancestors’ Secret series is an epic fantasy, heroic romance series with magical powers, ancient legends, love triangle and time travel that is a great read for fantasy lovers and also suitable for young adults.

http://www.amazon.com/Protected-Falcon-Ancestors-Secrets-Book-ebook/dp/B00LNBSKIY

erika m szabo ChosenbytheSwordebook (2)Book 2, Chosen By The Sword

In book one, Protected By The Falcon, Ilona is thrust from her easy and steady life and forced to face the unknown, which prompts her to discover the ancient tribal secrets. The rules of her ancient Hun clan that still exist with strict laws suffocate her, but she is resourceful and daring. She discovers secrets and obtains unimaginable powers to protect her sister, who bears the next leader of the clan. If she does not succeed, the fate of her people is at stake. She must sort through her own feelings about the men in her life. Will she choose Bela, her best friend, or the handsome and noble Zoltan? From the time when her people were nomads, the castles of the 14th century to the present, travel through time with Ilona as she struggles to overcome the obstacles placed in her path by ruthless individuals who want to inflict their rule on the Hun clan. The Ancestors’ Secret series is an epic fantasy, heroic romance series with paranormal magical powers, ancient legends, love triangle and time travel that is also suitable for young adults.

http://www.amazon.com/Chosen-Sword-Ancestors-Secrets-Book-ebook/dp/B00RAGLWVI

Short Bio of Erika M. Szabo:

ErikaMSzabo I became an avid reader at a very early age, thanks to my dad who introduced me to many great books. The writing bug bit me much later, on a rainy afternoon, when I couldn’t find any new book to read. My daughter had enough of my moping around and snapped at me, “Mom, stop whining! If you haven’t a book to read, then write one.” Her challenge shocked me, but I started playing with the idea. What if there is a secret society with strict rules and laws exist hidden among us? What if certain members come to possess magical powers? What if those abilities could be used to do good or evil? I’ve never excelled in following rules or formulas, so I discarded the instructions I found in “how to write fiction” books, and made up my personal rules. At first, I started playing with the story just for my own enjoyment, I thought, writing the swirling ideas in my head was far better than being haunted by them. I kept writing for months, and soon I realized that I never had so much fun doing anything in my life before.

If you are interested in seeing more of Erika’s work, here are her links:

WEBSITE: http://www.authorerikamszabo.com  

FACEBOOK: https://www.facebook.com/Erika.M.Szabo.ND.Author

TWITTER: https://twitter.com/ErikaMSzabo

LINKEDIN: http://www.lnkd.in/N64qzw

GOOGLE: https://plus.google.com/112402888400847638099/posts   

PINTEREST http://www.pinterest.com/erikamszabo/

SMASHWORDS https://www.smashwords.com/profile/view/GoldenBoxBooks

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December 22, 2014 · 7:11 am

Winter’s Heart

HolidayTree2012Web Olympia Downtown Association

Olympia Downtown Association

I love the way the Christmas lights  light up the dark streets at this time of the year. It removes a little of the creepy ‘horror movie’ factor from being downtown at night. Why can’t we have them on the bare trees all winter long? They make the long, dark nights feel so much kinder.

It rains a lot here, some years more than others. This year seems to be a ‘more’ year, but that’s what we like up here. Something about the  gloomy days fires my desire to write. The climate of Northern Waldeyn in my book, Huw the Bard, is inspired by the weather here in the great Northwest, as are the forests and the mountainous countryside. Even the waterfalls are inspired by those that can be found here in my home state of Washington.

We made the weekend journey north to see our kids and drop off presents for our grandkids this weekend, slogging up I-5 in the pouring rain and heavy traffic. It’s not too bad if you aren’t in a hurry-so I never make that trip with high expectations of arriving anywhere in a timely fashion–it can’t be done. Far too many vehicles clog the lone artery that connects Olympia Washington with Vancouver, British Columbia to the North, and San Diego, California to the South.

With our traveling done, and the winter solstice past us, we’re just preparing for our small Christmas day celebration here at Casa del Jasperson. After Christmas, I intend to settle in and get serious about writing again. I’ve been editing a wonderful book, which is a pleasure. I also have several irons in the fire, so to speak–the third book in the Tower of Bones series, Mountains of the Moon, is in the middle of the editing process at Eagle Eye Editors. MOTM is a prequel to Tower of Bones, and is a lighthearted book.

I’m in the final stages of reformatting Tower of Bones to be republished sometime in early 2015–new cover, new maps, all new interior, and Forbidden Road also has a new cover, new maps and a newly reformatted interior. I am still working on the cover for Mountains of the Moon, but I have an idea of what I want to do. The design studio in my Room of Shame is cranking out artwork as fast as I can think it up.

I’ve gotten the two followup books to Forbidden Road through the rough draft stage and into to the final fleshing out. The Wayward Son, and Valley of Sorrows had to be written concurrently, and the story line necessitated a name change in the earlier books, as a minor character became a major character, and her name was nearly identical to that of another major character. Since I had already pulled the two earlier books for reformatting, I decided to just take the plunge, and make that change globally. The Wayward Son is the story of John Farmer’s redemption, and takes place during the same months as Forbidden Road.

I’ve learned how to make vectors, and am getting the hang of creating digital art, and have found that I have a talent for graphic design. At least I like my pretty pictures.

All in all, it’s going to be a busy year. I can hardly wait to see what is going to come along next–maybe I’ll take up alpaca ranching. I’ve never done that before. They can’t be any worse than sheep…which were a pain, if you want the truth.

Okay. No alpacas. But they are awfully cute.

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December 17, 2014 · 5:49 am

The Queen of Bags

father-christmas-saint-02I love the sights and scents of the holiday season. Cookies baking, houses on our street with lighted displays–you don’t have to go wild to make a huge impression. My dear hubby always puts a few decorations out, little trees made of white lights and lighted candy-canes.

All up and down our neighborhood, homes are decorated for the season. Anyone driving through our little valley will see some ambitious displays. Our home is really quite simple in its holiday decorating–a tree, candles, a cute centerpiece for the table. We keep it simple because we have to tear it down and put it all away over New Year’s day, and that rapidly becomes a bore.  It’s work, and I don’t like anything that falls into the category of labor. But I love looking at other people’s efforts!

christmas-gift-bagsWrapping the presents is also a bore, but I am now the queen of bags! I love that all I have to do is remove the price-tag, fold a little tissue around it and stuff it in a bag. Jam a little tissue in the top and voila! Christmas is served! No more tape sticking to the wrong place, and no more hunting for the scissors I just set down.

Just lazy me, blowing through wrapping the pile of presents like a sleigh through snow!

We have a lot of grand-kids. We’ll make sure their gifts arrive at their houses before the big day. It’s sad when their presents are out from under our tree and under the trees in their homes because our tree looks a bit lonely. But not for long–we’ll soon have a few bags under there, just a little something for the two old people to enjoy on their quiet Christmas morning.

Field Roast holiday roastIt doesn’t take a lot to make the place feel festive. A little here and there, and the house feels warmer, cozier. An atmosphere of peace and well-being. I will roast a turkey breast for my hubby because he is a carnivore, but I will make a vegan entrée for me, a Hazelnut-Cranberry Roast made by the Seattle-based Field Roast Company. Everything I cook will be vegan except Greg’s turkey, and it will be delicious.

I make all the traditional dishes, substituting Earth Balance vegan margarine and almond or rice milk for the dairy. I use vegetable broth to make the cranberry-walnut stuffing. Anyone can eat well, if they choose to, and it’s not anymore expensive than eating junk-food, cheaper if you want to know the truth.

This is my recipe for:

onion and mushroom gravyONION AND MUSHROOM GRAVY

Ingredients:

  •  3/4 cup white or button mushrooms, chopped
  • 1 small yellow or white onion, minced
  • 1/4 cup vegan margarine
  • 2 1/2 cups vegetable broth
  • 2 tbsp soy sauce
  • 1/4 cup flour
  • 1 tbsp poultry seasoning (or 1/2 tsp each of sage, thyme and marjoram)
  • salt and pepper to taste

Preparation: 

In a large skillet, melt the vegan margarine and add onion and mushrooms. Sauté for just a minute or two over high heat.

Reduce heat to medium and add vegetable broth and soy sauce. Slowly add flour, stirring well to combine and prevent lumps from forming. Bring to a simmer or a low boil, then reduce heat.

santa in snow stormI love this time of year. Great food, all the Christmas lights and decorations–I kind of go nuts. When we take the presents round to our children’s homes I feel a sense of having succeeded–they have new traditions for their children, combined some from our past. I feel a sense of continuity–We’re the grandparents now, the old-fashioned ones, the ones who always have time for a cuddle and never deny a grandchild a cookie when he wants one.

We’re always there, slightly in the way of Mom getting things done, but trying not to be. We’re happy to be mauled, sat on, have our hair brushed, even our toe-nails painted if that’s what makes a child happy. We’ll play Legos with them until the cows come home, so their parents can get the real work of the holidays done.

When their parents were small, our parents were there for them, being the old, wise people who loved our children as unconditionally as we love our grandchildren. 

In this holiday dance, the circle is complete.

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December 12, 2014 · 7:27 am

Sinking the Hook

book-cover-middlemarchThe books that ring my bells all start out with a really great hook–in some cases the first line is the clincher, but most definitely by the time the first page has passed, I am hooked and ready to be enthralled.

Some of the best first lines ever: George Eliott’s Middlemarch starts, “Miss Brooke had that kind of beauty which seems to be thrown into relief by poor dress.” That line makes you want to know Miss Brooke. And who is the observer who chronicles this?

How about this first line from Ulysses, by the king of great lines, James Joyce: “Stately, plump Buck Mulligan came from the stairhead, bearing a bowl of lather on which a mirror and a razor lay crossed.”

pride and prejudiceOr, take this quote from the Guardian regarding the first line of Jane Austen’s Pride and Prejudice: “It is a truth universally acknowledged, that a single man in possession of a good fortune, must be in want of a wife.” The one everyone knows (and quotes). Parodied, spoofed, and misremembered, Austen’s celebrated zinger remains the archetypal First Line for an archetypal tale. Only Dickens comes close, with the beginning of A Tale of Two Cities: “It was the best of times, it was the worst of times, it was the age of wisdom, it was the age of foolishness, it was the epoch of belief, it was the epoch of incredulity, it was the season of Light etc…” 

Good first lines are critical. They have a singular duty, to involve the reader and kidnap them for the length of the book. Our first lines must make the reader beg to know what will happen next.  We have to think about that first line, those first paragraphs, and how to land our reader.

TheEyeOfTheWorldDoes your first line have to introduce your main character? I think not. Dickens introduced an era in his opening lines, and it works. In his Wheel of Time series, Robert Jordan frequently opened with a glimpse into the side of evil, illuminating that which Rand Al Thor must somehow prevail against, and that always hooked me.

Regardless of what you introduce, the hook MUST pertain to the tale. It must reveal something about the book in such a way that it sticks with the reader. Do not waste time in getting to the plot, because even a good hook cannot save a bad novel.

The first pages of books that intrigue me introduce a “dramatic question” and even if the reader doesn’t realize it, that question can often be answered with a yes or a no–will the hero succeed? Will good conquer evil? Will love triumph? What the hell happened to drive Lews Therin Telemon mad and what will happen next?

Consider these things when writing the opening paragraphs:

1. The opening lines set the tone for the story

2. The opening lines introduce the dramatic question that is the core of the story

3. The opening lines introduce the sense of place, the setting of the story.

Ask yourself where the story truly begins, and start there. What came before that can be cut from the final draft, as it is just background information that is necessary for your reference.

I think it’s good to read books outside your genre, and read them with the idea of understanding what makes them classics. Read literary fiction, read romance, read sci-fi–read widely if only to see what a different genre is about, how it is different from what you write. In all fiction, the first pages are the ones that kidnap the reader. Covers and blurbs may sell the book, but the first pages plunge the reader into your world.

 

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